Superman Picks His Opponent Battle of the Sexes

THE FOLLOWING STORY IS 100 % TOTALLY FICTIONAL DON'T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY, SUPERMAN COPYRIGHT OWNED BY DC COMICS. BY jj.pp.pp@bigpond.com .IF YOU WISH TO LODGE A COMPLAINT I DO THESE STORIES OUT FUN & OF NO PROFIT TO ME

The E.W.W. chairman convinced the crime fighters & villains to battle of the sexes in the middle of his ring & he has kept his promise that if Barb Wire whom defeated Batman in an epic match helped him to organize more matches he would donate half the gate takings to charity. Superman comes down to the ring to issue his challenge standing in the ring with pride, stature, & head held high is only prepared to participate if he chooses his opponent. Vin McCann the chairman of E.W.W hands Superman the microphone. Superman declares "I'M GOING TO REVEAL MY TRUE IDENTITY LIKE BRUCE WAYNE DID WHEN HE LOST TO BARB WIRE WHOM IS CASING IN ON HER FAME BY THE WAY, THEN I WANT TO FACE THE WOMAN OF MY CHOOSING ON YOUR SHOW NEXT WEEK". 

Vin McCann keen to find out whom it is as Superman replies " I CHOOSE PARIS HILTON SHE CAN'T SING OR ACT OF ANYTHING BUT PARTY SO IF I'M GOING TO NEED TO UNVEIL MY SECRET IDENTITY I CHOOSE HER", as McCann answers back " SUPERMAN I DON'T WISH TO ANNOY YOU BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW YOU COULD TOSS ME MILES AWAY, BUT THE WHOLE IDEA OF THESE MATCHES IS TO PIT SUPERHEROINES VS SUPERHEROS AS WE HAVE FAR TOO MANY & THIS WAY MAY WE FIND OUT THE BEST OF THE BEST". Superman fires back "KNOW LISTEN HERE THE STIPULATION WAS THAT IF WE WANTED TOO WE CAN HAVE OUR TRUE IDENTITIES REVEALED BUT ONLY IF WE CHOOSE SO I HAPPY TO OBLIGE BUT SINCE YOU CAN SWAY ON ONE RULE THEN I DEMAND OTHERS OR I'M OUT OF HERE & YOU LOSE A STAR ATTRACTION FOR YOUR SHOW".

Vin McCann isn't apart to let the weeks & weeks of constant negotiations come to a crash with a draw card like Superman walk away so he promises to allow it if Paris Hilton agrees to the match. Paris Hilton having watched the events unfolded while cruising in her long black stretch limo uses her mobile phone to demand to be put through to the two men in the ring. Vin McCann informs the fans that infact Paris Hilton is on the phone & excepts the challenge & asks to be put on speaker "LISTEN HERE VIN & SUPERMAN I NEED TWO WEEKS TO GET READY I NEED TIME TO PICK OUT AN OUTFIT & I'LL ONLY DO IT IF IT'S YOUR PAY PER VIEW IN TWO WEEKS & NOT YOUR WEEKLY SHOW AS I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO WATCH ME MAKE HISTORY & DEFEAT SUPERMAN & MAKE HIM RETIRE FROM CRIME FIGHTING JUST LIKE BARB WIRE DID TO BATMAN", hearing her remarks Superman & Vin McCann burst out laughing make her angry as they say to her hey what ever Princess you'll shock the world as the match, time & place is agreed upon with no hesitation from either man in the ring as Paris Hilton hangs up on them.

Vin McCann leaves the ring along with Superman to conclude the weekly night show as the fans leave also smirking & laughing that Superman choose Paris Hilton of all opponents so that she can be laughed at by the world. Paris is the focus of the world's attention as every one wants to know how in God's name can she possible defeat the man of steel the protector of the world as she laps it all up seeming to not even be concerned about what she has put herself in for. The two weeks fly by as the main event is coming up shortly as Paris Hilton is informed in her dressing room that the match is up next she begins to get dressed having chosen her outfit clearly she plans on wearing a white spandex tights to show off her rear & shapely thighs & legs with red wrestling boots that come up to below her knees as she puts on her white spandex sports bra then brushes her blond hair having added perfume & red glowing lip stick with white spandex elbow pads to protect her elbows. The crowd is excited at the match coming up as the whole world knows that in only a manner of seconds Superman will win & the show was another excuse for Paris Hilton to grab the spotlight for nothing else then being herself as always.

Superman enter music plays first as she walks to the ring receive overwhelming recognition for his services to the free world but as always there are some whom loath him & hope for miracles that an upset is on the cards the book makers sure as hell hope does as they would be sent to the wall once the match concluded as they have only offered odd of $1.01 cent on return as the punters want to back Superman in wagering millions & millions of dough as to the outcome of the match to the point that they have take all bets especially those stupid enough to bet on Paris Hilton mug partners as they'll lose the business anyway if the bookmakers refuse the Superman bets. Superman as always is standing strong, chest out pumped & with pride in his heart & soul as he loosens up showing the world the determination he is carrying into the match but the moment he hears the music of her long time friend Britney Spears blaring out "WHOOPS I DID IT AGAIN" he & the crowd are in raptures as Paris Hilton makes her way to the ring not displaying an ounce of emotions as she shows the world that although a trillion to one shot anything can happen.

Paris HIlton enters the ring taking off her robe to show the paparazzi ring side snapping away her outfit as she parades around the ring winking at the fans which seems to have given her some fans but not too many at all as Superman asks for the microphone "UNLESS YOU HAVE KRYPTONITE ON YOU I GUESS WE END THIS QUICKLY WHY DON'T YOU JUST LAY DOWN ON THE MAT & LET THE REFEREE COMPLETE THE FORMALITIES". This folks is a bigger shock then having witnessed all these superhero's & supervillians emerge out into the open how can this be happening. Paris seems to be teasing Superman whom is impressed with her chosen wrestling attire which she happily informs him whilst they seize each other up is being modeled by her for the designer. Superman tells Paris Hilton "I'LL GIVE YOU A SPORTING CHANCE I'LL START WITH MY SHOULDERS ON THE MAT SO THAT HE CAN START FROM A PINING POSITION IN THE CONTEST"  as the crowd agrees by their cheering to the sporting gesture. Superman lies on his back having taken his cape off as Paris Hilton sits on Superman's chest the crowd whistling & snickering remarks not fazing her on bit infact she seems to be taking it as a complement whilst taking off shiver waist belt she places it around Superman neck whose looking around the crowd joining in their laughter as he sense something wrong he looks concerned as Paris Hilton raises off his chest to stand away from hi motioning come on bring it as Superman is angry to have been tricked as the necklace has Kryptonite on it & is making him weak as Paris headlocks Superman in the middle of the ring as she glares at the crowd asking them "WHAT'S WRONG WHY HAVE YOU ALL GONE QUITE SOMETHING THE MATTER " as Superman struggles in her seemingly simple head lock as he drops to one knee.

Paris Hilton lets Superman fall down then she stalks the man of steel desperately trying to remove the necklace from his neck as she boot stomps his chest 1,2,3,4,5,6, times as she places Superman in a all fours position to reverse head scissors him to the point that Superman is looking like he is going to pass out but she stops as Superman drops to the canvass gasping for air top as well as his strength being eroded form the Kryptonite necklace as Paris Hilton in all white spandex outfit with red boots pulls up Superman to place the man of steel in a bear hug that's right folks the man of steel is at the mercy of Paris Hilton as his arms drop by his sides as she makes Superman fade as the world undoubtablely shocked with the events that the packed stadium is hushed so quietly you could hear a bin drop but instead all the audience is witnessing is the end of Superman at the hands of Paris Hilton whose claim to fame should she prevail propel her into the history books & proclaim her an icon. The crowd are starting to cheer for Paris Hilton as some of them feel empathy for the way Paris Hilton has been portrayed as & they are willing her own as the chanting is starting to echo through the arena with name like the sence out of ROCKY IV.

Paris Hilton lets Superman get up to off the ropes she clothes lines him so hard he hits the canvass like a tone of bricks, as she off the top turnbuckle leaps into the air to swan dive splash across Superman chest as she gets up to kneel with her hands on her hips making Superman thrash about as Paris Hilton walks off to blow kisses to her come around fans chanting her name as she places her hand to her ear motioning I can't hear you as they get louder with each speechless exchange as Superman manages to get the necklace off as he staggers to his feet to clothes line nail her to the face knocking her to the ground as he kicks the neck lace away as he feels his strength returning with each clinched fist motion as Paris Hilton gets to her feet to off the ropes spear him almost out of his boots as she follow sit up by atomic leg dropping him across the chest as he gets up quicker then Paris Hilton to motion to her come to pupa. Paris Hilton gets whipped to the turn buckle & almost receives whiplash from the jolt of hitting it. Paris Hilton slowly gets up as Superman stalks her now the rolls reversed as he waits as the crowd can't believe that he is toying with her he places her in a bear hug making her frantically thrash around but not crashing her as to play with her like a cat playing with a mouse.

Superman lets Paris Hilton fall to the canvass holding her lower back as he watches Paris Hilton use the ropes to pull herself up as he is captivated by her rear staring at it almost in a trance as he doesn't even notice Paris Hilton having picked up the necklace wrap it around her wrist as Superman walks up behind her to tap her on the shoulder to watch her spin around & drill a right fist to his nose as Superman doesn't flinch one bit as he tells her it doesn't work that quickly, as Paris Hilton sinks to her knees from her ringing hand. Superman watches Paris Hilton using the ropes to drag herself to her feet meanwhile Superman can't help but stare at her rear end nodding his approval as she uses the opportunity to place the necklace around his neck once again then Paris Hilton gives Superman a peck on the lips as she shoves him to the canvass like a tree coming down crashing to the ground. Paris Hilton places herself in a crossways positions to place a scissors lock on his six pack as Superman has to not only contend with trying to get his neck lace off but also having his midriff crushed Paris Hilton twirling her hair as she ways to the paparazzi to take picture after picture of the moment.

Superman is asked by Paris Hilton whom has he white spandex tights wrapped around his midriff tease Superman "YOU GIVE YOU WILLING TO TELL THE WORLD YOUR REAL NAME BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT I WANT YOU TO RETIRE", as an enraged Superman thrashes about more then ever but only adding to Paris Hilton's smile of contempt of even if she loses that Superman hasn't had it all his own way as Superman stops trying to take the necklace off & is trying to prey open the scissors hold as she moves the hold to his chest area as he gasps for air. Paris Hilton eases up to climb to the top turnbuckle pad that ask the paparazzi "YOU READY BOYS "as she superbly splashes down on him making a huge impact as Superman starts moving around as Paris Hilton sits up Superman to place him in a reverse chin lock making him suffer as she releases him as Paris Hilton pulls him up to wind up as she sweet chin music kicks Superman's head off almost into the crowd as he lands on the canvass sprawled out with a bugle appearing for the first time in his trunks as Paris Hilton efforts have aroused him as she notices it too she points at it for the pictures to be taken as she then pulls him up again as Paris Hilton takes the necklace off to toss it away so that she can scope him up to pile drive him then pin his shoulders to the mat before he recovers 1,2 as he kicks her off the crowd disappointed that she has allowed the chance to slip by as Superman grabs Paris Hilton trying to go for the neck lace by her leg as she slips through his fingers she grabs it as he dives on top of her trying to place the necklace but this time Superman stops her doing it as his strength is too much for her as he removes the necklace out of her hands to toss it away before it's effects resurface on him again he helps Paris Hilton to her feet by her hand in a gentlemen manner then places Paris Hilton in a torture rack this time making the punishment more painfully then his bear hug as he is fed up with toying with her as Paris Hilton refuses to yield to him he tosses her to the canvass after he refusal to submit.

Superman tells the paparazzi to click this as he places one boot on her chest as the 1,2 count she lifts her right shoulder not willing to end the fight.

Superman is bitterly disappointment showing his displeasure at Paris Hilton reluctance to give up so he decides to place her in a camel clutch as Nicky Hilton gets out of her ring seat by the announce table pleading with her sister clearly for the world to hear that the world respects her for the contest & smarts she has shown as the match has progressed as he makes her scream as he did in her scissors lock as he hears her yell out no way as Nicky Hilton grabs the necklace to toss it beside them as the Kryptonite is making Superman camel clutch weaken but he is determined to end the match before it weakens him. Paris Hilton hearing the crowd chanting her name " PARIS, PARIS , PARIS " she begins to feels the adrenlium pumping through her veins has she has never felt this kind of respect from the public before as she not only is getting out of the hold but she stands up with Superman clinging to her like a sleeper hold piggy back move. Paris Hilton snapmares Superman to the canvass as she pulls him up to place Superman in a torture rack while placing the necklace around her neck realizing it has just the same effect as Superman limp body is showing signs of surrender as Paris Hilton dumps Superman to the canvass with a death valley driver as a fired up Paris Hilton full of energy pins Superman to the mat the referee counts 1,2,3, it's over Paris Hilton has shocked the world & made history by putting Superman on retirement list ending his fabulous career.

The crowd has erupted into sences similar to bull fighting as Paris Hilton laps it up then asks for the microphone "I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR COMING TO WITNESS MY VICTORY TO YOU ALL AS A GIFT & THE DECLARATION THAT I HAVE YOUR RESPECT FOR EVER NOW & TO SUPERMAN YOU ARE A WORTHY OPPONENT BUT UNFORTUNATELY YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BEAT ME SO DWELL ON THAT AS THE MEDICOS ASSIST YOU OUT OF THE RING" as the fans head off & a collective shy of relief has decent upon the bookmakers having made a killing on the bets as millions & millions was wagered on Superman with punters losing heaps man. Paris Hilton returns to her dressing room tired & sore as the match has taken it's toll on her fragile build but nonetheless she is delighted to have created the upset of the HISTORY as the paparazzi are begging Paris Hilton to come out of her dressing room so that they can snap pictures of her as her value has just sky rocketed. Paris Hilton showers then gets dressed in a sexy outfit she choose for her victory emergence at the conclusion of the pay per view a glamorous Red evening gown dress matching her make up & red lip stick as she will never be taken for granted again. Paris Hilton is given the red carpet treatment to her limo parked out the front so that the world can take pictures as Superman having recovered from the battle & regained his strength kneels before Paris Hilton telling her "YOU ARE WORTHY OF WEARING MY CAPE AS I OFFER YOU THIS AS A GESTURE OF YOU DEFEATING ME WITH NO EXCUSE" as Paris Hilton excepts the token gesture then tells Superman to kiss her hand so that more pictures are taken of her triumphant victory as she climbs into her limo & heads off to celebrate leaving a kneeling Superman in tears at his retirement.

THE END.