"That's a SHIELD frequency," Bruce observed. "Maybe they have some useful intel on what's happened to Doreen."

 

When they answered it, though, the video screen brought up a young woman in a too-tight t-shirt with Greek letters on it and a pair of Daisy Dukes. At first glance, the wardrobe on top of the body glitter and longer hair with blonde highlights meant that Bruce and Dick couldn't immediately recognize the caller. Until, that is, they got a better look at her face and realized that the sorority girl was none other than...

 

"Daisy?"

 

"Hi, Dick," Daisy nearly squealed.

 

"Wait, dick? Lemme see, lemme see," said a voice from off-screen, soon revealed to be a vaguely familiar-looking Asian co-ed in a nearly identical shirt and loose pigtails. Once she actually saw the Dick Daisy was referring to, though, she made a disappointed noise and wandered off.

 

"Sorry about Mellie," Daisy sighed, "she's like the biggest slut in our chapter. Anyway, I had something important to tell you guys but I can't remember what it was anymore?"

 

Dick and Bruce shared a look at the realization that the boy-crazy co-ed that had briefly shown her face was none other than Melinda May, formerly one of the most formidable hand-to-hand combatants in the world. Dick then cleared his throat and tried to keep his cool, resuming the conversation. "Daisy, what happened to you? What's happened to SHIELD?"

 

Daisy could only twirl a lock of hair and bite her lip in consternation, like she was trying her hardest to think. "I... dunno? Guys, did something happen to us?"

 

Another voice from off-screen, this one with a high-pitched British accent, interjected: "We're almost out of beer!"

 

A wave of relief passed across the former Quake's face as any last trace of her old identity vanished. "That's totally it! We're gonna go on a bar crawl, wanna come with? Mellie, Jemma and I could use a couple big, strong men to keep us company..."