Bruce woke to the sound of a woman snoring next to him. Eyes snapping open he scanned his surroundings. The master bed room of Wayne manor. Next to him was black haired cuacasian woman. Oddly she looked like she was Tony Stark’s sister or cousin. Then Bruce saw the telltale sign, Tony’s Arc Reactor in her chest.
“Tony Stark?” Bruce asked.
“Wha?” the woman asked still half asleep, “Bruce? How many Margaritavilles did we drink dry last night?”
Stark put her hand over her eyes and started to squint at the late morning light. It only took seconds for her to start looking at her left hand and realize it was a woman’s hands complete with diamond wedding and engagement rings.
“DAFUQ!” Stark started screaming.
Shooting straight up, Stark started going over her body, clearly in shock at being a woman.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” She screamed.
She started pawing herself, checking that she was in fact a she.
“Fucking FUCK!”
Alfred had entered and set a breakfast tray on a curio, poured a glass of water and turned to the hysterical woman. With a quick curt motion, Alfred splashed Stark in the face with the water, snapping her out of her cursing spell.
“Feeling better yet Mrs. Wayne?” Alfred asked.
“Until you called her that,” Bruce rolled his eyes.
“I am not entirely sure how this happened,” Alfred picked up a framed wedding photo and held it for the couple to see, “But it seems that as of this morning the marriage of Bruce Wayne and Toni Stark is word of god as it were, and the subject of tabloid headlines.”
Alfred handed Bruce and Toni the morning papers and on the front page was dedicated to speculation over the release the Wayne honeymoon sex tape and the possibility that it was put out by Toni Wayne herself via her patented AI system JARVIS.
Toni looked up from the paper to see Bruce and Alfred giving her the stink eye.
“Yeah that is something I would do,” Toni admitted, “So these are the wedding ring set? Are they from the seventeen hundreds.”
“1890’s, they have been handed down from Bruce’s great-grandmother to his mother and then you got them,” Alfred spoke up, “We have many heirlooms in this home.”
“So the only things new in the place have a giant bat logo?” Toni snapped.
“Shall I have the tattoo chair prepared in the cave?” Alfred snipped.
“I would check for a tramp stamp,” Bruce quipped.
“Toni time to get up,” Pepper said as she barged in the room, “Oh thank goodness you are at least in a tank and panties. Normally there isn’t a stich of clothes between you two. Wait does that mean you started fighting already?”
“No,” the couple replied.
“Oh good,” Pepper sighed, “Er… In other news, Bruce, your bastard is in the drawing room with a shotgun.”
“Damian?” Alfred asked.
“No the monster was trying to plant IEDs in my bed when Happy caught him,” Pepper shrugged, “Helen stripped the Keltec shotgun you confiscated from Red Hood down to pins and screws.”