by CorruptionCentral - 2/21/2014 9:32 PM
I thought I would take an opportunity to start a discussion of the 'sleazy reporter' variant of the "Susan's Secret Life" Storyline. I thought this might be a better idea than posting extremely long potential chapters as the story progresses. The first thing I thought might be helpful is suggestions of how to keep Susan's family out of her business now that she is so heavily involved in stripping engagements and practice for several weeks. As I can see it, there are two ways to accomplish this.
The first method of keeping everyone out of her business would be to come up with an airtight reason she is missing 6 nights a week. Here are my thoughts on that:
- Sue could have a Medusa of the Inhumans provide a fake excuse that she is needed there either for defense of their people, negotiations with another culture, or possibly as a contributor to an interstellar conference on female rights. (I don't recommend defense as the whole family would be constantly looking for any excuse to look in on them to make sure Sue is OK)
- Sue could have someone like Black Widow or Ms Marvel tell the family that Sue is on a secret mission for SHIELD
- Sue could set up with the Avengers to be a late night monitor duty for several weeks. Instead of actually doing the work for the Avengers she could send a Life Model Decoy of her while the real Sue does her stripper work
Another method is to set up each of the Fantastic Four men with things that will occupy them:
- A long term project to observe a new universe about to be born via its own big bang. Sue could talk to Dr Alyssa Moy, a colleague of Reed's that also use to be a girl friend of his long ago. Alyssa would jump at the chance and Reed couldn't resist the project as long as Sue was OK with it. (normally she wouldn't be, but with the drive her being drugged is causing she might push her normal objections out of the way to continue stripping.
- Set Johnny up with a lady extreme sports promoter who has been after him to go on tour.
- Get Johnny a role in a Hollywood movie production that will take him out of town for a couple months
- Set up on a long trip with his girlfriend
- Set Ben up with one of the other strippers friends that has a thing for him & will keep him too busy to notice Sue's late nights
- Get Ben a temporary spot on one of the remaining west coast/Hawaii '50 states initiative' as a team lead/instructor
I just offer these ideas in hopes that it helps. Thanks to the originator and the contributors for giving us something to enjoy and look forward to :-D
by CJ - 2/22/2014 12:25 AM
I think it would be best to mix and match the two methods. I kind of like the Medusa option but it comes with the issue of how does she convince Medusa to do this for her. I don't know the character very well and wouldn't know how to write this.
I really like the working for SHIELD option as well and have thought of a was to spin it. One of the options tacked onto the latest chapter with Suzanne costume shopping has Sue encountering another heroine while stripping, this would give Sue leverage to get cooperation from the other heroine and also brings up the possibility of Ralph asking for her services in the future after Sue slips up and mentions her when talking about her excuse.
The option with Reed and the other scientist he used to date would roll well with where I see the story going in the future. I had the thought after a slipup resulting in a one night stand (which she enjoyed) that Sue was scared straight from guilt for a while and then after Reed neglecting her she would seek out the 'Suzanne' life again and actually escalate by being open to prostitution. Could easily have it to that Reed misses an anniversery or B-day dinner that Sue went through a lot of trouble to arrange only for her to find him in the lab with Alyssa (maybe standing too close or even better she tripped and he caught her in a suggestive pose just as Sue walks in). Sue in jealousy and spite turns to her secret life for sexual relief and people who give her attention.
by exidor455 - 2/22/2014 5:27 AM
I like the idea that Sue encounters another heroine or villainess while stripping, then they would discover her secret and would provide a coverstory for her, in return for certain "favours". The cover story would work better if it was a heroine, but it could be more fun if it was a villain because that would open up new areas of corruption for Sue. She could be blackmailed into porn/prostitution etc, and find that she likes it.
Thanks to everyone for contributing to the story and keeping it bubbling along. I'm also happy for people to go back and open up more avenues for the story if they like!
BTW, I notice that my "demonic whore" chapter for the Mephisto strand has no score. Was it crap? Any suggestions on how that should go forward?
by CorruptionCentral - 2/22/2014 8:44 AM
I like where you are going. I could explain how to work the Medusa option, but it sounds like it wouldn't help with this story at this time anyway. As to heroine strippers, I had an idea for Volcana, a heroine struggling to make it in New York, might be a stripper to make ends meet; however she has no connections that would help Sue. Volcana would make a new girlfriend for Ben and as clinging as Volcana is she would keep Ben more than busy enough for a very, very long time.
For other heroines that could be strippers, Wasp and Tigra jump to the top of the list and they might help Sue just because they would love to share their dirty secrets with her. I could see Scarlet Witch doing it too and using her hex magic to cover her guilty pleasures. Shield agents are and interesting topic... Most of the ones that didn't start out as heroines may have done stripping while they were in college simply because willingness to step outside social moral norms is a plus in fieldwork. Anyone with a little power might work out as they would be able to cover for Sue, but the issue there is that they would be as likely to blackmail Sue as the other way around. One possibility that merits thought is Agent Cheesecake. This character is a Life Model Decoy designed to seduce targets. Cheesecake might consider stripping to be honing her seduction skills and might buy that Sue was doing the same as the heroine's hotness has distracted major villains in the past. Cheesecake might helps Sue out as a professional courtesy without even realizing she was being used.
I for one love the demonic variant of this storyline. People tend to contribute when the story fuels a passion within *and* they have vision that throws gasoline on that fire. As long as that is happening, the muses and the author are really working hand in hand to turn out chapters. Sometimes a story will take a turn that may leave one author without as much inspiration. It isn't the fault of the other authors nor a comment on the quality or worth of the story. It simply means that author has less to contribute until they either adjust to the current direction or find another deep seated passions to pursue within the current direction. That is where I find myself at the moment and in my experience it is better to apply the ideas I do have for that story to proposed chapters and message board topics than to try to force out a chapter as my forced chapters tend to derail others as well.
I also feel guilty of derailing Colleem earlier on by shaping one of his expressed ideas about Johnny in the story. I honestly felt I was helping at the time but it definitely took away from what he was planning to write so I do feel badly about it and apologize again.
My suggestion to you is not to wait for me and to keep writing. It is a good story and a lot of fun.
by colleem - 2/22/2014 8:53 AM
CC :) dont worry. I really liked your Setup with Johnny and you shouldn´t feel sorry about it. The Story is interessting to read. I won´t write anything for the next time. Still fighting with me if i should write a new chapter for the Masterplan... or not :)
by exidor455 - 2/22/2014 9:08 AM
CorruptionCentral - I'm glad you're enjoying the Mephisto storyline. Any ideas for a direction you'd like the story to go? I'm kind of trying to hold off on Sue giving in completely to the dark side as long as possible because once that happens, I'm not sure where else it could go. But she has to give in a bit or there would be no fun and games. I welcome any ideas! :)
by CorruptionCentral - 2/22/2014 9:28 AM
OK, some ideas on the Mephisto storyline:
- Kingpin wouldn't have brought Hellstorm in unless he had something that he could give Hellstorm for services rendered... Like the use of MJ and the Seed of Sin within her.
- With the Hellstorm breaking Mephisto's connection with MJ and trying to bind her to himself (which may or may not work), Kingpin is calling Reed to tell him that the hero has a choice. He can finish Kingpin off or he can get his ass and as much backup as he can arrange to Mephisto's realm to save his wife; that is unless he wishes to kiss the harlot goodbye. As soon as Reed is off the phone, Kingpin turns evidence of Reed's attack over to SHIELD and has his lawyers put leans on all assets of Reed Richards and the Fantastic Four for damages to his property, savings, and reputation.
- Reed needs to deal with his rage, what he has done, and what he is going to do. I would have Dr Strange appear immediately to act as the voice of reason to try to get Reed thinking straight (maybe it works, maybe he blows Kingpin to Kingdom Come, but if he does the latter he damn well better have a plan for dealing with Mephisto in his own realm as no one will go with him).
by exidor455 - 2/22/2014 9:43 AM
Good ideas! I'm not really familiar with Hellstrom but am more than happy for you to pick up the story and write something along the lines you suggest. It would be nice to see MJ getting further corrupted too. :)
by exidor455 - 2/25/2014 5:31 AM
I've carried on and made a couple of additions to the Sue & Mephisto story line.
I think it might be fun for the FF, Strange and Doom to fall into a trap and be confronted with the new evil Sue. Maybe she could undergo a demonic transformation after taking Mephisto's "Dark Communion", but I think I'd rather she stayed in her normal form, only a more sexed up, evil version. I welcome any thoughts or suggestions! :)
by CorruptionCentral - 2/25/2014 10:04 AM
Sounds good to me :-) Want some food for thought? Maybe the Dark Seed gives her the ability to change forms, among other things she hasn't found yet. Right now it might be far more reflexive than conscious. Like her short but fashionable fingernails grow longer and become deeply red with beautiful gold patterns. Her makeup becomes darkly slutty makeup. When Mephisto tells her that her rescuers have arrived she instinctively manifests cloths like her her most revealing costume but the heels on the thigh high boots are 6" stilettos, the color scheme is black satin with gold trim, and the 4 'cleavage window' is relapced with a 5" diameter gold trimmed open hole with a gold hexagram.
I started working on a chapter where MJ is gang banged by Spidey criminals while Hellstorm tried to bind the dark seed within her to himself. Right now I am in the set up where MJ is watching the news coverage and where Kingpin has framed Peter Parker as part of the planning team for Reed's act of terrorism. Anyway, I plan to bring it right to the point where Hellstorm is at the door of success before turning it over. Maybe that can be used by you in the trap/confrontation between Mephisto & Reed.
by exidor455 - 2/25/2014 10:17 AM
Yeah, her physical form could change subtly to reflect her new sluttier nature but I'd want her to still be recognizable as Sue. That will just make it all the sweeter when she meets up with the rest of the FF. Maybe she could have the unconscious ability to alter her form slightly in response to the desires of whoever meets her, making her the ultimate seductress?
I look forward to reading what you're got lined up for MJ! :)
by exidor455 - 2/25/2014 4:31 PM
Hey CorruptionCentral, I took your idea for Sue and ran with it, but with some small changes to the costume to suit my own taste! I hope you don't mind. I loved your MJ chapter so please feel free to hop back to that. :)
by CorruptionCentral - 2/25/2014 9:16 PM
Loved Sues look and attitude. It might be a couple days before I post again.
by exidor455 - 2/26/2014 2:56 AM
Cool, glad you like the new chapter. I probably won't post for a few days either, unless sudden inspiration strikes! I look forward to your next chapter(s).
by exidor455 - 2/28/2014 6:58 AM
Just had a different idea for the Mephisto storyline - Going back a step from my last chapter, what if Mephisto and Evil Sue trick the heroes and Doom into thinking they've rescued her. They find her captive as herself, fight to rescue her, make it back to their plane and think everything's OK, but when she;s alone, Sue drops the act and reveals her true self - the sexy look I described in my latest chapter. Then she could get up to all sorts of depraved fun, unsuspected.
Just a thought. I don't want to clutter the place up with too many alternative off-shoots and I'm happy to keep things going along the lines they are now if you'd prefer. :)
by CorruptionCentral - 2/28/2014 8:54 AM
I think there's a way to do both. I just added another potential chapter where the heroes escape with Sue. Maybe when Mespisto screams from the pain of Hellstroms spell, Sue changes back, or so the heroes think. Of course fleeing instead of killing Mephisto would anger Doom. If Sue had completely accepted her new life, it would all be a ruse to further mess with the heroes
by exidor455 - 2/28/2014 9:01 AM
That's just what I was thinking! Your chapter was excellent so I'll pick up from there. See what you think of my next post. :)
by CorruptionCentral - 2/28/2014 9:43 AM
Love the last chapter. I think that now Sue has embrace both the Seed of Sin And the Dark Seed, her cosmic powers are being augmented by her growing demonic/succubus powers. Specifically, she can mask demonic nature/abilities as much or as little as she wants, even from Reed and Strange. Hellstrom has always had a fixation on his ex wife Hellcat, that is where Mephisto would most likely go for revenge. Maybe Mephisto has Lustae or Sue manipulate Johnny into suggesting that Hellcat might be of help. Reed also has to keep the authorities at bay so maybe we can get some of Sue's Avenger friends into the Baxter building to negotiate the stand off with Reed & help Sue? Just throwing out ideas here. I'll write something tonight after work. If you have some feedback, please drop a note here ;-)
by exidor455 - 2/28/2014 10:01 AM
Thanks! I like the idea of Sue's team-mates thinking she's back to normal now, but her secretly being a super-succubus. Should keep things interesting, and would give her the chance to corrupt others without attracting suspicion. Maybe the Wasp and/or She-Hulk? I'm not very familiar with the Hellcat character but please feel free to write her in. :)
by CorruptionCentral - 3/1/2014 6:06 AM
YAY! A new Sleazy Reporter Chapter :-) I love it, by the way ;-) What do you think of subliminals in the music for Wasp and Sue? Maybe the girls upload some new songs for the act for the heroines to listen to that start easing them into an even more promiscuous point of view. As for at the party, maybe after the girls drug the heroines, Mandy lures Janet away while the geek shows a strangely receptive Sue his 'sonic screw driver' in his room?
As to Mephisto chapters, I am having trouble visualizing how bad girl Felicia seduces a devastated Peter... Maybe she gets him drunk first?
Keep up the god work :D
by exidor455 - 3/1/2014 6:29 AM
Glad you like it! Yes, I like the idea of subliminals in the music, acting along with the drug to make Sue and Janet more slutty, and open to "new experiences". I also think it's time for Sue to go beyond stripping and start to discover the joys of adultery.
Yeah, maybe Felicia could fix them both a drink and then try to seduce him. I think it might be too soon for her to actually succeed though. Maybe she comes on too strong, he leaves her and then she goes looking for someone more willing - a villain?
I have an idea for a further chapter introducing She Hulk and the Wasp, so I'll post that some time today. :)
by CorruptionCentral - 3/1/2014 6:02 PM
Exidor, if you want to discuss either flavor of the Susan's Secret Life please email me.
by CJ - 3/2/2014 8:43 PM
I also liked the subliminals in the music idea and have gone with it in the latest chapter.
I also planned for Sue to run into a slight issue with her excuse. My thought was that with her supposedly being away on a mission for the Avengers that she can't go home to the Baxter Building every night. This was necitate that she or rather Suzanne get a place to stay. This would also serve to further isolate her from her family and the hero community and push her furhter into the world of sin.
Really hope somone decides to write Janet's interview, I don't think I could do it justice. I was thinking that just to make Ralph seem more an honest man and less like a pervert that he would have Sue be the one to act as the client for the lap dance. Might stir some lesbian attraction between the two.
Later on down the line I was thinking of having Janet design a line of festish clothes under a psuedonym and convince her fellow strippers to act as models for the fashion line.
by CorruptionCentral - 3/3/2014 5:32 AM
Here's another suggestion for the excuse... Sue brings up that so far she has been able mission. to avoid detection on pure luck based on the over active lives of the men, but that luck can't last. Janet laughs that she's been playing off her business against the Avengers leaving both thinking that she's which the other but now the heroines need something better. Jan checks her Avenger laptop for potential missions and chooses to do a'long term covert investigation' of a possible cell of Superia's Femizons in a remote mountain location listing reserve member Susan as her partner. Before Sue can react, Jan confirms the mission. When Sue has second thoughts Jan calms her down saying that Sue simply needs to record a video to tell her family she's on a mission and all's well, besides it will serve the boys right to have to take care of everything for a few weeks. For the mission all they have to do is give a quick all is well check twice a day and a quick activity report daily. Black Widow has disappeared for months doing that before and Jan can use some of hanks inventions to use the local insect life to do all the spying for them
by exidor455 - 3/3/2014 5:42 AM
I like the idea of the fake mission! That should give the girls the breathing space they need.
As for the subliminals, how about Ralph having a contact in the R&D department at Oscorp who has worked on that sort of thing? Maybe Ralph did an expose on it a few years back. He could get in touch with this contact and ask him to prepare the subliminals, for a price.
What ideas do we have for Wasp's alter-ego Janice, and how she wants the perception filter to change her appearance? Sue has her latex fetish, but what's Jan's kink? Any ideas?
by CorruptionCentral - 3/3/2014 7:00 AM
I would start with body art; racy and daring but not outright pornigraphic or cutesy erotic. I like the idea of leather but actually like the idea of something more like the Twin Peaks restaurant uniform without the plaid.
I also had an idea for Jan meeting Ralph. Jan has always been flirty. Well maybe she finds Ralph attractive from the start. Maybe when she and Sue meet up with him, Sue gives him a friendly kiss... Just a peck on lips or cheek, but it spurs her competiviness. Jan gets ultra flirty and gives a great performance, all but the lap dance. While very good it's missing something. Sue demonstrates a better one where she rubs her PVC clad pussy in the mans appreciative face and he gets to kiss her ass, boobs, and panties repeatedly. Instead of turning Jan off, it makes her very horny & competitive
by exidor455 - 3/3/2014 7:05 AM
That all sounds good to me. So who wants to write up the next chapter?
And has anyone got any particular ideas for how they'd like the Mephisto storyline to move forward?
by CorruptionCentral - 3/3/2014 8:49 AM
I think its time for Mephisto to stop licking his wounds and do something to hurt Hellstrom. In the past, Mephisto has captured Hellcat, Hellstrom's ex, multiple times and even held her in hell for months fighting in his arena of tainted souls. This time he is going to take her permanently away.... He has one of Cupid's arrows and a flask of Asgardian love potion al a the Enchantress. Mixed with his Dark Seed, the mystic love items become a dark and evil looking arrow that even a scratch of which will make a mortal the obsessive devoted and willing slave of Mephisto, but a heart shot will make Hellcat his perfect consort. Mephisto will have Lustae send Johnny to the Defenders in search of Hellcat while she waits outside with the arrow.
I'll try to write the Mephisto chapter later today. If you all want, I can try my hand at the Ralph meeting as well, but I will check here first to see if either of you would rather do it :)
by exidor455 - 3/3/2014 8:59 AM
Sounds good! I'm happy for you to write both chapters, unless CJ would rather tackle the meeting with Ralph?
by CorruptionCentral - 3/3/2014 6:29 PM
OK, one down and halfway through writing the Sleazy reporter chapter. Hopefully it works for everyone :)
by CorruptionCentral - 3/3/2014 10:20 PM
OK, both chapters are out. I hope you guys like them :)
by CJ - 3/4/2014 2:55 AM
Loved the chapter you added to sleazy reporter CorrutionCentral.
You do a far better job with the dialogue between character than I do.
My thoughts on direction for the story are that Janet's impulsive actions to create an alibi have a minor negative effect. In other words if Sue and Jan are supposed to be on stakeout out of the country then how can they go home every night. Which means they need a place to stay. I was originally thinking of at least Sue or rather Suzanne getting a cheap apartment in a 'bad' neighborhood. Was thinking maybe have a neighbor who is a prostitute.
Maybe have Ralph arrange things, don't think he would want them to stay with him given his materials they shouldn't see.
I also like the trust angle, remember that Sue hasn't admitted who Janice really is yet, even if Ralph already knows.
On another note I was thinking that a possible means of sliding the girls into prostituion, given the show of trust and affection for Ralph that CC has developed, how about a 'crime boss' (who could be fake) decide Ralph owes him a large amount of money. Possible something Sue and/or Jan do is the cause. This would place pressure on Sue and Jan to fix the situation, a few plausible issues why the women can't use their real ID funds (such as too traceable) and the only way to produce the money may be to do a few prostitute jobs.
What do you think?
by exidor455 - 3/4/2014 3:42 AM
I also love the new chapters!
CJ, I like the idea of Sue and Jan getting an apartment together, and I also like the idea of them having to settle the debt for Ralph with a crime boss, fake or not. :)
by CorruptionCentral - 3/4/2014 6:06 AM
Love it, love it, love it. Here is an angle for the wrinkle they didn't see coming. They were planning on living in Jan's apartment, but first realize that is a bad idea when they realize they are causing too much attention as other residents glare at the scantily clad women as they enter the building. The real kicker though is when they get to the apartment they discover that Jan's college age niece has shown up and found the video Jan left for the maid service telling them she is on long term assignment. With no adult supervision the girl has moved party central into the high rise. As the heroines are panicking from a hiding place down the hall, the building supervisor shows up with security and in the confusion they use Sue's powers to sneak in and get what they need. From there they need Ralph's help to find a place to live which further reinforce trust and affection they have for him.
If you want me to work on the above angle I can probably get a chapter out tonight or tomorrow morning.
by CJ - 3/4/2014 3:10 PM
I love you twist CC. I can really see the high class residents of someplace Janet van Dyne would live would not be pleased by having strippers around. I can even see them calling the police thinking they are hookers.
I really like the idea of the college age niece of Jan's screwing up their plans. As for all the things they need, don't forget they would need the perception filter device to keep up their disguises.
We could even make it so that since getting the device was so important to their plans they missed a lot of other minor things and need to go shopping. Maybe Mandy and Trixx can take them. It might be amusing to have the upscale ladies having to shop in normal stores and poor areas while having to keep a budget of what they are making stripping.
I also had the thought that this could be a good angle for getting Ralph in trouble (fake or not), with having Ralph 'borrow' the money from a loan shark to get them the apartment (also thought about a car since some of the jobs might require mobility, but most in New York don't have cars and it might be an interesting scene with them on a subway or bus with the 'normal' people after years of being wealthy enough to take taxis). The ladies plan to repay the loan with money from the real life when they are once more able to access it. Then have the shark call the marker in early due to his own problems and Ralph is in trouble.
Also had the idea that the ladies could try to pull money off a credit card of van Dyne or Richards to help Ralpha and get in trouble for theft and barely avoid the police OR actually get caught. We could say the perception fileter is so complete that their finger prints are different. Of course they would have to call in a lawyer and who should they trust more than Jen Walters, the Sensational She-Hulk.
I had the idea that this might be during one of the times that she can't transform, and given her known love of her hulk form and the way it makes her more confident and outgoing, what would happen if Sue and Jan let her in on the secret while explaining how they got in trouble. While Jen can't tranform into She-Hulk she can transform into a sexier form that allows her to act how some of those repressed fantasies that cause She-Hulks extroverted behaviour.
Also since Jen Walters has problems with keeping a job, due to villains attacking her office, she can't provide the money to get them out of the mess, especially with court costs and fines on top of everything else. So the ladies are back at square one, when Mandy or Trixx suggest prostitution could help them raise the money a lot faster:). Maybe set up a moral dilemna in that the other possibility they were considering was using their powers to commit a crime by robbing someone though they were trying to find a criminal like a drug dealer or something.
What do you guys think?
by CorruptionCentral - 3/4/2014 6:36 PM
CJ: We think alike on the money issues. I had similar ideas on having to get in and out of the apartment quickly. The girls go directly to the private den and get what they need including a pym particle devise to shrink & enlarge the items as needed, including the perception filter. Before they can get anything else, they here the kids returning and have to sneak out with the clothes on their back, the equipment, and about $2500 the two of them made at the party the night before. Ralph helps them get a cheap place on Yancy Street but as they are concerned that their apt might get robbed, maybe they leave most go it with Ralph. That way they need to spend time with him daily.
I love the idea of the heroines getting a heaping helping of life on low income. My idea for how the 'debt' comes into play is similar to what happens in the Anger Management movie. Ralph gets some dirty cops to harass them as suspected prostitutes. The heroines stick up for Mandy & Trixx and get arrested for solicitation and resisting arrest. The judge is crooked too and let's them out on $50,000 bond. Other than being in a real slammer and taken to a real court, it's all staged, but that sets up muscle from a loan shark.
I will work on the chapter through getting a new apartment. I also want to throw in the trust angle for Sue where she gives up secrets without a second thought to Ralph.
by CJ - 3/4/2014 7:41 PM
CC: I like your play on getting away from the apartment with the clothes on their backs. It is also a good method of having them interact with Ralph more often. Don't recognize the Yancy street reference. Never been to NY.
Glad you like the idea of having the heroines experience life on the other side. I thougth it would be an interesting approach considering these heroines live on the high side and never worry about money for day to day needs.
On the fake arrest, I like the setup of the dirty cops to harass and gettting Sue and Jan to stick up for Mandy and Trixx to get themselves into trouble. My thing with the bail is that in real life a bail bondsman would only require 10 percent which is only 5,000 for the bond. Though you might be able to spin things so that their lack of a full background and identification would make it so none of the legetimate bail bondsmen would touch it.
Also on the actual prostitution should it be a one time option to make enough money setup or having a constant pressure with several clients while trying to make enough while reminding themselves why they are doing it.
Also no comment on the possibility of bringing in Jen Walters/She-Hulk?
by CorruptionCentral - 3/4/2014 8:37 PM
First, Yancy Street is a part of the Fantastic Four story and not a real area in New York. It represents old & proud neighborhoods that haven't seen better days for a boatload of decades. Anyway it is full of tough people, both good as well as those that are on the wrong side of the law.
I love the issue that they do not have verifiable identities and that Bail Bondsman won't touch them. It would take at least 6 months before they went to trial in NYC too. (Actually I found some sources that said the average time was almost 2 years, but 6 months is enough).
The Jen Walter's angle is very interesting and will be fun. It will be interesting to see how to involve her without her interrupting the Ralph's set up to put financial pressure on the girls. Maybe the 'Court case' is sealed by the Judge who really has a problem with Jen. Not that she couldn't file papers to get access, but it would take longer than the trial date
As to prostitution pressure, I like the constant pressure option. Maybe it starts out that they are barely keeping up with the loan shark interest with their intense stripping schedule and start doing occasional extras. From there it grows as they try to pay off the huge debt.
I'm running way behind. I didn't get three lines written on a chapter. I hope I can do better tomorrow.
by CorruptionCentral - 3/5/2014 8:53 PM
OK, finally got the next Sleazy reporter chapter out there. I hope it is good for you guys. I think for the next few days I am going to concentrate my writing on the Mephsito version, but I am always up to discuss either version :)
by ESchorcho - 3/6/2014 11:10 AM
As I've said on the comments wall I'm loving the Mephisto side of the story and can't wait to see where you guys take it. One thing that I would like to see is Sue's more demonic side come out a little more. To actually see her demon form. This doesn't necessarily need to happen when she is with Kingpin or with any of the other actual humans but maybe there could be scenes where Sue communicates with Mephisto through a mirror and Sue's true form could show up. Similar to the demonic look earlier in the story but maybe a little enhanced. I think it would be good to know that her and Mephisto are very much in league and that their plans are working perfectly.As for She Hulk and Wasp, since they also have the seed of sin are their own demonic traits going to start show since they have given in so soon and Sue gave them the seed of sin? I guess I would like to see more of the demonic side to all of this, but that also doesn't mean that I want things to change too much. Again, you guys are doing excellent work.
by CorruptionCentral - 3/7/2014 6:43 AM
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">ESchorcho:
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sorry no one has responded before now. I've been in a work emergency the last two days & 12 hour work days doesn't leave a lot of time or energy for writing. Today will be similar but with a little luck we can finish enough that we don't have to work the weekend.
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am glad you are enjoying the story so far. I like your idea for glimpses of demonic Sue. Here is where I am story wise,assuming I can start writing again soon: Anzalth's chapter has me somewhat derailed. Keeping the Richards children, who have been mentioned multiple times, relatively safe and out of the action is important to me, especially since one of them nearly destroyed Mephisto with an emotional outburst before. So as a group, how do we handle this? Do we drop the children altogether in this story? Do we ignore Anzalth's chapter? Does demon Sue tear She Hulk's soul from her body, drag her to Mephisto's realm, inflict UNGODLY damage to Shukie's soul until she realizes that taking Reed from the children is endangering them and while Sue is a demon, she will still fuck you up beyond belief if you even look cross eyed at the kids... I don't know & would like some consensus.
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I also posted a HUGH chapter for the sleazy reporter story that has drawn zero attention; no rating, no comments, no follow on chapters, and not even addition next chapters added. Two days of no reaction is a good sign I missed the mark so I'm not comfortable adding to that version as well.
by ESchorcho - 3/7/2014 10:35 AM
I can see how She Hulk wearing Reed as a dress, while kind of erotic, is a problem for what has come before. He is supposed to be Jan and Jen's loyal fucktoy but he is also supposed to be a huge asset in the Fantastic Four and a doting and happy father. The emphasis on the doting and happy father to keep up appearances should be good. Maybe Jen could wear him when the kids are asleep or something?But this could also be where Sue comes in and shows her demonic look. She could visit the Fantastic Four, maybe telling Ben and Johnny she managed to slip away from the Kingpin for a short time and she needs to get back but she needed to see how things were going there. She could appear to be the kind and genuine Sue that everyone knew and loved. Maybe Johnny, after he is done with the business with Hellcat (which is its own discussion in its own right) tells Ben to leave Sue and the ladies alone. Then, perhaps Sue can show some of her demonic powers by either lifting a glamor that to the outside viewer looks like the women are talking calmly but in reality Sue is in full demon visage and is scolding Jen and Janet for being so foolish with their toy and if they continue to be so sloppy someone will catch onto their master's plans. At this point Jen and Janet could show smaller demonic traits too since the Seed of Sin continues to devour their innocence. Maybe then the scene could shift from the earthly realm to Mephisto's where the hell lord is overjoyed at this development and could even cause the women to all cum at being such wonderful slaves on earth.Thoughts? You could even have a scene where Mephisto could wake Sue up as she's sleeping with Kingpin. She could go to the mirror and it shows Mephisto starring back at her and he could tell her what has been going on at the Baxter Building. Sends his minion to take care of things for him.I would add to the story but like you, life has been rather busy lately. Keep up the good work!
by exidor455 - 3/8/2014 5:51 AM
CorruptionCentral - I loved the new sleazy reporter chapter. Sorry it's taken a while to comment or rate it but I've been rather tied up this week. I don't know when I'll get the chance to add any chapters myself but am happy to read your stuff for the time being, so keep going with it. :)
In the Mephisto storyline, I like the idea of the girls all showing a more demonic side. Maybe Jen and Jan share Sue's ability to influence how other see them, and take on a more demonic form when no-one's around or if they're with Mephisto? I like the mirror idea too.
I don't think the notion of Jen wearing Reed as a suit is necessarily a problem but only if she does it briefly for her own enjoyment. I'd want him to go on being the dutiful father and keep the kids out of the story. They'd just complicate things.
I like the idea of Sue having to come and punish Jen and Jan for stepping over the line. She was the one who turned them so they're her minions, and she would probably have to remind them who's boss every now and than. Again, I don;t know if I'll get the chance to write anything for a while but please carry on. I'm having fun reading the story as it rolls along. :)
-RE: Discussion of Susan's Secret Life by colleem - 3/10/2014 6:06 AM
by CorruptionCentral - 3/9/2014 5:16 PM
Sorry it took so long to respond. I've worked every day for over a week now and tonight is the first night in a long while I have any time or energy. I will work on a follow up chapter to the Mephisto version. I like the takes/ideas provided by ESchorcho & Exidor and they give me a starting point. Thanks Colleem for the support. I think I might have something to post tomorrow night.
--RE: Discussion of Susan's Secret Life by exidor455 - 3/15/2014 8:38 AM
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RE: Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto continued? by secondchance Created on Jul 23 2014 5:33PM
RE: Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto continued? by ESchorcho Created on Jul 23 2014 11:21AM
RE: Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto continued? by colleem Created on Jul 23 2014 11:08AM
RE: Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto continued? by exidor455 Created on Jul 23 2014 10:17AM
RE: Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto continued? by ESchorcho Created on Jul 23 2014 8:47AM
Looking for a story. by KamenRiderWolf Created on Jul 21 2014 11:50PM
RE: Adding images? by MacroLass Created on Jul 20 2014 9:46AM
RE: Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto continued? by exidor455 Created on Jul 20 2014 9:27AM
RE: Adding images? by mercury01 Created on Jul 19 2014 10:55PM
RE: Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto continued? by secondchance Created on Jul 19 2014 8:55PM
RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion by MacroLass Created on Jul 23 2014 7:24PM
RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion by ESchorcho Created on Jul 23 2014 3:17PM
RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion by MacroLass Created on Jul 23 2014 1:23PM
RE: Superia-ority Complex by MacroLass Created on Jul 20 2014 11:57PM
RE: Superia-ority Complex by MacroLass Created on Jul 20 2014 11:51PM
RE: Superia-ority Complex by Blue_Man Created on Jul 20 2014 6:43PM
A Thought on Working Stiffs by MacroLass Created on Jul 18 2014 6:45PM
RE: X-Men Stepford Submssion by ESchorcho Created on Jul 17 2014 10:00AM
Superia-ority Complex by MacroLass Created on Jul 16 2014 1:25PM
RE: Hags & Trolls by DeMonic Created on Jul 3 2014 2:42AM
RE: C.King resent works by gothamalleyviper Created on Jun 26 2014 9:19PM
RE: C.King resent works by gothamalleyviper Created on Jun 26 2014 9:14PM
RE: C.King resent works by C.King Created on Jun 26 2014 8:23PM
RE: C.King resent works by C.King Created on Jun 26 2014 8:22PM
C.King resent works by gothamalleyviper Created on Jun 26 2014 8:03PM
Wonder women by Peterchoong11 Created on Jun 21 2014 3:55AM
RE: The story chapter went own agenda on me by abashful1 Created on Feb 25 2014 12:15PM
The story chapter went own agenda on me by gothamalleyviper Created on Feb 25 2014 7:20AM
RE: SheVenom and Starfire by CALIBAN3K Created on Jul 6 2013 2:36AM
SheVenom and Starfire by nickfav69 Created on Jul 4 2013 9:00PM
ESchorcho - 7/23/2014 3:19 PM
Great chapter, MacroLass. Thanks for adding. Check the message board.
MacroLass - 7/23/2014 12:42 PM
Ask and ye shall receive. I just wrote a new chapter.
ESchorcho - 7/23/2014 11:46 AM
MacroLass, are you interested in continuing the X-Men Stepford storyline? Was just wondering where you were going to go with the Gambit part.
exidor455 - 7/23/2014 10:09 AM
Thanks ESchorcho! Feel free to chip in with any ideas and/or chapters! :)
ESchorcho - 7/23/2014 7:21 AM
Nice work, exidor455 on the new Susan Storm's Secret Life chapter. I really enjoy this storyline. Thanks for keeping it going.
exidor455 - 7/23/2014 4:25 AM
Added a new chapter to Susan Storm's Secret Life - Mephisto thread. :)
XFAN - 7/20/2014 8:09 PM
If you head over to Hypnopics C.King there is a decent Queen Bee story.
C.King - 7/20/2014 3:58 PM
For those who don't know, Peter's Ex Amanda was played by Jeri Ryan, Kate Logan by Tia Carrere, and Doc Kelly by Paula Garcés. H.G. was played by Jaime Murray.
C.King - 7/20/2014 3:35 PM
Given Young Justice Cartoon villain Queen Bee's powers, especially how it was displayed in the spin off comic's last issue... Why no one has used a Queen Bee fanfiction, especially erotic fanfiction.
rakasur - 7/20/2014 4:44 AM
I really like Superia-ority Complex, it's a very good story.
I hope to see also heroine of DC like Wonder Woman and Mary Marvel.
I hope also to see confrontation between Superia and Amora, Circe, Lorelei, a gender-bender Thor and other Godess.
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