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Jimmy Olsen shivered softly as he stared at the webpage that showed his name on the Freebie List. It was SOOO tempting...
But he still wasn't sure to think of all this. He needed to investigate more...
Going to get a drink, he turned on the news, watching as a reporter debated J. Jonah Jameson about the moral implications of having super-powered hookers acting as the world's defenders. The man's viewpoint was clearly outdated, citing old values of women
submitting to men. Jameson was visibly struggling not to laugh, making a case that was surprisingly intelligent and reasoned, at least to Jimmy. He still remembered the years Jameson spent demonizing Spider-Man in the public view. "Getting free sex for
life from every superbabe on the planet must mellow one out," Jimmy said, chuckling. Shaking his head, Jimmy got his drink and then went over to his window, looking out of it.
He was still in his apartment, which was still in the same place in the city. He looked up and saw Superwoman flying over the city, just like he'd sometimes see Superman on patrol back when the world had a Superman. Stunned, he went over to the website
again, staring at it. After a long moment, he decided to keep investigating the website. It was his best source for changes right now, and he wouldn't be a news reporter (well... photographer, but he was friends with reporters!) if he didn't do a proper
He looked over the site, stroking his chin thoughtfully (and, for the moment, not stroking something else). There was the school link, and a cursory glance over it showed lots of nubile young Whoreoines in training (the age of consent was apparently sixteen
here, with excruciatingly harsh punishments for pedophiles).
"Well... good," Jimmy said, smirking. He decided to examine this page a bit more closely, reading the front page summary.
"The Charles Xavier Memorial School for Whore-oine Training was formed when Charles Xavier, one of the few male mutants in the world, realized the need for young mutants to have training in their powers, a safe place where they could learn about their unique
abilities in safety. He opened his school with the intent of providing them with this place. With the increasing proliferation of young heroines rising, he opened the doors to them as well, hiring several prominent Whoreoines to act as teachers in the sexual
arts, something he couldn't help with due to his crippling injuries. After his death from a Friends of Humanity assassin, Headmistress Jean "Phoenix" Summers took over the school, renaming it in his honor, where she maintains it to this day with her fellow
teachers," he read. "Huh. Well that's good, I guess."
He glanced over the links, which included Faculty and Staff, Curriculum, Student (Sexy) Bodies, Dorm Life, Student Reports, Teaching Aides (Apply here!), Activities, Early Motherhood Programs, and a few other, more mundane-seeming links.
He clicked on the Teaching Aides link, and chuckled. It was exactly what he thought it was.
"Our girls are hot, sexy, and horny," Jimmy read, "But they need to learn how to properly please clients, both male and female! Become one of our in-class demonstration aids, and help our girls learn how to be the heroic sluts they were always meant to
be! Sex will be free during classtime, classes you'll be expected to take part in also include classes in heroics. Hours and pay negotiable, will work with your current job to help provide a workable schedule for you."
So very, very tempting. Which reminded him, though, that he needed to check his OWN job status here. Reaching over and grabbing the phone, he dialed Perry White's office number at the Daily Planet, hoping it was the same. To his relief, it was?
"H-Hello?" Perry said, slightly out of breath. Jimmy smirked to himself, guessing that he was with a Super Hooker when he called.
Jimmy glanced over at the date on his computer, seeing that it was a weekend. "Hey Perry. I just wanted to make sure that I did have the day off, right? 'Cause if you need me, I'll be there. You know that."
He could almost hear Perry rolling his eyes. "Kid, you got work ethic that puts Kent to shame, and more than once I've had to had Lois fuck him unconscious right there in the office to get him to take a day off," he said. "Relax, you've earned this week
vacation. Take advantage of the Freebie List position you've earned. God knows you earned it when you exposed that one senator as a member of the Friends of Humanity."
~So that's what I did to earn it,~ Jimmy thought. He'd never checked his entry, just saw his name. "All right," Jimmy said, grinning. "Give my regards to whomever was giving you a blowjob when I called."
Jimmy heard a woman's voice laughing in the background. Perry chuckled nervously. "Uh... Yeah, see you later."
Jimmy snickered as Perry hung up, shaking his head. "Okay, so I have a week to myself, then," he said. He did some quick checking, seeing that all his bank account numbers were the same, and turned his attention back to the website. He paused briefly,
however, when his mind suddenly started making connections.
Lois Lane is Superwoman on this world.
Married to Clark Kent, like in the other world.
Superman, who always had a distinct interest in Lois Lane's safety. Like Clark.
Clark Kent is Superman.
Jimmy began laughing. "Okay, that explains SO MUCH," he said, sitting down and turning his attention to the website for real this time. He began looking over the links, debating which ones to click first. Feeling more relaxed, though, he knew it wouldn't
matter which link he clicked, as he'd get to see sexy stuff either way. He'd worry about the 'how'd he get here' part later...
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