Batman liked to think that he was capable of handling almost any situation that arose. Joker's insane homicidal plots? Sure. Mr. Freeze looking to kill an executive that wronged him? Fine. Poison Ivy brainwashing men into doing her bidding? Must
be Thursday. Waking up with multiple naked, beautiful women in his bed? Unusual for him that he actually took a woman home, but it had happened before. Gotta maintain the "Bruce Wayne is a sleazy playboy and totally not Batman" image somehow.
Having those women be supervillainess?
Yeah, that was new.
Poison Ivy was immediately recognizable. Bright red hair, greenish skin... Plus, her penchant for nudity before this meant he'd seen her naked before. His initial thought was that she had seduced him last night and ended up in bed with him for some nefarious
plot. He certainly didn't remember going to bed with her.
That still didn't explain why Harley, Lady Shiva, Talia, and Catwoman were also in bed with him, draped over him with smiles on their faces.
Batman hesitated, considering the situation. He was naked in bed with five women known for being his enemies. Catwoman he might understand being there. He had thing for her, although he usually suppressed it when he was on the job. Talia MAYBE being
there made sense, as she was Damian's mother (although they had a falling out recently), and she had been in love with him in the past.
Ivy, Harley, and Shiva, though, wanted to kill him. He certainly couldn't see going to bed with one of them, much less all of them at once.
He kept still, glancing to each one's sleeping face. Each one had an expression which Guy Gardner would have called 'well-fucked contentment.' (He still couldn't believe that he had been talked into going to Guy's bachelor party for a fellow Lantern and
watch porno. Well, if nothing else, Superman and Captain Marvel's expressions were priceless when Guy had brought out the 'movies.') Did that mean he had sex with all five women? At once?
The part of Batman's well-trained brain that still thought like the average guy was rather pouty that he couldn't remember doing all of these beauties at once. It was quickly stamped down, however, by the logical part of Batman's mind that was struggling
to come up with a plan.
Well, step one obviously is extracting myself from this admittedly nicer-than-most trap.
Discreetly, showing precise muscle control, he extracted himself from underneath the sleepy, satisfied women. He slowly, carefully, pulled his body out, not disturbing his five apparent lovers. Finally, after twenty minutes, he managed to free himself
from his sexy prison. He looked himself over, noticing wetness on his member.
"So I did have sex with them..." he said softly, frowning. What had happened last night? All he could remember was a surprisingly uneventful day, even the inmates at Arkham behaving themselves. He had chosen to come home and sleep through the night,
much to Alfred's relief.
And now he had apparently had sex with five of his enemies.
Odd.
As the five women unconsciously snuggled up to each other, Harley let out a moaning purr of pleasure, muttering the word "Master..."
About a hundred alarm bells went off in Batman's head. He quickly but quietly went to a hidden closet and pulled out an emergency Batsuit, getting dressed quickly as he went down the hall towards one of the hidden Batcave entrances. It was on the way
there that he encountered Alfred.
"Master Bruce?" the older man said, looking stricken.
"Sssh," Batman said, his voice a low, rasping growl. "Something's very wrong. I woke up with Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Talia, Harley Quinn, and Lady Shiva in my bed, and as I was leaving the room, Harley called me 'Master.' I need to get to the cave and..."
"Oh thank God!" Alfred said, almost sobbing. "I thought I was the only one who remembered the way things were supposed to be?"
More alarm bells went off in Batman's head. "...Alfred? What's wrong?"
"Master Bruce, Jason, Dick, Timothy, Master Damien, Barbara, Stephanie, Cassandra, and Helena are all in the main drawing room having tea with the Joker, Two-Face, Penguin, Riddler, Scarecrow, Mr. Freeze, Bane, Ra's Al Ghul, Hush, Mad Hatter, Firefly, Ventriloquist,
Black Mask, Zsasz, Clayface, Killer Croc, Solomon Grundy, and Copperhead. And nobody's fighting or trying to kill each other. They're all acting as if they've been teammates for years."
"...Odd," Batman managed after a moment. He tried to head for the drawing room, only for Alfred to stop him.
"There's more, sir..." Alfred said, bafflement on his face. "All of the villains I mentioned? Are now women. And believe they've always been women, as well as your sexual servants."
"...What," Batman said. Alfred motioned to the drawing room, Batman cautiously going down the hall. He kept his cape draped around himself, one hand on a batarang just in case this went south. He opened the door to the drawing room... and stared.
Red Hood, Nightwing, Red Robin, Robin, Batgirl, Spoiler, Black Bat, and Huntress were all there, as Alfred said, casually talking with the others in the room. But everyone else...
The villains, his most dangerous villains, had all become beautiful women. Ra's Al Ghul was now a distinguished older woman clad in dark green. Gray streaks marked her hair, which curled up into familiar points, her still-firm breasts held in place by
a black tube top that left her midriff bare. She was giving Damien fencing lessons while Solomon Grundy, a tall, muscular undead woman in the tattered rags the male Solomon wore, watched on, idly playing with the chain dangling from one of her arm cuffs.
Mr... or rather, Mrs. Freeze's armor was now form-fitting, showing off her ample curves while still looking like it actually protected her. Mad Hatter, who now sported a mix of a gothic lolita look in addition to the male Hatter's trademark hat and jacket,
was calmly sipping tea with Hush, who was dressed in the same costume, save that it now showed off her ample curves. Bane had gone from an oversized bruiser of a man to a buff woman with a streamlined Venom rig, her ample cleavage shown off by her top. Riddler
now sported a tank top underneath her trademark green jacket. Firefly, like Freeze, wore a sexier version of her armor. Ventriloquist was now a cute, librarian-esque older woman, Scarface changed to be a sexy female puppet with a bustline practically spilling
out of her top. Penguin had become a rather attractive BBW in a regal suit. Copperhead now sported a revealing outfit that was only loosely snake-themed, leaving her feet bare, a green domino mask around her face. Black Mask's suit and mask the same, save
that the suit now hugged her lush curves. Scarecrow was now a beautiful young woman with a sexier version of her usual costume. Two-Face still had her scars, but they were more streamlined than usual. Zsasz looked the same as always, save that she was now
female and sported a tube-top similar to the one Ra's was wearing. Clayface was now a busty, beautiful tall woman made of clay. Killer Croc was still muscular, but now she looked more like the sexy art one might see on websites such as FurAffinity. And
Joker, the bustiest of the lot, wore a corset over her breasts instead of her usual undershirt.
Once the villainesses turned vixens noticed him, as one they turned to Batman and bowed, saying in perfect unison, "Greetings, Master. Your Arkham Angels are here to serve."
"...WHAT," Batman said, unable to hide his confusion.
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