Walking up the rose bush-lined path to the front porch of the Howard Bed & Breakfast, Diana caught moment out of the corner of her eye. Coming around to the front of the yard, carrying a couple of two-by-fours in his muscular arms, was a very tall, large man dressed in blue jeans, a gray tank top and workman boots. In her flustered state, Diana had yet again failed to notice the large pickup truck parked in the front driveway of the B&B and that the bed of the truck was filled with lumber fit for a rather large construction job. Wonder Woman rolled her eyes and cursed herself for her slack observations ever since entering Cutter Creek. She clung to the hope that this Howard Bed & Breakfast would be a normal enough place that she might finally clear her mind of all the unbelievable sighs she had witnessed and focus on the mission ahead of her.
"Ma'am," the large called, as he stepped over some rose bushes on his way to his truck. His hillbilly accent came out in a deep baritone.
Diana huffed to herself and turned. She smiled politely to the man and nodded her head to acknowledge his greeting. Honestly, she wanted to avoid any more pointless conversation with the male populace of Cutter Creek for the rest of the day, so she was glad when the man kept his introduction to that one word. Picking up her pace, Diana left the man to his work and made her way briskly up the porch steps and finally, to the three-story building's front door.
A tingling bell at the door announced Diana's entry, with the undercover heroine taking a moment to take in the quaint-looking interior of the house. The midday sun was peaking in through the white drapes of the windows and she could hear the pleasant chirping sound of birds singing in the picturesque trees just outside. There was little activity inside the Bed & Breakfast, and it was almost completely quiet, save for cheerful humming coming from somewhere in the first floor. Diana breathed a sigh of relief and caught a whiff of fresh baking coming from what she assumed was the kitchen. She welcomed the peace that this place seemed to offer, and thought for a moment that this could finally be her refuge from all the hustle and bustle of Cutter Creek, despite how put off she had been from the bizarre signs outside.
"Ah'll be out in a jiffy," a twangy, sing-songy voice called out, "Jus' finishin' up this here batch o' goodies!"
"Um, ok," Diana called back, taking her place in front entryway. She looked around and saw that there was a small table with a leather-bound book that read 'Guests.' Diana shrugged and wondered if this was a makeshift, down-homey front desk, "Just wondering if there's a room available?"
Diana had to wait a while for her answer, although she could hear the dull-sounds of an oven opening and closing and other activity in the kitchen. After a time that was probably much shorter than it felt to Diana, she heard the distinctive click-clack of high heels on the hardwood floor and shortly after a woman carrying a basket of brownies sashayed into the room. Wonder Woman had hold back her shock from her first glance of the woman. To say she was striking would have been an understatement. Her breasts were absolutely enormous and her belly was huge, indicating she was definitely in her third trimester of pregnancy and her form-fitting lime green sundress did nothing to hide these facts. Her stomach was fighting for freedom against the imprisoning fabric while the dress' plunging neckline showcased the woman's cavernous cleavage.
Driving through town, Diana had become used to seeing women with child, but her shock with in this case was the woman's age. She looked to be in her late fifties, and while Diana was not one to judge one based on age, the woman's pregnant state, sizable chest and chosen attire were combining to make Diana truly question what she was seeing. Looking down, Diana noticed that this middle aged woman was even wearing a pair of towering high heels! She doubted even she would have kept her balance so easily in them and that was with her Amazonian sense of balance and strength. Yet, here this lady was, gliding across the floor with ease. To round off Diana's discomfort, the woman had a wide, somewhat vacant smile on her heavily made-up face with her brown hair done up high in a big, high-maintenced bouffant style. It was vanity in every sense of the word.
"Ah do apologize for makin' ya wait, hon. An' bein' all quiet while Ah finished off this here batch o' brownies Ah was bakin'. Didn't want all that hard work tah go tah waste now," the woman said with a happy giggle, "By the way, mah name's Trish Howard. Mah husband, Roger Howard, runs this here B&B. Now, unless mah ears was playin' tricks on me I think Ah heard you were askin' if'n there was a room available? Brownie?"
Diana blinked a few times in confusion at the woman, who was smiling that odd, vacant smile and holding out her basket of freshly-made brownies. The disguised Wonder Woman smiled back and took a brownie and took a small nibble of the delicious treat. Trish Howard giggled again at this.
"Golly, ya'll city gals are all alike. Always worryin' and fussin' over ya'll's figures. C'mon, sweetie. Dig in. Live a little," Trish urged.
"How did you know I was from the 'big city?'" Diana asked, her brow furrowing slightly.
"Oh, a beauty like yerself shouldn't go lookin' at people like that. Gives ya wrinkles. Anyway, it's obvious, sweetie. The suit, the way ya talk, darlin', an' it's just plain as that cute lil' nose on yer face. An' fer Pete's sake, girl, yer so skinny you'd have ta stand up twice to cast a shadow!," Trish exclaimed, her huge breasts bobbing with each sentence. She then before settling down, "Now, about that room. How long ya thinkin' 'bout staying, Miss...?"
"I'm sorry. Diana Prince. It's nice to meet you, Trish. Your Bed & Breakfast is beautiful. A credit to the wife of the house," Diana spoke, before taking a bigger bite of the brownie. Trish giggled again at the compliment and for Diana to finally really dig into the offered brownie. Diana swallowed the delicious morsel and continued, "I am in town on business and will require a room for as long as that business takes to complete. Tell me, Trish. About how many people are staying here at a time?"
"Whah, if'n ya must know, it's me an' ol' Rog, our daughters, an' we have plenty of guest rooms. Yer in luck, Diana, dear. Jus' so happened that one room jus' done opened up," Trish cooed, flashing a giddy smile, "One o' the gals that was stayin' here done jus' got hitched this past weekend!"
"Oh, that's wonderful," Diana said, trying to sound interested in this story when a sneaking suspicion crept into her mind. She had to ask, "What's her name? Maybe I'll see her around town in my stay and I can congratulate her."
"Ooooh! How nice of you! An' here Ah thought all city gals was the same," Trish chirped, "Tara Jane. Tara Jane Wilkes now. Such a pretty gal. Such a happy couple. Such a beautiful ceremony!"
Diana breathed a sigh of relief that the name wasn't Donna's. She would have hated for Donna to be roped into this strange community somehow and be forced to marry some country bumpkin against her will.
"Oooooh," Trish moaned, gripping her huge, round belly. She then giggled again and looked up at Diana, "Mah lil' darlin's a-kickin'."