Ashley, who had drank several beers during the race, chuckled and shook her head. "Ah, forget it," she said. "No harm done, we just gotta learn to compensate for our new boobs when we aim." She poured herself another drink and sipped at it. "Plus,
we can to a whole heaping heckuva lot worse than Joker here, right?"
Jack snickered. "That's true," she said. "Remember that brainless shit volus? The 'biotic god?'"
Shepard grinned.
Ashley nodded. "There you go," she said. "So we've been suckered into being sexpets for Joker for a while. That's fine. We could use the break."
Aria snorted. "What about me?" she said. "I have a business to run here! Plus, there are some here that won't be so easily chased off like that pussy back there!"
"We'll support you," Joker said. "You're already badass enough on your own, but with the Normandy crew on your side as well, nothing will be able to touch Omega."
Shepard nodded in agreement. "You've done a lot for us, Aria," she said. "It's only fair that we repay it."
Nyreen poked Aria in one of her ample boobs. "See? Being nice to people does pay off!"
Aria just scoffed, but she was smiling.
Ashley finished off her beer, sloshed to the gills now. She hiccuped, and nodded. "There you go," she said. "No reason we can't have a little fun." She wiped her mouth with her arm, letting out a satisfied sigh. "That being said, someone's probably
gonna have to remind me of this tomorrow. Quietly. My hangovers are a bigger bitch than Jack is."
Jack cackled. "Damn, that is bad!"
Shepard shook her head, already planning on waking her up loudly. Just for laughs.
"That being said," Ashley said, wobbling slightly and pointing at Miranda, "EDI, do you know anything about sex? Not just the data, actually doing it?"
Miranda calmly moved Ashley's hand so that it was pointing at EDI.
"Thank you," Ashley said.
EDI smirked. "I have no practical experience, no," she said. "I am eager to learn, since that seems to be the purpose of our bodily enhancements. I have wanted to give Jeff a physical relationship to go with our emotional bond for quite some time now."
Joker blushed, grinning. This day just got better and better.
Ashley nodded. "Lemme show you how to do somethin' basic to start with. A blowjob!" Ashley said, surprising everyone by crawling under the table.
"Don't puke on his dick, that'll ruin the mood completely," Jack said, Miranda chuckling appreciatively.
"Nonsense!" Ashley said. "I can handle more than this!"
"She can," Shepard said, "I've seen her."
There was a brief moment of confusion as Ashley scrambled about around everyone's feet. Her head popped up in Tali's lap.
"Guess again," Tali said, chuckling.
Ashley blinked, looking up into Tali's boobs, and crawled under the table again.
Her head reappeared in Nyreen's lap.
"Getting closer," the Turian mercenary said good-naturedly, gesturing to Joker, sitting at her leg.
Everyone at the table snickered as Ashley disappeared underneath again, this time reappearing in Joker's lap. "Ah, here we go," she said, pulling down Joker's pants, letting his erection spring free. "EDI, c'mere. You'll like this..."
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