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Rick Jones, friend to all superheroes, woke up thinking nothing was wrong. He woke up alone, as he had recently broken up with his longtime lover and wife Marlo. He sighed, the handsome youngish man going to make some coffee. He shook his head, musing
on his lot in life, heading over to computer to check the news.
For kicks, he went to the Daily Bugle website to see what new bullshit editorial J. Jonah Jameson was putting out about Spider-Man.
The headline featured an editorial, all right. But it wasn't about Spider-Man.
"Whores or Heroines?"
Rick blinked. He opened the editorial, and to his growing dismay, it made no mention of any of the male superheroes he knew, but instead talked about the fact that the only super-powered beings in the world were superheroines and supervillainesses, only in
this reality all the supervillainesses were heroines. And every single female costumed adventurer on the planet was also a hooker. By choice. Rick, confused, started looking at every record he cound find online.
They mentioned billionare industrialist Tony Stark, but instead of Iron Man, Stark's personal secretary Pepper Potts wore the suit as Iron Maiden. Instead of Spider-Man, whom he knew as Peter Parker, Parker was nothing more than a photographer and the companion
of the symbiotic anti-heroine Venom, also known as Mary-Jane Watson. Reed Richards was nothing more than a normal scientist, with Ben Grimm as a military pilot and Johnny Storm as a hotshot race car driver. The Fantastic Four consisted of the Invisible Woman,
Susan Storm, the She-Hulk, Latin heroine Firebird, and Medusa, Queen of the Inhumans. The X-Men was now the X-Brothel, apparently founded by Madame White, better known as Emma Frost. She and the other women that he knew as female members of the X-Men taught
young mutant women how to be hookers as well as superheroines. The editorial discussed the dichotomy of these superpowered women being negative role-models, as they all seemed to greatly enjoy being hookers, but also the very fact that these women were needed
to stop the evil in the world. It was surprisingly neutral for J. Jonah Jameson.
There were male villains, but they were rare, and unfortunately they were all united in the Masters of Evil, a group consisting of Doctor Doom, the Red Skull, Ultron, the Mandarin, Baron Mordo, Loki, the Kingpin, and a handful of others.
"Geez..." Rick said. He tried accessing his favorite site, Herowatch.com, only to find that the URL didn't exist. He did a search, and found a similar site. Whoreoines.com.
The website had a listing of every heroine on the planet, all in their normal costumes, including a few that Rick had never heard of. Women that were villainesses in the reality he knew were listed on this site, all with real names and complete listings of
powers. Some that had died in another reality, like Dan Ketch's sister Barbara, had taken on the role of their costumed relative, in this case Ghost Rider. Thor had apparently never come to Earth, but Sif had, and Jan Foster wielded his hammer as Thordis.
In fact it seemed that many of the superheroes he'd known were replaced the women in their lives; Karen Page was Daredevil, for instance, while Sharon Carter was Captain America. Even a few prominent female SHIELD agents, including the Countess Valentina and
Maria Hill were listed as hookers on this site.
"That explains why Jonah's not ranting as much..." Rick muttered, clicking through the profiles, all in sensual, inviting poses, "...If I remember right, the only reason he hated Spidey was that he wore a mask and wouldn't reveal, acting as a vigilante..."
Rick shook his head. "I still can't believe this is happening..." he said, "What happened? Did reality change overnight? Did I get shunted to an alternate reality?"
Rick wasn't as rattled by this as most people would be. He had seen a lot in his life, and it took a lot more than a reality shift to mess him up. The problem was, he had no idea how to fix this.
He looked over Whoreoines.com, hoping to find an answer, when he saw a possibility.
The profiles contained the prices each hooker charged (to his dismay he saw that the younger heroines charged less), along with what they liked to do during sex, what they wouldn't do no matter the payment, and whether or not they had k1ds. In addition, he
saw that some of them listed men that they would fuck for free. Only a handful of them had this listing, but still. He saw near the bottom of the screen a link titled 'Freebies.'
He clicked on it, and blushed despite himself.
The page held a sexy picture of Venom, who had morphed the symbiote into a VERY revealing outfit. There was a dialogue box near her that read, "Some of us have guys we like so much that we let them fuck us for free. Like my Petey, for example. But the people
on this page have earned our respect across the board. These people can fuck any of us, in whatever way they want, completely and totally free forever. All they have to do is ask, and we'll drop our panties for them anytime, anywhere, for any reason. Treat
us nice, and you may become part of this exclusive clientelle."
There were five names. The top of the list was Nick Fury. The second name was his own.
Rick swallowed hard. "Okay... Possible advantages of this world have been found..." he said, grinning despite himself. He quickly shook his head before he could get lost in fantasies. "Still... I should probably try and contact this world's Reed... If nothing
else, he might be able to find something."
He clicked through the site randomly, chuckling in amusement at the "No-Sell" link, which was a list of names of clients they wouldn't fuck under any circumstances. The list naturally included the villains, as well as several prominent politicians. The "Sore
Losers" link showed videos of the hooker heroines reading news reports these politicians made that bashed them in a mocking tone of voice.
Rick sighed. "Maybe Doctor Strange... No, wait, he's just a doctor in this reality, the Sorcerer... I guess Sorceress Supreme is Clea..."
A wild thought about going to see Clea anyway popped into his head. He could get a free fuck from her and still get help figuring out what happened.
And to be perfectly honest, there was a tiny part of him that just wanted to go out and see how many of the heroines he had always fantasized about he could get into bed with him before doing anything.
"Decisions decisions..." he said, going over to make breakfast.
Some time later, Rick finished up his eggs as he continued browsing the Internet on his phone, feeling like a kid on Christmas morning.
"Sure, I know this'll probably be some weird or horrible thing but for now . . . why not enjoy myself?"
Endless parades of lewd pictures of some of the hottest heroines he'd ever dreamed of having sex with were popping up on his phone as he searched for them. For instance, there was Valkyre. No superheroine hated men more. He licked his lips as he Googled her
and a shot of the usually stoic, unapproachable beauty popped up - totally half-naked and turned on. The busty Nordic beauty's tits were on full display as she was wearing nothing but a chainmail bikini bottom and a smile, licking her famous spear with a lustful
gleam in her eyes.
"Only accepts payment in gold. Specializes in threesomes." Rick Jones read with a chuckle before saving her number in his phone. This really was a brave new world.
Part of Rick knew he should try to get help immediately but really, what was the harm? There were clearly way fewer supervillains in this world, even if the few that were left had joined forces.
"Hmmm. If it's some kind of reality warping thing, I'll just get someone to help me fix it later, assuming that's even possible. And if I'm stuck in another universe, I can just get Clea or Reed Richards to send me home later . . . "
Refreshing the page on the Fantastic Four, Rick nearly choked on his coffee. The four women were posing up a storm on their homepage.
"Speaking of . . ."
Sue Storm was looking over her shoulder in a sultry way, her hair now much longer. She was also wearing a version the sexy costume she'd worn in the 90's with the "4" shaped cleavage - now improved with a slingshot thong and six-inch heels.
"I never knew she had such a great ass!" Rick murmured, impressed.
Firebird wore red and gold booty shorts with flames down her thighs and a matching tube top, exposing a lot of golden brown skin as she leaned on Sue's shoulder with one hand brushing the blonde's left ass cheek, her long, dark hair hanging down to just above
her own impressive ass. The sexy Latina's nipples dented the clingy spandex tube top and the sultry look she gave the camera could melt pavement.
"Which, y'know, makes sense . . ."
Medusa was, well, naked - except for her hair which she teasingly used to cover herself in the skimpiest of hair bikinis. Tiny tendrils of red teased themselves over the bodies of her fellow Super-Hookers, touching them in very naughty places-
"Super-Hookers. Whoreiones?" Rick wondered aloud before shaking his head and taking in the best of the four - Jennifer Walters.
"Oh. Oh, man!"
This version of Jennifer Walters was wearing the skimpiest Naughty Librarian outfit he'd ever seen. Her wild green hair was up in a bun - with two wild strands dangling over her face and pouty lips - and she wore obviously cosmetic glasses. Those were the only
modest things about her outfit. Her enormous rack swelled out of a purple bra to overflow from her tight business jacket and unbuttoned white blouse.
"Jesus! They look even bigger than usual!" Rick said with awe. "And that's saying something!"
A tiny black skirt barely hit the edges of her impossibly long, muscular green thighs and purple garters snaked over the rest of her long legs. Completely unnecessary purple stiletto heels completed the slutty ensemble.
Clicking on Jennifer's bio yielding one tiny surprise - she was still a lawyer along with being a superheroine and a hooker, albeit one who now pursued the burgeoning legal world of "Legal Prostitution Laws". She'd championed the legality of Nevada's laws until
all of America had followed suit, then celebrated with an orgy at 4 Freedoms Plaza.
Rick Jones licked his lips. He'd always wondered what it would be like to fuck the uninhibited sexy as hell She-Hulk but given his close friendship with Bruce - and the Hulk's protective nature - he had to content himself with his fantasies . . . until now.
(note: This was originally posted on the previous Addventure, by Fanfic Fetishist and Wilder. Reposted with permission.)
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