Title

The Joker

by Fanfic Fetishist
Storyline The magic zipper
Characters Joker
Category Body Modification
Previous Chapter The DC universe

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    "A zipper unzips a thousand flies.  When Joker escapes, a thousand die," the clown philosophized as he idly played with the eldritch device in his hands, innocuously shaped like a zipper.  He played with it, tossing it back and forth, wondering where it had come from and what it was for.  

    "How odd," Joker said.  "Is someone playing a joke on me?  Because I don't think I get it.  And an unfunny joke just makes me want to murder things."  He blinked, and added, "Of course, there's a lot of things that make me want to murder people."  He cackled merrily.  After a few minutes, he looked at the zipper again.  He felt an adhesive substance on the back, and as an experiment, placed it on his doorway.  

    "Okay, so it sticks?" he said.  "Maybe it's part of a costume or something."  The Joker grabbed the zipper by the zip, and pulled it downward.  

    The foot thick door unzipped as if it was a pair of pants.  

    Joker stared in shock, pulling off the zipper.  Everyone else in the high security wing stared as well.  

    He giggled, and stepped outside of his cell.  "Handy dandy super unzipper!  I wonder what else this can do?" he said, ignoring the other super-villains as they tried to get his attention, trying to get him to use the zipper to free them.  

    "Shame you'll never find out," said a voice from behind the Joker, a gun poking him in the back of the head.  

    Joker whirled, knocking the gun out of the guard's hand, pinning the muscular man against the wall.  "Hmph," he said.  "Piggy piggy.  Time to squeal."  He placed the zipper on the man's forehead and unzipped it, expecting him to fall apart in a gory mess.  

    Instead, the man's body unzipped like a costume, a terrified pig scrambling out of it and running off, the man's original body fading out of existence.  Joker stared for a moment and giggled, realizing what just happened.

    "I thought of him as a pig... and he became a pig when I unzipped him..." he said.  "Oh this is delightful!"

    He looked back into the room.  All the other super-villains, save for an interested Harley Quinn, were all crowded up away from their cell doors, not wanting to get near the Joker and his zipper.  Joker smirked, considering his options.  Should he just escape?  Should he transform the villains into something useful so he'd have help for when he finally makes Batman what he wants him to be?  Literally?  (He was at least going to take Harley, no matter what.  He had grown admittedly fond of her, especially since she had gotten so good at keeping annoying sidekicks away from his Batman)  Or maybe he could transform himself?  

    ...Hell, why not do all of it?  The options the zipper represented were just too good!  Such a delightful comedy he could weave...


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Cal512 - 7/21/2017 8:56 AM
*risk of litigation with DA
Cal512 - 7/21/2017 8:55 AM
My problem was litigation by DeviantArt and now I'm lacking motivation.
JimmyKasche - 7/21/2017 2:39 AM
I've been a bit busy in real life... which is why my chapters kinda stalled... when I finally got time to write... I got sick and my brain doesn't wanna focus :P
Gorel - 7/20/2017 10:56 PM
Actually let me know if there's another story you want me to add or continue... Got so many ;)
Gorel - 7/20/2017 10:54 PM
Well I'll try to post She-Hulk; Going Native some time this weekend. Unless anyone else would like to.
colleem - 7/20/2017 1:30 PM
for me it is the bored thing. Most of the Stories are only a few sentence long and not very deep in charakter.
Gorel - 7/20/2017 1:10 PM
A combination of the 3 really.
Danknoodle420 - 7/20/2017 10:47 AM
Also have you seen any other members around? Seems like they kinda dissapear for some reason. I don't know if they're off to work, got bored of writing, or I'm just completely wrong and you guys are working your butts off.
Danknoodle420 - 7/20/2017 10:44 AM
Yeah sure! I don't write that much but I'll keep it in mind. Also excuse my laziness haha. Ha... I need to stop being so lazy. It's really turning into a problem now.
Cal512 - 7/19/2017 3:27 PM
Now that we are on the subject of constructive criticism... Darknoodle, can you please try to space out your chapters? The wall of text makes it hard to read.



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