Wayne Manor, Gotham City
Bruce knew something was wrong, even before opening his eyes, he knew something was wrong. Opening his eyes he saw Isis sitting on the foot of the bed licking her paws. Isis: feline, pet of Selina Wayne, Black American Shorthair, Spayed, ect… Bruce raised an eyebrow. Sure he knew that but something in the back of his head was telling him that that was all wrong! Bruce looked at a photo on the wall to his left, it was a wedding photo of him and Selina. In the background was Alfred, a younger Dick, Holly, Maggie and Doctor Thompkins. His active mind replayed the events, but sirens were blaring in the shadows of his head.
“Morning B-man,” Holly announced pushing a cart into the bedroom, “Alfred went to pickup ‘Lina and Doc Quinn from the airport. Said he already laid out your suit for the day in the dressing room.”
“Thank you Holly,” Bruce tried to smile.
“Well get something to eat,” Holly smiled, “I’m going to go meet up with Karon.”
Bruce watched the blonde leave, there was a flash of leopard print panties from under the short vinyl skirt of the maid outfit that matched the leopard print gloves, socks, head band and apron.
“Tell ‘Lina that I want to hear about her trip when I get back from the costume party!” Holly called as she left.
*
Frankie and Linda sat down together on the couch with a bottle of wine.
“So how was the meeting?” Linda asked.
“So boring that I zoned out the entire time,” Frankie took a sip of the wine.
“Oh come on,” Linda smirked, “If it was so important that S.H.I.E.L.D. sent agents to pick you up, it must have been pretty important!”
“Honestly I just spent the entire time day dreaming,” Frankie smirked.
“What could you be day dreaming about for a week?” Linda asked.
“Korean tacos with Ginger sausages,” Frankie pawed Linda’s shirt.
“Oh, Mrs. Kane-West,” Linda put her hands on Frankie’s torso, “Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Fuck yeah,” Frankie leaned in for a kiss.
*
Cleveland Zoo
“Why do I have to pretend to be the catgirl from the Video game?” Sam shouted.
“Because,” Tigra smiled at her student, “My coat is a golden Tiger, Barbara got a Cheetah coat and you got the white tiger with the blue hair. Since you two haven’t established your own super-hero personas yet, the Zoo paid to license the characters to make you two more recognizable to kids. Now put on your mittens and hair band.”
“At least you are not wearing fur and panty hose!” Barbara hissed.
“Lets go Cheetara,” Tigra rolled her eyes, “It’s like watching a monkey fucking a football!”There was a knock at the door.
“Ladies are you almost ready?” the Zoo’s PR director called, “Remember that you are answering questions about how to help endangered big cats.”
*
Wayne Manor, Gotham City
Bruce walked across the main hall as Alfred opened the door for Selina and Harley. Selina strutted in with a cat that ate the canary smile on her face, while Harley practically skipped in.
“Well hello handsome!” Selina kissed Bruce.
“Hiya!” Harley kissed Bruce.
There was shouting and a commotion from the Drawing room.
“You leave Steph out of this you little shit!” Tim shouted at Damian as the exited the drawing room.
“That is part of why I am the better Bat,” Damian shouted, “I don’t let harlots interfere with my judgement!”
“Aw,” Harley cooed, “Is my son standing up for the girl he loves?”
“Look Doctor,” Tim turned to Harley, “I know you signed the adoption papers after my father was killed, I thank you for that, but we both know why I am here and what is really going on.”
“Mommy loves you too Junior!” Harley snickered.
“And as for you, Junior!” Selina pulled a hidden riding crop from… somewhere, “How many times do we have to tell you not to pick fights!”
Selina swatted Damian’s butt.
A thought crossed in the back of Bruce’s head, Doctor Harley Quinzel wasn’t his lover; she was the Joker’s psycho fangirl lover slash punching bag.
Harley turned and presented her butt for Selina to swat as well and giggled with each whack.