The First Change Corrections

by gothamalleyviper - 2/10/2014 5:28 PM

Evva, I am not trying to be a jerk, but I took the liberty of going throw your post and editing it.  You can use this to update your post if you want.  Or Not.  Personally I can tell English is not your first langue, so I hope this helps.  Personally I would like to know what is your primary langue and see your first draft in that langue.

The first change By Evva

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>The night had just fallen over San Francisco, covering the sky with a long and dark star spangled tapestry. While it was very different from the usual Gotham City night, it was a very welcome change for Robin. He just spent a whole month hunting heroin shipments coming from Asia directly to Gotham for distribution to the east coast. A lot of hard work for both him and his on again off again girlfriend Stephanie Brown, also known as the Batgirl. By the end of this week their operation worked very well. The shipment had been burnt, the boat was on the ocean bottom, and all with no causalities!  The Zodiac Tong lost hundreds of millions dollars on this transaction!  Both he and Stephanie agreed what they did over a Chinatown rooftop one night was just to relieve the tension and not the return of their relationship.

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'> 

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>A long weekend on monitor watch at the titan tower was called for.  It was where he and Connor could spend some quality time, chat and maybe even relax for a while.  He had been welcomed by the tower permanent residents when all of that changed; all the horizon line looked like a huge blood red crack and it was leaking with some strange white-purple light which bathed the room for a while. It didn't matter where Tim looked, he just was saw this crack and the strange light.

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'> 

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>Suddenly there was a white-purplish flash which bathed the Titans Tower, it slowly faded away and the deep blood red crack all around the tower closed. Where Timothy Jackson Wayne (Drake before the adoption) had been there was another person. She wasn't wearing the usual red, and black red robin uniform. The uniform looked very close to Tim's uniform, except she wasn't wearing a cowl, but just a mask very close to kind the Huntress wore, letting her mid back hair flow freely over her back. The girl was about the same height as Timothy and had very similar body language. She stood exactly where Timothy had been and she was looking very confused, like Tim did.

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'> 

<span style='color: black; line-height: 107%; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>"Where am I?  What are my teen mates? Why are is a boy at the Muses tower?" she said trying to not look like she still in control over the situation.


RE: The First Change Corrections

by Evva - 2/11/2014 8:20 AM

Thanks for the corrections. It is the better way to learn where my english still need to improve


RE: The First Change Corrections

by gothamalleyviper - 2/11/2014 8:25 PM

If you want, you can email me, just add @yahoo.com to my screen name


Site

RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by C.King Created on Sep 1 2015 5:47PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by LesLes Created on Sep 1 2015 4:35PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by gothamalleyviper Created on Sep 1 2015 12:02AM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by C.King Created on Aug 29 2015 6:05PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by gothamalleyviper Created on Aug 29 2015 5:00PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by C.King Created on Aug 29 2015 4:45PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by C.King Created on Aug 29 2015 4:44PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by gothamalleyviper Created on Aug 29 2015 3:49PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by C.King Created on Aug 29 2015 3:13PM
RE: Idea: Sex of Redemption or Corruption by gothamalleyviper Created on Aug 29 2015 2:40PM
    

Addventure

RE: Gotham City Sirens by Grimmer Created on Aug 31 2015 8:24PM
RE: Incredible(s) Invasion by solddate Created on Aug 31 2015 7:42PM
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RE: Gotham City Sirens by LesLes Created on Aug 31 2015 2:08PM
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RE: Gotham City Sirens by LesLes Created on Aug 29 2015 6:21PM
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RE: Gotham City Sirens by Grimmer Created on Aug 29 2015 5:45PM
RE: Gotham City Sirens by LesLes Created on Aug 29 2015 5:37PM
    

Stories

RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by ESchorcho Created on Aug 26 2015 10:18PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by gothamalleyviper Created on Aug 24 2015 5:22PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by ESchorcho Created on Aug 7 2015 3:44PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by ESchorcho Created on Jul 24 2015 8:00AM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by gothamalleyviper Created on Jul 23 2015 8:45PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by ESchorcho Created on Jul 23 2015 7:58PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by gothamalleyviper Created on Jul 23 2015 5:58PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by ESchorcho Created on Jul 22 2015 10:04AM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by gothamalleyviper Created on Jul 18 2015 11:22PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by ESchorcho Created on Jul 14 2015 10:09PM
    

SuperStories Wall


LesLes - 8/31/2015 1:41 PM
Yes, and I don't know any way to fix it :-( Hopefully @superstories can delete the bad entry?
colleem - 8/31/2015 1:39 PM
I think this went wrong lesles :)
C.King - 8/29/2015 12:10 PM
Two ideas posted in Boards. One on Addvenure and on by accident on site.
gothamalleyviper - 8/28/2015 10:09 PM
I couldn't decide so I did both. Let me know what people think. And feel free to use either or both...
JimmyKasche - 8/28/2015 4:53 PM
I like the sound of Pink Bat personally... though Batgirl is one letter off from Badgirl... just saying <-< >->
wfx - 8/26/2015 9:18 PM
First off, thanks LesLes. High praise from you. Viper, I actually have no idea what might happen to Babs (I at least have ideas for the others), so more than feel free to run with whatever you have. I'll be glad to see it.
gothamalleyviper - 8/26/2015 5:09 PM
So Wonder Woman with a Flip, I had an idea for Barbara (no latex involved) and I just saw a Halloween costume at the store that has me rethinking it. So Pink Bat or Black Cop?
ESchorcho - 8/25/2015 10:30 AM
Great Rubber Queen chapter, GAV!
Dark Z - 8/25/2015 6:37 AM
Awesome chapters, especially the reign of the rubber queen
gothamalleyviper - 8/24/2015 5:20 PM
A bunch of posts, please share thoughts and feedback



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