(This has got to be quick)
It slid at her from out of nowhere. Jean Grey was sitting in her room, thinking (obsessing) on her ex-husbands romance with her greatest enemy (it hurt so bad, but what could she do?) when a wave of disorientation passed over her. She felt the strange contact begining in the back of her mind - a tickling that was almost pleasent at first, as it had nothing to do with Scott Summers and Emma Frost - but as it grew, she recognised it for what it was. A soul. A spirit. A dying moth flickering about the edges of her mind...before diving right in...and making itself at home.
She couldn't know. She couldn't know that the neighboring DC Universe had 'Crisis-and-imploded' again, killing it's inhabitants...before the endless cycle of 'rebirth-and-renew' that would end in yet another Crisis no more than ten years in the future. She couldn't know that a band of Batman's old rogues gallery had learned of the destruction to come, and had found a way to possibly cheat death. To allow their 'elemental essence' to survive the destruction, and be reborn in already living beings in nextdoors 'Marvel' universe.
She felt it as the soul plunged inside her...distracting her from her recent misery...with the strangest yet most beautiful imagery. Birds. Beautiful, wonderful birds. Why be depressed over Scott when the world was full of such lovely birds? She loved them so much...but she also loved money. So many strange obsessions slipped into her distressed mind, she almost didn't notice as her body began it's just as strange transformation. The new soul must be made comfortable, after all...and as her spirit and her invader bound and fused together...Jean had to laugh. She felt so free and unshackled by the fetters of the world...so un-caged by her old opinions. It wasn't that Jean Grey was gone...nor that the new soul had taken over. Rather, they had merged into a single new being ; dominated by her invaders personality, but not destroyed by it.
Jean waddled to a mirror, and inspected her body with interest - not afraid or horrified, but proud and rather pleased. She was very short and very fat, of course. Very fat. Her opulent corpulence was a symbol of her stature as a person, wasn't it? She squawked and chortled as she inspected her lovely pear-shape, pleased with her queenly girth. She was dressed to the nines, as usual. Unlike some of the lunatics she sometimes assorted with, elegance and class were always her watchwords. A finely tailored suit of black and purple flaunted her size from the tails of her coat to the spats of her polished shoes. Gloves of white kidskin, a black top hat and a gleaming monocle winking from her right eye. Yes...elegance and class.
The monocle drew her attention to her face. She was largely the same, save for her plumper cheeks and double chin. She thought she looked rather fetching with her long, red hair tumbling supermodel-like over her shoulders and down her back in well maintained waves. The only real change...was her nose. And that was an obvious improvement, wasn't it? Instead of her tiny snub of a nose, she now had a proud, queenly beak of impressive size. Long, tapering and slightly upturned, she found that she now thought of her nose as one of her best features.
Still squawking with glee, she light a cigarette in a long, black holder and canted her top hat at a rakish angle, gripping her umbrella (she always carried an umbrella, didn't she?) she waddled from the room...a changed person.
"I...I don't believe it. It's just too strange..." said Hank McCoy as he inspected the proud, preening little woman who stood before him. The rest of the X-Men were gathered as well, all shocked by Jean's strange transformation...and her utter delight with her new appearance.
"Nothing strange about of, my dear Beast. I've simply shed my faded plumage. And please stop calling me 'Jean Grey', dear boy. My name's Jeannette Chesterfield Cobblepot. My poor family is dead. My old life should join them. Gone away is the fading, unhappy Phoenix. In her place I rise anew...as the proud Penguin."
All tests proved that despite her strange changes, she was still basically the same person with the same memories...but a new personality had fused with her old self, resulting in a smooth and unbreakable new soul. Professor X and Emma Frost (who seemed amused with her new Penguin identity) said that any attempt to remove the new personality might result in the death of both.
"Do not worry, friends..." she squwaked to those she was closest to "...I feel better than I have in years. Gone to obsession with an unworthy man who wronged me, and in it's place...freedom. Free from worries and woe. Free to fly once again..."
Wolverine (who had been disturbed with her changes) was shocked as the new Jeannette Chesterfield Cobblepot stepped up to him...and kissed him with her full, plump lips. The kiss lingered, before she whispered "Free...to fly, Logan. Will you join this bird on the wing? I'm free, Logan. Free to love who I will...and I'd love you, if you'd accept me."
She winked, then turned and waddled from the room. She wanted to go out...to really EAT in this body. To enjoy herself as she WANTED to. She hoped Logan would follow her...but also, she found that though she cared not a feather for Scott...she HATED Emma Frost more than ever. NOBODY crosses Jeannette Chesterfield Cobblepot and boasts of it. She'd have to guide a special soul into the foolish woman. That was what she was hear for, after all. She'd guide her old friends to inhabit her new friends...freeing both from their shackles. That sweet Kitty Pride would make an excellent Cat-Woman. And perhaps Ororo would become the new home of Poison Ivy? Someone special for Emma, though. A dull-witted Blockbuster or Killer Croc, perhaps. Or even a deformed monster that Scott could never love, like Two-Face or Scarecrow?
She squawked and 'Wak-wak'ed as she thought of all she could do. Then...she began to plan her new crimes.