April Fools Joke Gone Bad! - 2005 Kryptonian Kalamity

The following story contains characters owned by DC Comics/Warner Bros.   It is written as a fanfic parody story not intended to make any use of  actual story lines in published books.  The story is purely for fun,  with no profit to be made by the author.  It is free to be archived on  any site wishing to do so, provided the author is given proper credit.

I would really love to hear any comments you'd like to send me.  Thanks,  and I hope you enjoy it!

April Fools Joke Gone Bad! - 2005 Kryptonian Kalamity

By Steve Zink

It was a big surprise to the Man of Steel when he checked out the  rocket his super vision had spotted arrowing down out of the sky.   When he arrived at its impact point, there was earth and rocks thrown  all about, but no sign of damage to the rocket.  It didn't take long  to find out why it had incurred no damage.  A door popped open, and  out flew a young girl with short, golden blonde hair and a costume  apparently based on his own in design but with a knee length skirt  instead of pants.  "Hi, cousin Kal!" she said with a bubbly voice.

"Cousin Kal?" Superman replied, and after the two sat down she told  him the story of her own survival of Krypton's demise.  A huge chunk  of the planet had stayed together during and after the explosion,  and a dome was built to cover the city on this chunk.  To protect  the occupants from the now deadly Kryptonite the chunk they were on  had become, they covered the entire surface under the dome with a  Kryptonian metal with similar properties to lead - it blocked the  rays from the deadly Kryptonite.  Kara Zor-El had been born ten years  after the planet's demise, and grew up listening to the tales of her  cousin who had rocketed to the planet Earth as an infant just before  Krypton exploded.  When it was discovered that the protection under  their feet was deteriorating, a decision was made to send Kara to  join her cousin.

"Your parents and others in Argo City were able to see me here on  Earth?" he asked.

Kara nodded, saying, "Oh, yes!  The telescopes of Krypton were able  to see across the galaxies to your new home here on Earth."

The young teen was then tested quickly by her cousin to check if she  had acquired the same powers he did thanks to being on Earth under  the yellow sun.  He wasn't terribly surprised, but she was ecstatic  to find that she had all the same powers he did.  "Wow!  This means  I can be Supergirl and help you, Cousin!"

Now having to act more like a surrogate father, Superman brought  the young lady back to her senses quickly.  "Maybe someday, but you  will have to spend a few years learning just how to use your powers  properly before you can become Supergirl.  We'll have to get you set  up with a secret identity so you can live here without gathering  attention."

"Oh, you mean like the way you turn into Clark Kent when you're not  in your power suit?"

"Exactly," he answered.  "And please, don't be using my names while  talking with anyone until we're both sure you are all set to go into  action, Kara.  I have to protect my secret identity, just as I'm  betting you will have to start protecting your own."

The young girl was given the Earth name of Linda for her cover, and  was adopted from the orphanage in no time by the Danvers family.   While going to school and doing all the other fun things teenage  Earth girls did, Supergirl also went out on occasion to do super  deeds and get the experience her cousin wanted.  She even went out  on missions to faraway galaxies alongside Superman, gaining a feel  for the interstellar travel.  She was more than surprised when on  one of these trips her cousin told her about time travel.  But he  told her that until she was proven, there was no way she was to do  so on her own.

Shortly after she turned sixteen, Supergirl was on a mission with  Superman that ended with her exposure to the press, and so the  world found out about the 'new' Supergirl.  He figured she did  have enough experience by now, and so felt the time was right  anyway.  Besides helping Superman with his own battles, Supergirl  also joined with him and other members of the Justice League of  America to fight off various villains along with assisting with  natural disasters.  She also graduated to doing her own time  travel trips, and discovered just how much fun her cousin had  experienced while doing so.  The far reaches of the universe and  times both in the past and far into the future became known to her.

By the time Supergirl had gotten to her late teens, her cousin had  noted that she seemed to be too serious and self-conscious.  The  Man of Steel knew that Kara had become eminently familiar with the  Earth custom of April Fools Day thanks to high jinx at her school,  and so as the end of March drew near, he figured it was time to  play an adult April Fools joke on her.  There was a piece of Red-K  amongst his collection in the Fortress of Solitude which would  turn a Kryptonian from a serious person into a prankster; he had  experienced just that personality alteration for the 48-hour life  of the Red-Kryptonite change back when he himself was a teen.  So,  Superman figured giving his younger cousin a change via the Red-K  early on the 1st would give her new outlooks and maybe loosen her  up afterward.

Superman contacted Supergirl after checking three possible locations,  and asked her to come see him at the Fortress.  He knew by the time  she got there it would be just after midnight Metropolis time, and  so the time would be right for his April Fools Joke.  He made sure  to avoid exposing himself to the Red-K sample, and placed the lead  box just inside the entry to the Fortress.  After he went back to  the living area, Superman activated one of his robots to go to the  box and open it up.  It also set a sign next to the box saying,  April Fools!  As soon as Kara flew in, she'd be exposed and see the  sign.

Sure enough, it was only a few minutes later that Supergirl utilized  the big key to open the door to the Fortress of Solitude high in the  Arctic wastes.  As soon as the door was open, her body was bathed by  the radiation from the Red-Kryptonite.  Almost instantly her mind  was altered from being safe and sane to being wild and reckless.   She saw the sign which had to have been left by her cousin, and  thought, 'April Fools, eh, Cousin?  I'll give you April Fools!'

Instead of immediately flying into the living areas of the Fortress  as Kal had expected, Kara flew right back out of the doorway and  zoomed into outer space.  In the process, she went not only light  years away but also to a time in the future she had once visited.   A museum in the 30th Century Earth of the Legion of Superheroes had  a collection of all sorts of Kryptonite which had been collected by  the Superman Family over the years.  There was one piece in particular  Supergirl doubted her cousin knew about, since there was no record of  him ever visiting the collection during his own trips to the LSH.   She knew this particular piece of Kryptonite could not affect her,  since she was already female.  But boy would it ever have an effect  on her cousin!

For the trip back, Supergirl placed the glowing red rock into a large  lead box.  That way her cousin wouldn't be able to see her own April  Fools joke until it was way too late.  Experience had given Kara the  ability to time travel back to the exact time at which she had  departed, and so it was that just when he had expected, Superman saw  his cousin fly into his living area.  He noted the box in her hands,  but knew it was different from his own and so took no alarm.  He did  make note of the gleeful expression on her face, though.  So for the  next 48 hours, Supergirl would be a fun loving prankster. 

What he failed to see was the almost evil look in Kara's eyes.  She  walked up to her cousin and said, "Thanks for the April Fools joke,  Kal.  I just love the way I feel now.  And in return, April Fools  yourself!"  She opened the box right under her cousin's chin, and  radiation started affecting his body immediately.  Short black hair  became platinum blonde and falling past the shoulders which already  looked much less muscular.  His masculine to the Nth degree face  turned into that of a gorgeous babe.  Likewise, as his waist shrank  and his ass and hips expanded into a figure a model would die for,  his chest expanded inside the blue costume until the gold and red  S shield resided atop two humongous breasts.  By now HER legs had  turned into ones making Kara's own look scrawny, and the red boots  on her feet became much smaller; it seemed a good thing the costume  was made of such a material that it handled all the changes to her  cousin's body.

The new girl backed away from Supergirl, and exclaimed, "Great Guns!   Supergirl!  What are you doing to me?"

With a now almost wicked grin on her face, Supergirl told her, "I'm  exposing you to Red Bimboite, Superman!  And soon, you'll be exposing  yourself!"

Without any control, the now Superbimbo took her dainty hands and  cupped the massive breasts on her chest.  Then her fingers, which she  discovered to have long, pointed fingernails, pinched the nipples  atop each mound.  Excitements totally foreign to her but rapidly  becoming accepted made her crotch tingle.  Supergirl watched in  glee.  "Yes, this is your new future, Cousin.  You figured you  could pull an April Fools joke on me?  Well, I hope you like the  results of MY April Fools joke on you!  Have fun explaining why  Clark Kent isn't around anymore, and...just in case you want some  help in adapting to your new life as a bimbo before going out into  the world, I'm willing to give you some training."

And so it came to be that the world soon saw not one Supergirl but  two, with one seeming to be a super bimbo and the other her level  headed partner.  The short haired one seemed to have lots of  difficulty in controlling the sexual abandon of her long haired  partner.  The short haired one, who by the way lost her prankster  personality as predicted but still enjoyed seeing her new female  cousin going through her problems, let the world know that Superman  would no longer be around.  She told them that she hoped Superbimbo  would do okay in taking his place.  No explanation was ever given  as to why The Man of Steel was no longer around.  It just became  accepted that something had happened to him.  Something they couldn't  imagine, which had turned him into The Babe of Brawn, as she liked  to call herself.

Needless to say, things changed quite a bit in the JLA...  

Thanks a lot for the fun Red Bimboite pic, Tebra!