"Club X - unleash your inner freak" Are you sure this is the place?" asked Kitty Pryde as she gazed up at the sign. Nightcrawler and Colosses nodded and Dazzler layed her hand on Kittys shoulder. "Don't worry, Kitty. We'll find them. All of them."
And with that, the group - all dressed in civilian clothes (which for Nightcrawler meant a trenchcoat, muffler and slouch hat to cover his dietinctive appearance all headed for the door. Kitty was turned away ("Sorry, kid. This is an Adults Only expierence."),
and she did as they'd discussed before. She waited a half an hour, then phased in through the floor into what a map of the place identified as a broom closet. Then, she opened her communicator and said "I'm in, guys. Hey Pete?, Kurt? Allison? Anyone?"
No responce. Kitty Prydes blood turned to ice, and she stepped out of the broom closet and into a darkened hallway. She could hear the sounds of chattering laughter from down the hall. Quiet as a mouse, she drifted in that direction...untill she heard to
sound of Dazzler singing from upstairs. It was a live performance...and it was definatly Allison Blare. She ghosted through the ceiling and gazed up at a statuesque woman...no, wait...a tall man dressed as a woman. He wore Allisons old silvery onepiece with
the exposed arms, bellbottoms and rollerskates, and he was singing (or rather performing) Dazzlers old hit 'Disco Queen' while he danced and skated on stage. His skin was tanned and brown, and his reddish-blond hair was an obvious wig, but...his face...was
so close to Allisons that it was scary. She'd have sworn it WAS Allison Blare, if not for the stronger jaw and cheekbones under the blue 'butterfly' facepaint...the adams apple...the obvious bulge in his croych...the lack of breasts only somewhat made up for
by the costumes built-in falsies. Also, his voice was different. Lower and obviously the voice of a male doing a female impression. And his accent...was lightly hispanic. That's what this was. A hispanic drag queen performing as Allison Blare.
But...but his face was so close...
"Give it up for Alejandro Blanco, the dynamic Dazzler! Give the boy a big hand, people!"
OH...MY...(choke)...GOODNESS!!!
It was Charles Xavier and Eric Magnus who came founcing and wiggling out. Dressed in gaudy, outlandish costumes...towering wigs and plunp, pluss-sized figures...but under all that makeup and glitter, it was them...both of them. She'd know those faces anywhere.
They hugged the Dazzler-impersonator and the hispanic man babbled "Oh, tank you bring me to dis country for to sing for des' peoples..." he gushed in a heavy accent "...all I want do when I perform in tiny club in Tijuana is come to America an' be beeg star...an'
now I am here, weeth all des nice peoples who come to see Alejandro sing an' dance and shake his 'coochie coochie' for dem."
As he talked...Kitty knew it was Allison. Somehow one of their laundry list of reality and/or mind controlling villains (Mojo was a good option, but Mesmerio couldn't be too far behind) had done...something...
Turned some of the X-Men into...Drag Queens? That was a bit odd, wasn't it?
And...it never seemed to stop. She changed positions, and saw from a different angle that another act was coming onto the stage in a blare of early 60's music. A set wheeled seemlessly out and a big, powerful man with red hair styled like Elvis strutted
onto the stage, his leather jacket polished and gleaming. Skin-tight pants flaunting his gigantic cock. A tiny-yet-very-fat girly-boi minced on stage from the other side, chocolate brown hair set in a sculpted bouffant and set with a pink bow, plush body (so
fat he had actual breasts) cuddled in a pink sequined dress lined in pink taffeta. The man with the red hair (oh, my..that was Jean! Though the logo stiched on his leather jacket in red said 'Mean Gene') mimed putting a coin into a jukebox, and the fat girly-boi
spun (nimble little blimp...wearing red, rhinestone-encrusted catseye glasses) and danced over towards him, obviously trying to get him to dance. The former Scott Summers (looking very 'Tracy Turnblad' from 'Hairspray' right now) danced and pranced cutely,
inviting Mean Gene to join him, the music shifting from bouncy to cool as Mean Gene took to the stage, gyrating in vintage Elvis fashion as he danced by himself. Scott (the name 'Slim Summers' was embroidered over his swelling left man-boob) tried to keep
up, but quickly being left out. Finally, Slim summers walked dejectedly back to his side of the set, sadness in everyline of his plump-cheeked and double-chinned face.
Then the music changes...and Mean Gene danced over to Slim Summers and swept the tiny fat-boi off his feet. They they danced, Slim matching Gene move for move and step for step. The music built and swelled, and when it was done, Mean Gene gave Slim a kiss
that sent the girly boi swooning. Out came the Professor and Magneto again, and the tiny Slim (he stood barely as tall as Mean Genes' chest, even in heels) giggled and gushed as the Professor announced "Now I've known these two for years, and I've known this
was comming for a long time...but Gene and Slim were married just today..." the crowd cheered and Slim blushed and giggled) and the duo of Gene and Slim Grey will be entertaining you for years to come."
Mean Gene posed, flexing his muscles. Slim just giggled and bent over, shaking his big butt for the laughter of the crowd. Then Gene goosed the obese girly-boi, and Slim giggled and pressed his tiny-yet-latge body against him.
It...never...stopped...
Another swayed out next, a tall, leggy black man doing a Rupaul impression, along side another man who could have been his physical and spiritual twin save for his white skin and blond hair. They both did the same Rupaul impression, matching the other and
complementing the others act. The black one wore a silvery wig and the white one a matching style in blond. They were billed as "Brownie and Blondie - the Duo Delight", and kitty would have been more entertained if she hadn't been aware that they were actually
Storm and the White Queen.
Then another...an outlandish "Lady Gaga" performance by a blue-skinned, she-male dominatrix in red and black latex...flaunting her huge cock, tail and pointed ears. 'Mistress Nightcrawler' danced and sang while performing accrobatic ballet with her partner...(oh
no)...a tiny boi with big breast implants and plunp buttocks squeezed into a lacy Playboy Bunny outfit in candy pink and baby blue. His blond hair was swept up into a bow and styled like a pair of bunny ears. She was 'Lulu Bunny' and he looked so happy to
be dominated by his 'Mistress' that he almost didn't seem like Wolverine anymore. The fact that their last song was a comical version of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" wasn't lost on her. She was about to phase out of the room...when HE sauntered onto stage.
Kitty was so shocked that she went physical again, stunned at what had been done to the man she loved...he...he?
Big, tall and thickly muscled as ever, he swayed out in a flurry of pink satin along side a dozen smaller men dressed in suits and tophats. The former Peter Rasputan was wearing a long, pink satin strapless dress with matching opera-length gloves, his hair
dyed blond and styled in Marilyn Monroe waves. His face was made up and he dripped with diamond jewelery as he sang that "Daimonds are a Boi's Best Friend". As large as he was, his movements were smooth and perfect...and very feminine. His body waxed and free
of hair...his steps light and easy...he looked happy and blissful as he mock fought off the advances of the top-hatted gentlemen, switching into Madonnas "Living in the Material World" for a beat (to the crowds delight) before going back to the classics, When
he was finished, one of his dancing partners swept a perfect white fur coat about his shoulders, and as he minced off stage he sang out "Oh, Kitty! I hope you come back to me!" before the stage went dark.