The board member's gave a small, polite applause. "Well, let's start this formally," said Clinda. "Insertion in 5...4...3...2...1..."
As Peter Parker groggily woke, he knew something was wrong. First, he was in full costume when he clearly remembered taking it off early in the afternoon and never having to put it back on. Second, he was lying in the middle of a deserted street. Surrounded
by wooden cottages with thatch roofs.
"Well, that's the last time I eat tomato and onion casserole before bed," he said. "Hey! Anybody out there? Big time superhero in need of a ride to Queens!" The village before him was silent. "Probably should have expected that. Well, let's see if
I can find a way out of the Renn Fair." He double-checked to see if his web-shooters were fully stocked, and started walking.
He walked for a few minutes, taking note of the ghost town before him. His years of experience told him that this usually meant a trap of some sort, but his Spider Sense wasn't going off. It wasn't long before he began to hear shouting in the distance.
Deciding to take the stealthy approach, he crawled to the top of one of the cottages, and discreetly made his way over to the noise.
He soon came across the town square, where dozens of people were gathered around a large, wooden platform. The entire town seemed to be in attendance, though not willingly, given their despondent expressions. Throughout the square and platform were several
soldiers, wearing spiked green and purple armor. On the platform, a woman was lying beneath a guillotine, awaiting her execution.
"...and Anna Watson," said the soldier nearest the guillotine, "was unable to pay her taxes this week! As per the laws put down by our king, the one she loves most will be executed to serve as an example!"
"Please!" pleaded an old woman, "I can get the money by tomorrow! Just don't hurt her!"
"The Goblin King waits for no one, woman! You should know that by now! And now, because your negligence, your neice-"
"OK, that's enough of that," Peter interrupted by webbing his mouth shut. With a mighty leap, he propelled himself from his cottage perch right onto the platform, looking the soldier square in the eye.
A hushed silence fell over the square.
"Hey, I think I know you!" said Peter. "Weren't you in every bad sci-fi fantasy movie ever made? and some of the good ones? Well, at least you're still getting work."
"He...he wears the Mark of the Spider," said a dumbstruck soldier. "He wears the Mark of the Spider! Kill him!"
The soldiers let out a battle-cry and charged the wall-crawler. All to no avail, as he easily dodged their attacks and countered with his own. "Now, now guys. No need to get upset. I'm sure you're
all from terrible movies!" In minutes, the soldiers were either lying bruised on the ground, wrapped in cocoons of webbing, or running into the distance screaming.
After making sure the remaining soldiers weren't going to try anything, Peter hurried over the platform and released the woman from her bonds. "Another day saved, courtesy of your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man," he said. "So you're a Watson? Small
world, I happen to be very close to another Watson..."
It was then that Peter got a good look at the woman's face.
And saw a face he would recognize anywhere.
The redhead smiled. "Speaking." In Peter's shock, he didn't object to her lifting up his mask and kissing him hungrily.
"He...took down an entire battalion," said a villager in awe. "Like it was a joke."
"Oh, the Goblin isn't going to like this," said another village, worriedly. "He's going to be very angry, yes he is, yes he is."
"Let him rage!" yelled another. "The prophecy was true! The Spider has come at last!" The square erupted into cheers for their newfound hero.
At this point, Mary Jane broke off the kiss to speak. "So, I figure you're going to be very busy with the world-saving and all that," Mary Jane said. "But all those wives you're supposed to take...any chance I could be first in line?"