Wonder Woman put her hands on her hips, leveling an annoyed glare at the little man who stood before her. Mr. Mxyzptlk wasn't one of the most malicious beings she'd known - not by a long shot - but he was definitely one of the most powerful. And probably the most irritating.Idly, she wondered why the Fifth-Dimensional Imp wasn't tormenting his usual target, Superman. No, instead, he'd popped into her way right after she had wrapped up a six-week investigation involving Dr. Psycho and the Silver Swan.
"All right, Mxyzptlk," she said slowly and calmly. "Why are you here?"
The little man didn't reply at first. Instead, he began looking the Amazon up and down slowly, much to Wonder Woman's indignation. She did not appreciate being inspected like a piece of meat by any man, even one with almost-unlimited powers to rewrite reality itself.
Finally, Mxyzptlk spoke. "Yeah, about that... y'see, Wondie... I've been gettin' a little bored lately... and buggin' Supes is startin' to lose that old spark..."
An alarm bell went off in Wonder Woman's head. This was sounding suspiciously like the prelude to another one of Mxyzptlk's "let's change up the formula a bit" jaunts. And those almost always ended up creating far more extensive, humiliating, and outright weird situations than Mxyzptlk's usual clashes with Superman.
"So I said to myself, I really don't spend enough time with Big Blue's buddies. After all, we're the best of pals, so any friend of his is a friend of mine!"
Before Wonder Woman could even open her mouth in protest, her entire body suddenly froze in place. Her beautiful face assumed the look of someone staring far off into space - in other words, a clear indication that no one was home anymore.
"And no friend of Mr. Mxyzptlk deserves ta stay a boring ol' stick-in-the-mud this long! You oughta relax, Wondie! Take a ride on the wild side fer a while!"
Wonder Woman began to shift her stance, holding her head up high and jutting her chest forward proudly. Her legs started to shift by themselves, moving apart until they were a little wider than shoulder width. Her hands, meanwhile, remained on her hips.
"And Old Unca Mxy," Mxyzptlk said proudly, jabbing a thumb at himself. "Is here ta help!"
With that, the Fifth-Dimensional Imp started to look at Wonder Woman much more closely. Frozen like this, every sexy curve of her was on display for his enjoyment - and enjoy it he did. He might not have been a native of this dimension, but "beauty of Aphrodite" wasn't something to sneeze at, even for him.
He drank in her baby blues, so lively and full of energy and so perfectly matched with her ruby red lips. Her long, raven locks were held back by a silver "princess" tiara with a red star in its center, and fell to her mid-back. Further down, her truly awesome breasts and flat, toned abdomen were contained in a red-and-gold bustier, which exposed quite a bit of cleavage and proudly trumped her golden double-W insignia over the center of her chest. A pair of silver bracers - the indestructible Amazon bracelets - encircled her wrists. And a golden belt - the Girdle of Hippolyte - rested on her hips, the legendary Lasso of Truth hanging from its side.
The Imp darted behind the Amazon, and wolf-whistled over her perfect ass, so snugly contained in those blue, star-spangled spandex shorts (to his amusement, he noted that there were two stars right over her butt cheeks). A pair of mile-long legs, muscular yet smooth, jutted from those shorts and extended all the way down into a pair of red boots with nice stiletto heels.
Yes, the combination of all these things certainly made Wonder Woman a wonder among women. Too bad it would all be gone in a few short minutes.
"Now, what makeover should we give ya...?" he mused, pacing back and forth before the frozen, mindless Amazon.
Idea after idea popped into his head, but were rejected almost as fast as they could appear. Flipping her morality was a definite, but what else?
Maybe he could leave everything else the same? No. Too unimaginative.
Turn her into a dominatrix bad-girl? Too juvenile, even for him. Besides, he'd already done that to some other heroine on Tuesday.
Make her fall in love with one of her hated enemies? Maybe...
Suddenly, it came to him in a single, brilliant flash. A flash that literally manifested itself into a massive hundred-megawatt lightbulb over his head.
He turned to the frozen Wonder Woman with a sinister expression. "Since I'm flippin' which side you play on, Wondie... why not flip yer name, too...?"
With that, he snapped his fingers. Almost immediately, the double-W symbol in the center of Wonder Woman's bustier began to spin in place, gaining speed until it became a golden blur. Gradually, the blur began to slow, until it finally stopped in place.
But now, the symbol was a hundred and eighty degrees from where it had started.
"Wonder Woman no more, ladies and germs!" Mxyzptlk crowed. "I give you MM: Mighty Maid!"
Soon, the rest of Wonder Woman's costume began to alter itself, accommodating the heroine's new symbol, new moniker, new identity. The red bustier became a tight black French maid top, displaying much more cleavage than before; below, a short black skirt sprouted, its hemline falling just barely low enough to cover the top few inches of Diana's thighs. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman's star-spangled shorts became a pair of tight, frilly white satin panties; and fishnets criss-crossed the length of her mile-long legs. The heroine's red boots became sexy black pumps, each retaining the stiletto heels.
Wonder Woman's tiara quickly became a frilly mockery of itself, retaining its shape and design but commanding none of the respect. The bulletproof bracers suffered a similar fate, turning into white, frilly French maid gloves. The legendary Girdle of Hippolyte turned into a slim choker around the Amazon's neck; and last, but not least, the golden Lasso of Truth became a feather duster tightly clenched in Wonder Woman's right hand.
Mxyzptlk bowed exaggeratedly - and repeatedly - once the transformation was complete, looking mightily pleased with himself. He had really outdone himself this time.
"And now that the outside's over and done with... let's get started on the inside..."
He whipped a long roll of paper out of thin air, along with a pencil. Immediately, he pressed the pencil's tip to the paper, and began writing:
Mighty Maid: the opposite of Wonder Woman in almost every way. She may dress like a servant, but she serves nothing except her own selfish desires. She's greedy, mean, and flirtatious - especially toward girls.
She's only about half as strong as Wonder Woman was, but twice as fast. She can erase and rearrange the memories and personality of anyone that she "dusts" with her special golden duster. Of course, she likes abusing this power whenever she can, and converting sexy women into her servitude.
She usually enjoys "cleaning" bank vaults and the minds of cute girls, but she does know the ins and outs of actual maid work. There's not a dish on the planet she can't cook, not a garment she can't sew, and not a place she can't clean. But good luck trying to get her to do any of that.
And she likes to speak in an over-exaggerated French accent, too.
His list completed, Mxyzptlk checked it twice. Once he was sure there were no spelling mistakes, he promptly tore the paper into a million itty-bitty pieces.
Then, he took a deep breath, and blew.
The tiny scraps of paper seemed to take on a life of their own, swirling and spinning around Wonder Woman's head. Pressing their circle tighter and tighter as they wove themselves into her mind and soul. Turning Mxyzptlk's words into her law.
Suddenly, there was a great, blinding flash of light. When it had faded, the scraps of paper had completely vanished.
And so had Mxyzptlk.
In a matter of seconds, the tall Amazon left behind began to take a step forward. And then another. And then another and another and another. Her right hand swished the golden feather duster menacingly, while her left clenched itself into a fist.
Mighty Maid threw her head back, and laughed.
XOXOXOXO
A/N: So... quick show of hands... who remembers this Addventure from the old Superstories?
*Chirping crickets*
Well, I do. And a damn good Addventure it was, too. Sadly, since the old Addventures seem to be gone for good (even the Wayback Machine has failed to be of much help), I can no longer access it. So this is my tribute to/reboot of it, written from rough memory but obviously with my own spin on it. May the image of Wonder Woman the evil French maid never fall into oblivion. Viva la revolution!
Will I continue it? That's for you all to decide...