X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 6/2/2014 10:56 PM

Let me know what you think of the Stepford Submission and where you would like to see it go from here.  All are welcome to add to it.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 6/6/2014 12:04 PM

Thank you ESchorcho (and solddate).  I can't say that I'll contribute often to stories here because I just happened to have some free time yesterday to put up a chapter. 

The only thought that occurs to me immediately is about the Security Squad.  I think you want a setup like the old Valiant comic H.A.R.D.Corps (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.A.R.D._Corps) which was about a mercenary organization who used copied metahuman powers in normal level operatives.  Obviously they're capturing mutants to expand the range of available powers.  I'd disagree with the depowering of the mutants in the process...it makes it less of a challenge to contain them and thus decreases the number of possible story hooks.  It also gives them reasons to keep people prisoner instead of just offing the inconvenient males...

Anyway, good luck with your story.

 


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 6/12/2014 5:01 PM

Loved the Rogue apprehended chapter, MacroLass.  I am trying to figure out what to do with the option with Kitten and Ororo.  I was kind of thinking of adding the chapter I wrote to this storyline too but that might get too confusing for people.  How do you think this should be handled?  I do want to keep adding to this path of the storyline, as well as the other.If others want to share their opinion or add to the storyline, please do.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 6/16/2014 2:06 PM

Assuming you're willing to let my capture of Rogue stand over simply having both of them knocked out and abducted, I think merging the 2 threads back into one would serve the story best, that makes easier to keep track of. 

As far as what Ororo learns from Kitten, it depends on what her role is intended to be.   If she's intended to be Kitten's maid/bodyslave (a rather racist notion but in keeping with the times), that's one thing but if she's going to be another wife, the advice she'll give will be somewhat limited and generic (as Kitten isn't physically suited for that kind of instruction <smirk>). One idea is that T'challa might also be a Stepford backer in secret with the goal of turning Ororo away from her mutant mania and making her more suited to the royal duties of personal appearances and bearing offspring, even though he finds the project's main objective culturally bizzare and repugnant.  It's a rather radical turn but since you had the Beast go heel, I'm guessing most bets are off...

I've got an idea of what I want for Rogue but I haven't really come up with anything for Gambit so I'm just going to have him skulk around for the time being.

 


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 6/16/2014 7:40 PM

I do not want Ororo to be a maid or slave.  I really want her to be a wife and for a while, she could go on dates or go clubbing as she gets sluttier and sluttier with her conditioning.  I see Ororo having her body worked on so she gets curvier and curvier until she is as big-titted and voluptuous as every other Stepford woman.  I could also see her meeting more and more of Kitten's Stepford wife friends and she could start to learn how to be a proper Stepford woman just from being around these women.  As her body fills out the more and more slutty and vain Ororo practically begs Kitten to invite her friends to go shopping for briefer and body-revealing dresses until she finally is accepted into the whorish clique and she could be invited to be a bridesmaid for Kitten's wedding.  Kitten would want her to be a bridesmaid all along but her friends could be a little more unsure. Maybe at Kitten's wedding T'challa could be a guest?  I do like the idea of him at first showing up in Stepford and being repulsed but then he could fall prey to the subliminals that could make him more of a male-chauvinistic Stepford sympathizer.  He wouldn't be a Stepford citizen but could take Ororo away eventually to be his loyal and devoted Queen and they could visit Stepford a lot so she wouldn't fall out of the story all together.  But that is getting a little ahead of ourselves.What do you think about Ororo?  Macrolass, can't wait to see what you have in store for Rogue (or Anne-Marie)


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 6/19/2014 3:31 PM

MacroLass, is Simon Trask supposed to be Victor's uncle in your most recent chapter?  Because the Trask that was mentioned in the story and had dealt with McCoy and Rao in the lab was Victor Trask, a son of Bolivar Trask that was made up for this storyline.  Just trying to keep everything straight.Loved the chapter.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 6/19/2014 5:50 PM

I couldn't remember the particular Trask's name, I was in a hurry so I looked it up and the only on that was in Marvel canon besides Bolivar was Simon, so I used that one.  Assume I meant Victor.

 


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 6/23/2014 2:17 PM

MacroLass, I'm looking forward to finding out who 'Mr. Burns' is.  Hopefully a new chapter following the Ororo/Kitten side of things will be up soon as well.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 6/23/2014 5:41 PM

MacroLass, I like the new chapter with the Rogue/Annie Marie and Gambit storylines but I have an issue with the Ororo path.  It was Victor that shaved her head and dished out the punishment.  He was the one who said that if she became a good Stepford woman maybe then they could revisit the topic of re-growing her hair.  Why would he then in the span of only a few hours want her to have floor-length hair?


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 6/24/2014 2:33 PM

Well first off, I *really* didn't like the 'punk Storm' mohawk version of her so I tried tweaking the story away from that direction.  <smirk>  I didn't think that would wreck anything.

My in story rationale is that Victor wants her to *suffer* as an outlet for his anger and that the bald thing wasn't severe enough so he goes the opposite way, making it another physical impairment but fetishizing it to help break her self image. 

Regardless, it was just a suggestion so disregard it if you wish.  I won't be offended.

 


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 7/17/2014 10:00 AM

MacroLass, as I mentioned on the Wall, the Ororo path has now caught up with your own path for her.  She has been brought away to have her mutant abilities taken away.  I guess I would prefer for her to be left out of the whole Hammer side-storyline with that going on in the background as Ororo is made into the perfect Stepford woman.I am interested to see where you take all of this now that everything should be happening around the same time if I'm not mistaken.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 7/23/2014 1:23 PM

Well, about Ororo...Rao was sent to kill Trask but that doesn't mean she gets there in time or is able to interfere.  I just want to get those two threads of this story reasonably close together, at least for the time being.

RE the Gambit thread...I'm trying to work out in my head who'd be appropriate for the party (I forget the name you gave the neighborhood in Stepford that they're in).  I can think of 2 main parameters: No mutants (since the mutants and the removal of their powers is the primary thrust of the main town) and no insanely powerful and uber famous heroines (ie Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Captain Marvel, etc.).  I admit I'm breaking my own rule with Sue Storm as the Fuckerware agent...but she's actually a repurposed LMD sex droid...

I'm assuming the reason these attractive and eminently fuckable women have been exiled to their own neighborhood is that A) they don't fit in with the original purpose of reducing the mutant population and B) their powers/abilities are not transferable by Trask's process...either because they're a product of physique (such as Barda or Titania) or the result of intense training.

Sadly, most of them won't fit into the cool "preverted name" mold but since they're just window dressing anyway it doesn't matter that much.

Anyway, a possible list for the party:  Batwoman, Huntress, Daughters of the Dragon (Misty Knight and Colleen Wing), Stargirl, White Tiger. 

If anyone else has suggestions for party guests, please let me know.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 7/23/2014 3:17 PM

I was originally thinking that this would only be set in the Marvel universe, but with the hinting inclusion of Big Barda, I now like the idea of a 'mixed' universe and it would be fun to open it up a bit to the DC as well.  A now straight, Stepfordized Batwoman would definitely work, a younger slightly naive Stargirl would also be fun.  Could also do more characters like Wolfsbane (Rahne Sinclair), Tigra or Cheetah from the DC universe to play up this more "exiled" part of Stepford.  The real interesting thing would be the sluts' attitudes.  I see them all like Bardi is, overly eager to please.For Trask, I think the storyline would be more interesting if he doesn't die but I would be open to an alternate to that.  I think it would be fun to see Kitten lead Ororo further and further down the Stepford rabbit hole, living their lives, meeting new Stepford women, as Ororo is made more and more into a true Stepford woman, and they are perfectly happy but there is this secret war going on between Trask and Hammer in the background.What do you think?


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 7/23/2014 7:24 PM

I'm glad you're open to the idea of including other characters into it, that really expands the range of possibilities.  Though of course we have to make sure that there aren't TOO many housewives around since the X-Men didn't seem to have any idea that there's a sudden shortage of female mutants.  I have to wonder if this is maybe a "normal" Stepford that became interested in super females since it'd be a bit weird for the place to have hundreds of people there already if they just got into the game.

I chose Stargirl because I was looking for someone about Kitty's age in the comics that was a full fledged heroine, most of the Teen Titans aren't really teens any more.  {smirk} 

 I definitely agree that the "exiles" will all be in the dimwitted horny housewife mode, while the Stepford process might not be infallible they definitely wouldn't let them live alone without supervision unless they were completely indoctrinated. 

I was thinking about that...it is more interesting if Trask stays around but I want him to at least be mindful of Hammer Industries as a threat to this world he's trying to create.  Maybe he ends up having to compromise, making a sort of "upscale" neighborhood of Stepford for the HI favorites while the mutant women are part of a more traditional "americana" type atmosphere. 

While I find the new Kitten/Rori relationship to be interesting as it evolves, I'm not really that interested in shaping it myself as you seem to have a much better handle on it.  But yes, as you say...I think this story is big enough that it can contain both themes at the same time.

 


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 7/26/2014 4:46 PM

MacroLass, in the coming chapters I am going to have KItten introduce Ororo to more of Stepford society.  She will meet Kitten's friends who will be her bridesmaids.  So with that, I was wondering were you planning on the Stepfordized Stargirl to be a part of that?  Will she be at the 'fuckerware' party for some reason or when you offered her as a suggestion for being in Stepford were you thinking she would be more a part of Kitten's group of women.  What do you think?I am in the process of working on a new chapter and should have something ready within a few days.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by Master_Kind - 8/3/2014 2:52 AM

Hi, all! Just managed to read the message board. I was wondering about dipping my toe into the story. I had a very different idea bout the exiled members of the Stepford Society at the Fuckerware party - they've been exiled due to either A) Beast & Rao not being able to remove dangerous powers that a loving bimbo would hurt her man with by accident (i.e. Barda's strength), B) the inherent Stepford brainwashing not working exactly right on women who already had husbands in the past (Sue, Titiana and Barda) or were crazy to start with (Typhoid Mary, Shriek) or C) a deeply unfortunate combo of A & B (Titiana AND Barda). They have to have their own neighborhood for the safety of others and so Beast & Rao can continue to work on removing their powers and fine-tuning the subliminal messages (hence the "sleepy juice" for when they get agitated).What do the both of you think? I was sort of angling towards this but I'm happy to stick with your original notions.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 8/3/2014 7:15 AM

Master_Kind, I encourage you to add to the Stepford storyline but I will say that I am working on two chapters coming up here.  I should be able to post tomorrow but we'll see how things go.  I will say that the chapter only deals slightly with Fuckerware party so you could start writing now if you want to.As for your options, I think the combination of A and B works best.  It could vary depending on the woman.  For instance, with Sue it could be because she is still clinging to her marriage.  I see Sue as more with it than the others.  She is a role-model of sorts to the other 'damaged' women.I look forward to your future chapter, but I just ask to wait for my chapter to be finished first.  Thanks for your interest in the storyline.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 8/4/2014 1:10 PM

My take on the "exile" neighborhood was that anyone who didn't have 'X' powers was put there since most other forms of metahumanity can't be turned on and off like a light switch as mutants' powers can.  Thus they also can't be transferred over to the Security's "database" for use by their agents.  Which creates an interesting dichotomy because both the really powerful (like Titania) and the non powered (like Batwoman) are mixed into the same pot. 

The problem with making all of the exiles "dangerous" is that it limits the pool of possible candidates...which is already pretty restrictive because they had to have stumbled on Stepford somehow and can't be too powerful for the security to have captured.  Except for Titania possibly...it might be an interesting surprise to have Absorbing Man make her go through the process to have her become docile but NOT wanting to live in Stepford (his Al Bundy style beer swilling common man mentality probably wouldn't mix well in the town's 50's mentality). 

I hear what you're saying about the possibility of hurting the new husband but I'd counter that's not the reason Kitten, Jennie, and the others were depowered.  It's more A) a punishment for the "crime" of being a mutant, B) a means of stripping their old identities, and C) a way to empower their own agents.  But I agree that their brains are pretty much blasted 24/7 with subliminals to turn them into docile house pets.  An idea about the "sleepy juice": it comes in dildo shaped containers so even the act of taking it becomes a submission to male authority.  Which would bring about a disturbing question of how she administered it to him...

Yeah, I had Sue as the Fuckerware agent as she's pretty  much the archetypical superheroine wife figure.  It'd be an interesting weakness of the conditioning that it doesn't work as well on the already wed, especially if they have to change husbands/mates on them... 

 


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 8/6/2014 8:28 PM

I've posted my chapters.  Looking forward to what happens in the Fuckerware Party and anything else that comes.  Good luck writing!


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 8/11/2014 2:10 PM

For the Stepford storyline I have set up this apartment building where the girls that are in the process of being 'Stepfordized' stay and it's called the Doll House.  Ororo and Kitten are there right now and I think it would be fun for a female mutant to be spotted and she could be somewhere between where Ororo is and where Kitten is in their paths to being the perfect Stepford wife.  Any idea who this could be?I was toying with the notion that it could be Calisto from the Morlocks because she had history with Ororo but maybe that wouldn't work.  Any ideas?MacroLass, Master_Kind, any update on a new chapter or should I keep it going?


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by MacroLass - 8/12/2014 1:52 PM

Maybe it's because of the "punker" astethic of the Morlock's storyline but I always thought she was pretty ugly...which might not be a problem in a story about body modding and surgery but I'd still prefer someone else.  Here's a few alternatives:

1)  Domino

2)  Mystique  (both of these two have a history of poking their noses into things they shouldn't)

3)  Polaris

4)  Scarlet Witch

5)  Dazzler (just to be old school {smirk})

No idea when I'll be able to give you another chapter, I'm still trying to think about Rao and the surgery.  Had an interesting notion that maybe the attempt on Trask's life fails but Ororo's powers are transferred to him (since he's poking around in her brain)...so he has to hide this NEW secret and learn to control it.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 8/14/2014 10:15 PM

So what do you think should happen to Trask? 


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by Master_Kind - 8/15/2014 1:35 AM

Hey all, sorry for not contributing. I'm fine with whatever direction you guys feel like going. I'm happy to ramp down any threat levels for the girls at the Fuckerware party, just so long as it's primarily about them being too attached to old attachments or not yet having a place in Stepford. Perhaps Tigra could be added to the mix? As far as Trask goes, I think it would be interesting if the attempt to kill seems to succeed but he's got some sort of ace up his sleeve that brings him back to life after the coup seems to have taken hold (nano-sentinels, Sublime, magic macguffins).


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 8/15/2014 7:09 AM

MacroLass, Master_Kind,With Trask, I see no other path that would make sense other than for him to be killed by Ororo's powers brought on by McCoy.  Then, as Master_Kind says, he could be brought back to life by either nanobots, magic or something else.  If you guys have any suggestions on how to have Ororo's powers flare up and not hit Trask or something else would happen then I would gladly hear it.My only issue with this is that it is diverting from the original goal of the story, which was to show the process by which a heroine is turned into a Stepford Wife.  In this case, Ororo.  I admit that her change was very much a slow burn, but I like that in a storyline.  And the thing was, that after this 'treatment' her change was going to start going faster and faster and it was going to be more fun.  No more uncertainty or anything like that.  But now with the change of power in Stepford and her actually killing someone, I don't see how she won't feel guilty about this.  So while this whole conflict in Stepford is interesting, it is taking the storyline to a place that I guess I didn't see it going this fast.  If anyone has a suggestion on where it should go, I am all ears because I am stumped.And yes, I know with the addventure form of writing these things will happen.As for Master_Kind, I have a bit of a challenge for you.  Please write a chapter for the Fuckerware Party, and really flesh it out.  Who is all there?  Why are they there?  I like your idea about Tigra being there.  I'd like to see a detailed chapter on that since I don't think it's been fleshed out as much as it could be.


RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion

by ESchorcho - 8/15/2014 7:11 AM

Also, why aren't my posts separated into paragraphs on the message board rather than the disgusting blob that it is currently?


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colleem - 9/27/2014 1:06 PM
Depends on the Villain i would say :) but i think the best results would be a combination of many different Methods.
C.King - 9/27/2014 12:43 PM
Question: What mind control device and techniques would be best to make a super a willing pornstar? Or should I make one up?
Drake G. Reaper - 9/27/2014 10:41 AM
Well I've updated the Bimbotech storyline with a possible plot twist that could develop. :)
Grimmer - 9/26/2014 12:09 PM
Well let me know if you have any ideas for this storyline beyond Diana discovering that absolutely every hero, villain, male and female alike, are as fat and slothful as she and Bruce are.
burke_rakers - 9/26/2014 11:34 AM
Thanks, Grimmer. Man oh man, this has been a rough few months. Every time I THINK I've got everything under control, someone I was counting on goes off the rails or some system breaks down. I got home last night, looked at my computer, and said "I'v
ESchorcho - 9/26/2014 10:35 AM
gothamalleyviper, glad you like the new chapters. I will not have time to add anything to Rubber Queen before the weekend so I look forward to your next chapter.
Grimmer - 9/26/2014 10:14 AM
Burke, thanks for updating one of my options for Random Romance. Expect a continuing chapter from me in the future. And don't worry, I won't rush to enact another change, as I know that's an issue you've had with my work in the past on Forever Changing
gothamalleyviper - 9/25/2014 6:39 PM
ESChorcho, I like it, I am going to post something this weekend for Rubber Queen, of you want to take the Royal Court to Dawn or Helena and Dinah to Dawn that would be help me and be interesting.
Sailor Mercury - 9/23/2014 7:45 PM
I am back. Going to try and reboot an old story I started a few years back.
gothamalleyviper - 9/14/2014 9:09 PM
Anyone want to toss me some help with a book length project over on message board?



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