Maria Hill stood in the teleconference room wishing she had an entire bottle of aspirin. Doom was ranting, if she was going to find a way to beat Doom she would have to at least know what this was all about.
“What are you yammering on about Doom,” Hill finally cut the dictator off.
“Either you find and deliver to me the Morlocks or New York will never be the same!” Doom snapped in response.
“Morlocks Doom?” Hill asked.
“I have filled many protests to Director Furry!” Doom made a sweeping gesture.
Maria snapped at a computer tech, he went to work looking up the files. A series of documents were pushed to Hill’s tablet. Then more files with header for the UN, the US Diplomatic Security Service and even other country names. Maria held up a finger for a second and skimmed the documents.
“Doom, you are holding us responsible for your holding New York City because homeless mutants are raiding your pantry?” Hill gasped.
“Your refusal, the UN refusal, the US State Department’s refusal to respect the sovereignty of Latveria and its embassy brought this on New York City!”
“Doom,” Hill looked back up, “You have thieves breaking into a minimal security area to steal fresh food. You demand S.H.I.E.L.D. sends in tactical teams to round up these homeless mutants like the Gestapo. Furry tells you to take it up with the State Department’s Security Service. DSS takes your complaint and says to it’s not their job, take it up with the UN. The UN says you’re not the only one, take it up with the NYPD. The NYPD said what? Give a list of items stolen and their dollar valor?”
“They all refused to take the gravity of the situation seriously!” Doom declared.
“Doom, S.H.I.E.L.D. is here to deal with the likes of you, A.I.M. Hydra and so on, the DSS is there to keep people from trying to kill you when you come to the US, and the UN, well they are useless…” Hill sighed, “Regardless. That leaves the NYPD as the people with the mission and resources to deal with a pack of homeless thieves. And I am sure the NYPD has been trying to grab these mutants for a long time. Looking at the protest letters here, other countries have complaints of robberies against the Morlocks, Canada, Russia, New Zealand, Kenya, South Africa, Brazil, Argentina, North Korea, even Trinidad and Tobago!”
“They are not Latveria!” Doom snapped.
“Your right,” Hill smirked, “Canada apologies for having to bring it up again, Trinidad and Tobago stated that while it is extremely expensive to buy material in NYC, had the thieves asked the staff they would have shared willingly with them.”
“They are not Latveria!” Doom ranted.
“No they are not, they accept that they are dealing with street criminals trying to eat,” Hill snapped back, “Doctor Doom goes off the deep end and unleashed a Bioweapon that mutates an entire city!”
*
Logan and Hank were cornered in the alley. She-Hulk, Jen Walters or rather “Panda-Hulk” cut off one end while the mutated Jean Grey held the other…
“Hank when I tell you climb for the roofs,” Logan whispered.
“They are our friends, we can’t hurt them,” Hank whispered.
“They’ll be fine,” Logan smiled making kissy faces at Jean, “Climb! Hay Panda-Hulk give me some sugar baby!”
Hank climbed for dear life as the two blue panda girls charged Logan. Once on the roof he looked back and gasped at the sight of the furry threesome.
“That’s…” Hank covered his eyes, “Hell who am I to say anything.”
*
The Daily Bugle
John Johan Jameson Junior was a man of composure, well that is what he told himself, he was a man of articulation, but this left him raving and flabbergasted at the same time! Somehow that web freak had managed to infect the entire city, well of course Doctor Doom would help that cursed web head, but he had infected the entire city with a mutagenic plague that turned people into blue furry porn stars! Right outside the copy boy had turned into a big blue Maine Coon and was humping the City Desk Secretary a blue hairless catgirl on top of the snack cart! Hell the snack guy was giving one of the city writers a blow job against the door to the broadcast booth! Even if JJ wanted to try and sneak out, the one exit was blocked. Well on the plus side, so far the re-enforced sound proofed windows and doors were holding and that meant that the money wasn’t a rip off after all.