Spider-Man swung into the Baxter Building and landed on a platform where the Thing was waiting for him. His head buzzed, like his spider-sense was screaming at him.
"Glad you're here, web-head," Ben rumbled. "Somethin's gone all weird... I mean, this whole weddin' was already weird, but now..."
"What do you mean, Ben?" Spider-Man asked. The Thing shook his head.
"Suzie's gone crazy! I mean, she'll always be part o' the family 'n all, but have ya seen the guest list?"
"No, what do you mean?" Peter felt a little worried now. He had an experiment at Dr. Connors's lab he had to watch for a while and he couldn't attend, so Mary-Jane had gone in his place.
"This place is crawlin' with bad guys!" Ben exclaimed, leading the way down the hall. He kept glancing around corners as if he was expecting an ambush. "Dr. Doom, the Wizard, Kang... Heck, even the Serpent Society!"
"That explains the migraine," Spidey quipped as he followed behind, rubbing his temples. "We'd better alert the-- huh?"
A door swooshed open and the two heroes came face-to-face... or rather, face-to-navel with a pair of massive emerald-skinned figures wearing purple and gold purple capes and skintight headwear, with breasts riding high on their oiled, muscled chests, their nipples barely held in the tight bands of fabric. Glancing down, Ben and Peter saw their crotches bulging obscenely with throbbing masculine meat.
"Ah, Ben," one of the shemales said with a grin. "We were just looking for you."
"What the... Jen?"
"It's 'Jem-Drax', you walking turd," she snarled. Her companion smiled. The two were virtually identical, save that Gam-Drax still wore her Zen-Whoberian eye makeup.
"And you brought a friend," Gam-Drax added. "How lucky... for us!" The two of them pounced.
***
Meanwhile, the next guest appeared before Moondragon and Malice in a puff of smoke. It was a tall, beautiful woman wearing a skintight gown slit to the hip of some shimmery, translucent green material. Her feet were shod in golden slippers, raven-black hair cascaded down her back and she had a haughty look on her exotic, beautiful face. She watched with curiosity and delight as the Mandarin's boi-bride signed away his life to his new husband.
"Ah, Umar," Moondragon smiled as the ebon-tressed sorceress kissed her and Malice's outstreched hands. "You honour us with your presence."
"Thank you, Madame MacEvil," Umar said graciously, an envious twinkle in her eye. "It warms my black heart to see two such evil sirens in love. I have a boon to ask of you."
"Name it," Malice purred, casually releasing a plume of smoke. Umar nodded and gestured, shaping the smoke into a face: the careworn, yet noble visage of Dr. Stephen Strange.
"The Sorcerer Supreme has been a thorn in my side for many years," Umar said. "I would have him under my thrall, but my magic can only do so much. I would need the aid of one who can shape bands of force to bind him... and one who can cloud and control minds."
"Hmmm, intriguing..." The two brides nodded at each other, communing silently. "Very well. Bring him to us and we shall see."
Umar began her spell. From across the aether, Stephen Strange felt the arcane summons... and was unprepared for its pull! He appeared in the room, stumbling as if he'd taken a blow to the head.
"By the Vishanti!" he exclaimed, reeling. "Umar!"
"Quite right, doctor," Umar smiled, already shaping mystic forces with her delicate, long-nailed fingers. "Now you will know obedience."