(A/N: Please let me know what you think. I know I suck, and I want to get better.)
"You're 110% sure that this is the only way?" asked Jaime, head cradled in his hands.
"That is not even mathematically possible, but yes, I am certain. Why do you hate this option?" said the Scarab. "It is the optimal course of action."
"Turning women into sex slaves and then using them as personal soldiers? That's a level of skeevy I don't even want to think about."
"If we want to live to fight another day, let alone get the captives to safety and restored to their normal state of mind, we have no other way."
"Shouldn't these guys have like a reset button or something for the brainwahsing? Just in case something goes wrong and they need to start from scratch?" Jaime remembered dealing with such a situation before, back while dealing the Reach. After
the Scarab was damaged by magical forces, the alien conquerors tried to reset it, thereby brainwashing Jaime into their loyal servant. It hadn't worked, thankfully, but the incident had left a mark on Jaime.
"Affirmative. However, doing so requires an Administrator password. Without it, manual hacking would take approximately six Earth months. You are stalling, Jaime."
"I know," said Jaime heavily. "But can you blame me?" He stared at the holographic screen, looking over the list of super-women. Each of their powers and skills were displayed, along with a profile picture intended to make them look as attractive as
possible. To Jaime's shame, it was working. "OK. I want a small team. Much more wieldy then getting all of them out, and I figure it will be easier not to go mad with power that way. If we need more, we'll get more, but let's keep the list short
for now. We'll need muscle. Wonder Woman and Power Girl are first, no question. Plus, they've both got plenty of leadership experience, much more then I do. I can bounce ideas off them, get their input." He sighed. "Really hope they don't hold this against
me..."
On the screen, Wonder Woman and Power Girl's profiles were highlighted. "Who else?" asked the Scarab.
"Let's get a badass normal. If Ted Kord's taught us anything, it's that you don't need powers to win." Jaime began scrolling down the screen in his search. "Let's get...this Chinese Batgirl. Black Bat? Yeah that's her name, Black Bat."
"A reminder: we are not limited to choices from our native universe. We also have access to captives taken from other universes."
"Right. We'll need someone with smarts. Someone who can help us fix the main control panel and get us moving and defended again."
"Searching..." Dozen of profiles flashed across the screen as the Scarab search much faster then Jaime could. "Two potential candidates. Tali'zorah vs Normandy. Extremely talented mechanical genius with extensive experience with starships.
Also skilled with advanced weaponry. Second candidate is Samus Aran. In addition to designing her own, custom starship, she had access to an advanced alien armor powerful enough to rival our own." One listening carefully might have noticed a hint of
jealousy.
"Get them both. Alright, let's get one more. We need a medic, someone who can patch us up if things go south."
"Candidate found. Katara. Extensive skill as a healer, noted as the greatest in her universe. That is most likely hyperbole, but the skill is undeniable. Also has access to magical hydrokinetic and cryokinetic abilities that she calls 'waterbending'."
"Add her in."
"Done. Are you satisfied with this selection?"
"'Course not. I'm upset I had to make a selection at all." Jaime sighed. "But yeah. As much as I hate it, yeah. I am."
"I am sending the command to transport to slavo-pods to the bridge. There you can...wait."
One profile filled up the screen, blinking an alarming red. "Occupant of Slavo-Pod #1501, Morrigan Aensland, is giving off poor life signs. Assessing the problem..."
"What's going on?" said Jaime, concerned. "Add her to the list, we can get Katara to take a look at her!"
"Problem assessed. Morrigan is a succubus. She was captured by the Gorminati months ago, and has not been given proper nutrition. Succubi feed on sexual fluids, which the Gorminati have not been providing. They felt that would be her master's job."
Jaime was quiet for a good while. "Jaime?"
"I'm going to have to have sex with her, aren't I?"
"...Yes. I am...sorry, Jaime."
"It's fine," said Jaime, breathing heavily. "It's not your fault." Suddenly, Jaime slammed his fist into the control panel. "They are going to pay for this!"
"Based on psychological profile from before programming, Morrigan would most likely not mind, even if she could give consent."
"That really doesn't help, Scarab." Jaime rubbed his temples. "But thanks. Bring them in here, let's get this over with."
Panels opened in the floor as seven, perfectly white pods slowly rose up onto the bridge. With a hissing noise, the doors opened, revealing a sleeping, beautiful woman inside. For a moment, they appeared still and lifeless, but with a jolt, their eyes
opened, staring unblinkingly at Jaime. Almost as one, they grinned and scrambled out of their pods. They knelt down on their knees, foreheads brushing the cold, steel floor, and asked breathlessly, "How may we serve you, master?"
"You can start," said Jaime, "by getting off the floor."