The First Change Corrections

by gothamalleyviper - 2/10/2014 5:28 PM

Evva, I am not trying to be a jerk, but I took the liberty of going throw your post and editing it.  You can use this to update your post if you want.  Or Not.  Personally I can tell English is not your first langue, so I hope this helps.  Personally I would like to know what is your primary langue and see your first draft in that langue.

The first change By Evva

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>The night had just fallen over San Francisco, covering the sky with a long and dark star spangled tapestry. While it was very different from the usual Gotham City night, it was a very welcome change for Robin. He just spent a whole month hunting heroin shipments coming from Asia directly to Gotham for distribution to the east coast. A lot of hard work for both him and his on again off again girlfriend Stephanie Brown, also known as the Batgirl. By the end of this week their operation worked very well. The shipment had been burnt, the boat was on the ocean bottom, and all with no causalities!  The Zodiac Tong lost hundreds of millions dollars on this transaction!  Both he and Stephanie agreed what they did over a Chinatown rooftop one night was just to relieve the tension and not the return of their relationship.

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'> 

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>A long weekend on monitor watch at the titan tower was called for.  It was where he and Connor could spend some quality time, chat and maybe even relax for a while.  He had been welcomed by the tower permanent residents when all of that changed; all the horizon line looked like a huge blood red crack and it was leaking with some strange white-purple light which bathed the room for a while. It didn't matter where Tim looked, he just was saw this crack and the strange light.

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'> 

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>Suddenly there was a white-purplish flash which bathed the Titans Tower, it slowly faded away and the deep blood red crack all around the tower closed. Where Timothy Jackson Wayne (Drake before the adoption) had been there was another person. She wasn't wearing the usual red, and black red robin uniform. The uniform looked very close to Tim's uniform, except she wasn't wearing a cowl, but just a mask very close to kind the Huntress wore, letting her mid back hair flow freely over her back. The girl was about the same height as Timothy and had very similar body language. She stood exactly where Timothy had been and she was looking very confused, like Tim did.

<span style='color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'> 

<span style='color: black; line-height: 107%; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";'>"Where am I?  What are my teen mates? Why are is a boy at the Muses tower?" she said trying to not look like she still in control over the situation.

-RE: The First Change Corrections by Evva - 2/11/2014 8:20 AM
--RE: The First Change Corrections by gothamalleyviper - 2/11/2014 8:25 PM

In Progress

Search subject of article for the word:
Search for articles by:


Search Results



Site

RE: FPVH DC by gothamalleyviper Created on Sep 25 2017 9:33AM
RE: Childern of the Bat by gothamalleyviper Created on Sep 19 2017 6:17PM
RE: FPVH DC by exidor455 Created on Sep 15 2017 7:47PM
RE: FPVH DC by gothamalleyviper Created on Sep 8 2017 2:16PM
RE: FPVH DC by C.King Created on Sep 8 2017 12:20PM
FPVH DC by gothamalleyviper Created on Sep 8 2017 10:32AM
RE: Childern of the Bat by Evva Created on Sep 6 2017 11:33AM
RE: Childern of the Bat by gothamalleyviper Created on Sep 6 2017 10:07AM
RE: Childern of the Bat by Evva Created on Sep 6 2017 9:18AM
RE: Childern of the Bat by gothamalleyviper Created on Sep 5 2017 9:11AM
    

Addventure

RE: Restarting older stories by colleem Created on Oct 18 2017 12:09PM
RE: Restarting older stories by JimmyKasche Created on Oct 17 2017 3:09PM
RE: Devilish Women and the Queens of Sin by Yang Xiao Long Created on Oct 13 2017 2:55PM
RE: Devilish Women and the Queens of Sin by ESchorcho Created on Oct 13 2017 1:44PM
Devilish Women and the Queens of Sin by Yang Xiao Long Created on Oct 12 2017 2:14PM
RE: Restarting older stories by colleem Created on Oct 8 2017 10:19PM
RE: Restarting older stories by JimmyKasche Created on Oct 7 2017 10:39PM
RE: Restarting older stories by CorruptionCentral Created on Oct 7 2017 10:21PM
RE: Restarting older stories by JimmyKasche Created on Oct 7 2017 2:15PM
RE: Restarting older stories by colleem Created on Oct 7 2017 4:07AM
    

Stories

RE: Holiday love slaves by Anzaleth Created on Aug 29 2017 11:08AM
RE: Holiday love slaves by JimmyKasche Created on Aug 24 2017 11:39PM
RE: Holiday love slaves by JimmyKasche Created on Aug 7 2017 11:07PM
RE: Holiday love slaves by The Comedian Created on Jul 29 2017 4:13AM
RE: Holiday love slaves by The Comedian Created on Jul 29 2017 3:35AM
RE: Holiday love slaves by JimmyKasche Created on Jul 28 2017 6:12PM
RE: Holiday love slaves by The Comedian Created on Jul 28 2017 1:53PM
RE: Holiday love slaves by JimmyKasche Created on Jul 27 2017 8:58PM
RE: Holiday love slaves by JimmyKasche Created on Jul 17 2017 11:44PM
RE: Holiday love slaves by JimmyKasche Created on Jul 10 2017 7:20PM
    

SuperStories Wall


JimmyKasche - 10/19/2017 12:25 PM
Candy or Bambi?
No one important - 10/19/2017 2:46 AM
Real quick, I need a bimboish name that isn't Jenni, Nikki or Mandi.
bambucea09 - 10/14/2017 9:24 AM
@redjack88 I wouldn't go with the power to give it to someone that is bullying me...this doesn't makes too much sense to me...I guess I will start a new symbiote story, this one will be different.
redjack88 - 10/14/2017 4:52 AM
@bambucea09 sorry, thought you'll start and I'll follow. Have taken a storyline. Hope I don't corrupt it. See if you're fine with it
bambucea09 - 10/13/2017 10:22 AM
@redjack88 Well I'm still looking and waiting to see something you post about the symbiote and see if is worthed to continue...
Yang Xiao Long - 10/12/2017 11:30 PM
Rebooted the story. Hope this fresh start will give you guys some ideas
Yang Xiao Long - 10/11/2017 10:07 PM
Can someone please help out with Devilish Women?
redjack88 - 10/9/2017 12:44 AM
I'm cool with that.
bambucea09 - 10/9/2017 12:08 AM
@redjack88 I might try to add something if you are going to help and post too...also no more slave stuff or male symbiote ideas...I just hate that...
redjack88 - 10/8/2017 8:59 AM
Someone please take the Use Symbiote story line forward



You must be a member to post to the wall