Bruce woke up and looked at the coffee, paper and daily planning sheet in the table next to his bed. He sat up and took the coffee and then grabbed the planning sheet. He read while he sipped. A meeting with the Hospital Trust Board. Then he was to pick up Selina this afternoon and take her to the Alternative Gotham Exhibit where he had been conned into hosting the tonight’s activities. Bruce was sure that Selina had somehow brainwashed Alfred to be her match maker. As much as Alfred was obsessed about Bruce and Selina settling down and raising a family together, it didn’t interfere with Bruce’s other moonlighting, Bruce let it slide. Still, once Dick had blasted the Fiddler on the Roof Match Maker song when Alfred was trying to tell Bruce that he had arranged a date with Selina. Bruce finished his coffee and put the items back on the night table. He got up and made his way to the bathroom. It was hard for him to not think about Selina as he stood over the toilet. She was like the figure in that old song, and Bruce had let her in, so now she was under his skin and anytime he thought about her she stayed in his mind for hours.
*
Selina drank her coffee and sat at her laptop. Alfred was easy, he was already devoted to getting Bruce married. But Bruce, she wanted to play around with him. Sure she could have him on his knees begging to be her slave right now, but where was the fun in that?
*
Bruce stood in the shower and quickly masturbated the thoughts of Selina out of his head and then switched the water to ice cold. Next his thought dwelled on Joker and Ivy. The incidents that had mutated and disfigured them, had also altered them into potentially powerful meta-humans. For right now they were happy to get their jollies dancing on stage. If they decided to turn rogue and become villians… well for now the only people, they wanted to use their powers on was each other. He washed up and stepped out. He dried himself off. He made his way to his master closet and found the outfit laid out for him. Bruce noticed that the underpants were black rubber with a yellow applique on the crotch. While it created his Batman logo, Bruce rolled his eyes and tossed them back into the drawer with the other things Selina had gotten for him.
*
Selina snickered and then laughed at the sight of Harley trying to make her way into the kitchen while still hogtied.
*
Dressed Bruce went down to the kitchen. Alfred was preparing food while the boys were “Seated” at the dinning island behind the butler. Dick was eating toast while doing a one handed handstand on a barstool. Jason was trying to eat oatmeal under the bandages. Bruce felt a little guilty for setting off the flash explosion that singed his head and hands last night, but that guilt evaporated as he remembered Jason trying to kill the gangsters. Tim was playing on his phone, probably texting Stephanie.
“Morning Bruce,” Dick said.
“Hay,” Tim spoke from behind the phone, “Storm is a team leader, isn’t she? How can she be grounded?”
“It’s not like Bruce would ground anyone,” Dick snickered.
“No he just sets you on fire,” Jason moaned.
Damian walked into the kitchen and took his spot at the far end of the island.
“Where is my omelet Pennyworth?” Damian said.
“Oh lord of the manor,” Tim said, “Oh wait that would be Bruce.”
Bruce looked down the line and counted off the wards.
“I shall inherit my rightful place Drake,” Damian glared, “And when I do I will clear out the worthless.”
“Oh Master Damian,” Alfred smirked, “I will be wearing the Batman suit long before you ever get the chance.”
“Don’t forget you and Cassandra will get picked up by Kate after school,” Bruce said.
“Why do I have to help that harlot?” Damian snapped.
“She is your cousin?” Tim asked.
“I thought you were all bout blood relationships,” Dick spoke up.
“Where is Cassandra?” Bruce asked.
“Probably looking for a wig to cover her singed hair,” Damian.
Bruce felt guilty about Cassandra getting hit with the flash fire that Bruce had started in his attempt to prevent Jason from killing.
“Oh, and what about me?” Jason barked from behind his bandages.
“Nobody cares about you Todd,” Damian shouted.
*
Bruce knocked on Cassandra’s door. There was no response, Bruce knocked again. Cassandra opened the door.
“Sensei,” Cassandra said.
Bruce looked at the young lady in her school outfit. Cassandra had shaved the side of her head to make the burned hair disappear. Bruce felt bad, but Cassandra smiled.
“Cassandra,” Bruce said.
“It is fine Sensei,” Cassandra said, “Many of the girls at school have been shaving the sides of their heads.”
*
Selina looked over the changes she had made in the Manor so far. Bruce was resistant, but not hostile to rubber fetishism. Bruce’s history up until the emergence of the Joker was unchanged. Without the Joker, Bruce had rescued Dick and after Dick struck out on his own to become Nightwing, Bruce had adopted Jason. But without the Joker, Jason had merely struck out on his own to become the punisher like Red Hood. No Joker meant that he never died. It also meant that Barbara Gordon, Commissioner Gordon’s daughter and Batgirl was never shot by Joker. Instead she had semi-retired as Batgirl to focus on being a digital vigilante, and had passed the Batgirl mantle to Cassandra Cain who had been taken in by Bruce after fleeing her father, the assassin David Cain. Tim Drake had taken up as Robin after Jason had left. And when his father had been killed, Bruce had adopted him making him now Tim Wayne.
“Come here Harley,” Selina called to her Hyena, “Let me get you out of those.”