Supergirl Invictus - A Resurrection Comedy - Chapter 5 : Zatanna the Vampire Rectifier

"Zatanna please I..."

Deftly the girl magician reached into her manager's breast pocket and pulled out a deck of cards...She expertly shuffled the deck and switched them from one hand to another.

Zatanna had the life, a sorceress of noted ability, a master of sleight of hand trickery, she lived in a luxurious mansion and in a week she'd star in her own live "reality TV" special on the WB.

For prospects like that, you'd better practice...and so we find her in top hat, fishnet nylons and tails, pulling decks of cards out her manager's sleeves and switching his necktie around.... simple stuff really for the experienced magician.

"Zat sweetie this is all primo stuff, but why don't you just murmur an incantation and make an elephant disappear or something?" probed Jeff her handsome much put upon manager.

"Oh Jeff...magic is easy, sleight of hand is hard!" Zatanna punctuated this by tossing a deck of cards in the air, which vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Darling you make everything look easy" grumbled Jeff good-naturedly.

"Did I thank you for lining up this WB gig?"

"Yes, yes you did"

"Well let me thank you again!" Here the Girl Magician planted a kiss on Jeff's cheek.

"Awww" Jeff blushed.

A beeping was suddenly heard.

Zatanna deftly flipped her topper from off her head and rummaged around inside...she drew out a tiny electronic disk.

"It's my JLA signaler...haven't used it in a while...but this code it's old

geez who is SG1?"

Zatanna looked of confusion melted into a visage of sheer unadulterated joy.

"SUPERGIRL ! YES! Kara is back!!!"

Zatanna flipped her hat back onto her head "Jeff gotta run an errand-be a love and order yourself some dinner I might be gone a while."

The sorceress stepped back melodramatically and shouted

"ekat em ot lrigrepus!"

She then vanished in a proverbial puff of smoke.

Jeff her manager watched this and sighed...he hoped Supergirl wouldn't get into any trouble while Zatanna was mesmerizing the masses on the WB.

***

Promptly the magic maid appeared in the Carpathian castle.

A wide grin split her pretty face "Supergirl sweetie, how are you?"

The two heroines embraced easily...they were old friends after all.

"Oh fine...I've got this weird vampire problem though" responded the Girl of Steel.

They separated and Zatanna gave the fallen villain the old magical once over.

"Vampire problem-aw Kara give me challenge whydoncha?" taunted the magician.

You know how it is with me, I can't kill him even if he is undead"...

"Well of course not...and that is what we like about you Kara it's your incorruptibility!" said Zatanna.

"So this was what Luthor was up to eh? -I had a feeling he always came across as pre-programmed on TV...well send a robot to a politician's job and like that" murmured the sorceress.

Deftly Zatanna pulled down Luthor's collar and muttered He's got all the vampiric attributes plus the unusual mind control power over virgin females" Zatanna was talking to herself at this point, Supergirl put her hands behind her back and her dewy cheeks flared red.

"Hmmmm...no incisor scars so he must've been sired by some accursed agency..." Zatanna began unbuttoning the unconscious vampire's shirt.

Supergirl looked on with interest..."Ah...accursed agency?"

"Yeah some object or third party put the curse of vampirism on him...undoubtedly with his own connivance. That's the good news it means de-vamping him will be easy".

"Easy?"

"Yeah no virgin's blood or anything to break the spell...that'll be hard to come by with us two on the job" the sorceress giggled as she pawed through her captive's pockets.

"Yeah...virgin's blood h-hard to come...by" murmured Supergirl who blushed and looked at her boots.

"YUP!" cried Zatanna "Here we go" she pulled a heavy medallion from out of Luthor's shirtfront.

It was a ghastly thing, with a nasty looking wolf seal on the front and a death's head on the back.

"What is it?" asked Kara the mere sight of that thing made her flesh crawl.

The maid of magic closed her eyes and whispered a quick incantation, the medallion glowed briefly and then the light died off.

Kara was utterly perplexed; sorcery was never her strong suite.

"Uh Zatanna...?" she began tentatively.

"Dracula's medallion, oldest trick in the book, as Van Helsing closed in back in 1899

Count Dracula cursed certain of his own possessions...anyone who found them who had an evil enough nature would receive the gift of his vampirism!" recited Zatanna.

"Well how do we de-vamp him then?"

"Simple just destroy the medallion the curse is lifted" said Zatanna.

Obligingly Zatanna held the medallion out at arms length...whereupon

Supergirl blasted it into atoms with her heat vision.

Supergirl smiled as Zatanna bent over and examined Luthor's mouth..."the canine incisors are gone...yup we devamped him alright!"

"Zatanna thanks... I owe you one"

"Don't mention it Kara we have got to team-up one of these days!"

"Definitely!" affirmed the Maid of Might.

"Say, would you ever like to appear with me on my TV special next week? ...I'll pull a rabbit out of your cape!"

"Oh Zatanna I'd love to...but if I show up on your show people will think I'm using my powers to surreptitiously aid you!"

Zatanna thought for a moment "Hmmm you are right...but I don't suppose you'd ever fly me to the stage just as a starter?"

"Of course nothing simpler!" said Supergirl.

"Sweetie it is so good to have you back!"

Supergirl blushed again...she had a shy streak when it came to praise.

Meanwhile...down on the floor, Luthor stirred.

He couldn't hear it.

The wolf howl of his own infected blood.

That pesky blonde teenybopper had lifted the gift of vampirism from him!

He'd get Supergirl for that, if it were the last thing he'd do.

But not tonight...un-vamped as he was Lex was no match for Supergirl.

He had to escape-and plan!

Lex betrayed nothing, his eyes didn't quiver...he could hear that mountebank Zatanna and

Superbrat about who-was-dating-who on the heroine set.

He'd die of sheer ennui listening to those two prattle on!

If their backs were turned...then the day was his!

Slowly Luthor worked his hand into the folds of his long scarlet trimmed ermine cape.

He searched for a secret pouch...the one with a nice warm living in-between virgins snack in it.

Ah, he could feel it.... slowly ever so slowly he withdrew the soft and oh so alive little mouse.

"Go Attila, go and all stereotypes defend you" exulted Luthor inwardly.

He released the mouse; so far Zatanna and Supergirl still had their backs turned.

"Oh and there is this new Batgirl too...she is really lame though..." said Zatanna

"Really? Gee I wonder what Ba-er-Our Batgirl will do about that?" wondered Kara, ever mindful of her friend's secret identity.

"Oh I can imagine," giggled the magicianess.

By now the two heroines had absent-mindedly walked away such that the coffin now stood between them and the now awake Lex Luthor.

Zatanna heard a tiny peeping sound...she glanced at the floor and saw it immediately, the white whiskers the beady little red eyes...it was...

"EEEEKKKKKK! A MOUSE!" Howled Zatanna.

"What huh?" Supergirl looked around wildly, the mouse scampered between her red booted feet.

Zatanna was up on a nearby chair half crouched in raw terror "No-no no! He's behind you take him away take him a-wa-ay! She howled.

Kara spun and dove clumsily at the mouse, she just couldn't believe her old friend was actually afraid of a timid charming creature like a mouse.

The Maid of Might landed prone on the floor with the mouse just missing her desperate grasp.

"This is embarrassing" she thought "some Supergirl I am not even back five hours and mice are now evading me with ease!"

But of course the reason for this is simple, Supergirl had a streak of indulgence when it comes to animals, especially small helpless ones.

"D-did you get it?" quavered a panic stricken Zatanna "It looked right at me-ee!!!"

"Almost" gritted the Maid of Might, she actually crawled around the coffin on its bier.

Zatanna began sobbing.

The mouse scuttled back into Luthor's ermine cape.

Luthor's empty ermine cape!....Supergirl looked up from her position on all fours and there was Lex Luthor, now sitting on the throne.

"Down on your knees-that's just how I like you" he sneered.

"Okay Lex I'm not playing around anymore!" Supergirl launched herself into the air like a cannonball straight at Luthor's throne.

Only to see the villain simply fade from view entirely.

"A space time-demat device YEOOOWWW!" squeaked the Princess of Power.

Alas our heroine couldn't arrest her speed and crashed through the throne and dented the wall behind quite nicely.

She was upside down too...her skirt flopped down briefly exposing her blue lollipop panties.

"Did you get the mouse!?" whined Zatanna.

Plaster rained down on Supergirl. She blew an errant lock of blonde hair out of her eyes...

"Almost...gimme a second here...."

***

"We lost Luthor, Supergirl I am sorry, it's just I really-really hate mice!"

"Zatanna you de-vamped Luthor, he's lost his control of the US Government...I'll catch up to him never fear"...the mouse was now happily crawling up and down Supergirl's arm. She smiled at the droll creature and petted it gently.

Zatanna was seated with a cold compress on her head.

"And I've could've made the mouse disappear or even frozen Luthor but.... oh that awful thing looked at me and auugh!!" said the Sorceress with a shudder.

"Luthor is always escaping-it's no biggie."

"Well listen we need to team up more often" offered Zatanna.

"Everyone is saying that to me" laughed Kara.

"No I mean it...you know you me Batgirl and some of the other unaffiliated crime fighting women out there ought to start our own team!" Zatanna was warming to her topic.

"It's an idea" mused Kara.

"Think about it-listen I have to run, remember Times Square next Wednesday night at

7:59pm-sharp!"

"I won't forget Zatanna" Kara waved.

"Good-lets do it up big, and think about that all girl team idea-EKAT EM EMOH!" shouted the Magic Maid, who once again, vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Yeah we can call ourselves the anti-mouse femmes!" giggled the Maid of Might.

Another interregnum in which the author indulges in literary payback of a gross and unwarranted nature:

"Well my tiny friend, I'd love to take you home but Streaky the semi-super cat might make a feast of you" remarked Supergirl.

Her mouse minded this not a whit and twitched his whiskers adorably.

"I guess I'll just release you outside and be on my way..."

Suddenly the door flew open, a pretty blonde girl marched in wearing a micro-miniskirt and platform sandals; she was carrying a stake and had a determined look in her eye.

A petite red haired girl, an older man, and a handsome young fellow with a slight hangdog look followed her.

"Give it up Draculex, this vamps-in-politics act ends to-night..." the blonde girl's voice trailed off and she looked confused.

Supergirl gave this crew a smirking once over.

The blonde girl suddenly turned pale...she dropped her stake.

"Well well well...we meet at last!" sneered Supergirl.

"Don't kill us" whined the red haired girl.

"Hey Buff you said she was dead!" taunted the young fellow.

"Er quite!" said the older man.

"No I am not dead, I am forever!" said Supergirl with some heat.

The Blonde Girl started sobbing.

"We're s-sorry-you were dead I read it in a comic!!!" she blubbered.

Kara walked over to the crying girl.

"You are me!" she tapped her on the head.

"You are Lena Thorul" here she tapped the red haired girl on the head.

"You are so totally Dick Malverne it's not funny" she said to the young man.

"W-what about me?" Said the older man in a pronounced English accent.

Supergirl made a face "Zor El-maybe!"

Supergirl turned to this quartet and said "I'm back now...so stick to vampires and werewolves and if I catch YOU in a cape blondie I'll show you a whole new order of slaying!"

And without another word Supergirl stepped lightly into the air and flew off towards

America.

"B-Buff...what just happened" asked the young man.

"We've been outed!!" sobbed the blonde.

"Jinkies!" wailed the redhead.