by Shendude - 1/2/2013 2:59 PM
So, last month I started a story, "The Fantastic Four's New Mission". My initial chapter got a five rating and was extended later that day.
About a week later, I extended the extension. This chapter got a one rating and hasn't been expanded.
I'm tyring to figure out what I did wrong. As I see it there are several possibilities:
-I briefly had an M/M scene, which may have turned some people off.
-I had Franklin getting a blowjob from Val, which probably turned some people off.
-I waited too long.
-My writing isn't very good.
-The base concept is unpopular.
Would you folks mind helping me find out A: what I did wrong, and B: how I can revive the story?
by C.King - 1/8/2013 10:58 AM
I haven't extended cause I have an unreliable muse and work ethic. So yeah...
Plus I might not have voted. Give me a minute.
by Evva - 1/13/2013 8:18 AM
Being sincere, what turned me off was 3 different elements
1) Val and Franklin doing sex. Pedophilia and sex between teens below 16 years old repel me so I stopped even to check the story. Another point on that scene, they was watching their mom being fucked.
2)The whole sequence became another useless sex moment. Like there was no reason for the sex, it was..."I am bored, let make sex" and that usually is boring as the hell. Give me a plot to follow and I will be very enthusiastic about the story.
3)The 3 way sex scene. I never would imagine Ben Grimm fucking any man ass. He is the example of malehood in several aspects and mentally during years he felt himself like a monster not worthy to be saw by anyone outside of his life as a hero.
Excluding the turning off list there are some things which made me feel there was something missing on this story. The porn world which they went really must be magical, because in a matter of days made a mother lost all the motherly feelings about her
kids. That kind of behavior broke my sense of belief at this story. I suggest you think more on the reasons for the sex and the consequences of the changes than simply jump at the sex scenes.
BTW, Val is waaay more inteligent than her father and she is fucking arrogant about her brother. How she became a fuckinbot without anything on her head?
by Shendude - 1/15/2013 11:48 AM
Thanks for responding guys. Evva, you raise some good points.
Concerning Point One, I totally understand you. It was meant to be super-taboo, reflecting how completely the FF have embraced their new sexual ideology. As I see it, a hypersexualized society would not shield children from sex. I'll grant that I have a perhaps
unhealthy fascination with the idea of a boy becoming not only sexually active but sexually dominant at an early age. And yes, there's going to be incest in this story.
Concerning Point Two, could you please elaborate?
Concerning Point Three, yes Ben fucking another man is out of character. So is Sue fucking a woman, or Doctor Doom, or any of the ten thousand other out-of-character things we have these characters do on this site on a regular basis. I'm not sure what you're
trying to say with that last clause.
It was months, actually. Long enough for intelligent people to be swayed by a sufficiently attractive belief system. It's not entirely realistic of course, but I'll point you to the whole rest of this site.
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Sailor Mercury - 3/9/2014 11:25 AM
I might have an idea for a suggestion for Uranus and Neptune. Just give some time to think of the best way to explain it.
gothamalleyviper - 3/9/2014 11:01 AM
Have a lot to do today, but am going to try and post for Catwoman 24, RubberQueen, and Black Queen
XFAN - 3/9/2014 10:44 AM
Both really, when I plotted out the idea it was originally a writing exercise to see how many ways the heroine in peril ended up a slave.
Sailor Mercury - 3/9/2014 10:28 AM
Exactly what do you mean XFAN? Do you mean as in the way they are brainwashed or how they act afterward?
colleem - 3/9/2014 4:29 AM
Hope you like the Idea why Mystique would do this :)
XFAN - 3/8/2014 9:22 PM
Got cut off. going for variety
XFAN - 3/8/2014 9:21 PM
For Scouts VS The Mad Doctor I plan to write the rest of the original five and one for Pluto. I currently have no plans for the others but will write a chapter if some has a suggestion I haven't already done. This story is not my usual thing so I'm goi
XFAN - 3/8/2014 5:27 PM
Thank you Pralat, I got the idea from your recent thread
Pralat - 3/8/2014 1:10 PM
Amazing job, XFan!
Grimmer - 3/8/2014 12:42 PM
Okay, well just let me know if you have any requests for me to write, specific women, scenarios you want to see. Because I'm in it till the end if you are.
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