Arcade. That's who it had to be. Arcade. Magneto had recently employed the lunatic assassin, and this was the sort of thing he'd have sent. Part of a virus, perhaps. Some device attached to the outside of his lair here on the island he was using as a base of operations. Only Arcade would be both so foolish and suicidal... yet also so brilliant and daring.

 

   Magneto smiled, and planed a particularly unpleasant death for the gaudy mister Arcade, but first...to take care of this simple diversion. He understood Arcades mindset rather well, and if there was some sort of 'plan' to this questionnaire 'virus', he knew he'd have to out Arcade Arcade.

 

   Arcade expected an answer. He'd provide two.

 

   Magneto pressed all four at the same time.

 

   There that should...

 

   Music - wild, pulsing and nasty - burst forth from a sound system that hadn't been there before. He winced and shielded his eyes from the flashing of gaudy club lights, and lasers and strobes cut through the darkness, pounding in time with the music. The people...

 

   (People?)

 

   ...who pressed about the dance floor or crowded about his sunken table, were moving to the beat with energy ruled by booze and drugs. Magneto couldn't understand what had...

 

   A dazzlingly busty and beautiful latina undulated against him as she slid into the sunken booth, her cinnamon skin pure and perfect. Her lush lips full and inviting. Her bosoms and bottom were so fat, full, round and bouncy that they had to be fake. The only thing that seemed to detract from her pornstar beauty...was the huge, erect penis that bobbled and bounced as she danced and sang in zesty Spanish. Aside for her obvious penis, she was utterly - even cartoonishly - feminine. A transparent yellow crop top barely covered her huge, fake tits, and black 'X'-shaped pasties both concealed and highlighted her rather large, shot glass-sized nipples. Her hair was a veritable mountain of midnight black cascades and waves.

 

   Magneto glanced down...and saw that he was practically the girl-boys twin! The only real difference was that his-her impossible, fetishized body was pale as milk, while his-her hair was a fountain of sparkling silver. Magneto looked down, saw the transparent crop top of purple...the 'M'-shaped nipple cozies...the huge dick...Magneto thought he-she would faint when a reflected image of his slutty face flashed from a mirror. While his equally outrageous companion wore wild makeup in yellows, blacks and whites, Magnetos own makeup was a mix of purples, silvers and pinks.

 

   "Aye yi yi, Magda...dees place, she ees jumping like a flee een a frying pan." the outlandish latino she-male cried as he-she set down a tray of green-tinted shots. Absinthe? Wait...didn't he love Absinthe? He looked around at the crowds. How many people were here? Hundreds? No...surely thousands. Perhaps even tens of thousands. Magneto felt the magnetic signatures of the island, and noted the hotels...clubs...beaches...docking facilities...jet ports. It was the same once uncharted Atlantic island he'd discovered so many years ago, but now it had been converted into a vast party palace, away from the prying eyes of the world. Here the perverts of the world could gather and indulge their fantasies. Doctors and surgeons who specialized in body modifications remade the curious into whatever they wanted to be. Little was taboo on the island of...of...

 

   Wait. Did this...creature just call him-her 'Magda'? 

 

   "Vas is das..." Magda began in German, before starting again in heavily accented English. "Vat is zis place? Zomethink ees wrong mit zee vorld..."

 

   The bizarre stranger took a shot of tequila, a lime wedge and a salt shaker. "Ju mus' be loco, Magda. You know we run the' bes' club in th' world. The' Island's a place where Mutants are safe an' Humans get all the' fuckin' an' suckin' they want, long as they goats th' money. Eet's what we both wanted when he were jus' boys."

 

   Magneto (well, Magda) gasped and asked "Charles? Ees dot you?"

 

   With a laugh, the she-male downed the drink and cried out "Been a long time since anybody called Carlotta Francesca Xavier-Eisenhardt anyting like 'Charles', Magda." she-he pronounced Xavier as 'HAV-ee-ayr', and the last name...was hers...his...Magneto's.

 

   The cartoonish she-male snatched up the now gold-plated and diamond-encrusted phone on the table before him-her, and saw the questionnaire (which he-she no longer thought had anything to do with Arcade) and saw...

 

   What's your relationship with Professor X? Answer : All chosen. Hot lovers, Devoted spouses and Best Friend Forever who get into mischief as they run their own nightclub.