by Shendude - 1/2/2013 2:59 PM
So, last month I started a story, "The Fantastic Four's New Mission". My initial chapter got a five rating and was extended later that day.
About a week later, I extended the extension. This chapter got a one rating and hasn't been expanded.
I'm tyring to figure out what I did wrong. As I see it there are several possibilities:
-I briefly had an M/M scene, which may have turned some people off.
-I had Franklin getting a blowjob from Val, which probably turned some people off.
-I waited too long.
-My writing isn't very good.
-The base concept is unpopular.
Would you folks mind helping me find out A: what I did wrong, and B: how I can revive the story?
by C.King - 1/8/2013 10:58 AM
I haven't extended cause I have an unreliable muse and work ethic. So yeah...
Plus I might not have voted. Give me a minute.
by Evva - 1/13/2013 8:18 AM
Being sincere, what turned me off was 3 different elements
1) Val and Franklin doing sex. Pedophilia and sex between teens below 16 years old repel me so I stopped even to check the story. Another point on that scene, they was watching their mom being fucked.
2)The whole sequence became another useless sex moment. Like there was no reason for the sex, it was..."I am bored, let make sex" and that usually is boring as the hell. Give me a plot to follow and I will be very enthusiastic about the story.
3)The 3 way sex scene. I never would imagine Ben Grimm fucking any man ass. He is the example of malehood in several aspects and mentally during years he felt himself like a monster not worthy to be saw by anyone outside of his life as a hero.
Excluding the turning off list there are some things which made me feel there was something missing on this story. The porn world which they went really must be magical, because in a matter of days made a mother lost all the motherly feelings about her
kids. That kind of behavior broke my sense of belief at this story. I suggest you think more on the reasons for the sex and the consequences of the changes than simply jump at the sex scenes.
BTW, Val is waaay more inteligent than her father and she is fucking arrogant about her brother. How she became a fuckinbot without anything on her head?
by Shendude - 1/15/2013 11:48 AM
Thanks for responding guys. Evva, you raise some good points.
Concerning Point One, I totally understand you. It was meant to be super-taboo, reflecting how completely the FF have embraced their new sexual ideology. As I see it, a hypersexualized society would not shield children from sex. I'll grant that I have a perhaps
unhealthy fascination with the idea of a boy becoming not only sexually active but sexually dominant at an early age. And yes, there's going to be incest in this story.
Concerning Point Two, could you please elaborate?
Concerning Point Three, yes Ben fucking another man is out of character. So is Sue fucking a woman, or Doctor Doom, or any of the ten thousand other out-of-character things we have these characters do on this site on a regular basis. I'm not sure what you're
trying to say with that last clause.
It was months, actually. Long enough for intelligent people to be swayed by a sufficiently attractive belief system. It's not entirely realistic of course, but I'll point you to the whole rest of this site.
X-Hot-Ic by Gorel Created on Feb 27 2015 10:33PM
RE: Sue Storm's Secret Life: Hail Hydra !!! by colleem Created on Jan 15 2015 12:27AM
RE: Sue Storm's Secret Life: Hail Hydra !!! by chinky_natasha Created on Jan 14 2015 4:14PM
RE: Sue Storm's Secret Life: Hail Hydra !!! by colleem Created on Jan 14 2015 3:31AM
RE: Sue Storm's Secret Life: Hail Hydra !!! by chinky_natasha Created on Jan 14 2015 2:51AM
RE: Sue Storm's Secret Life: Hail Hydra !!! by colleem Created on Jan 13 2015 11:03PM
Sue Storm's Secret Life: Hail Hydra !!! by chinky_natasha Created on Jan 13 2015 5:58PM
RE: Exidor - SSSL: Drugged Whore by colleem Created on Jan 13 2015 3:25PM
Added a bunch to Medieval Madness by izenrann Created on Jan 12 2015 10:46PM
RE: Exidor - SSSL: Drugged Whore by exidor455 Created on Jan 11 2015 3:52AM
RE: golden maiden by mattvo25 Created on Feb 24 2015 10:44PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by gothamalleyviper Created on Jan 4 2015 9:13PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by gothamalleyviper Created on Jan 2 2015 10:00PM
RE: Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by ESchorcho Created on Jan 2 2015 4:57PM
Rubber Queen or is there a Doctor in the Fish? by gothamalleyviper Created on Dec 18 2014 10:04PM
RE: Rule 63ed Joker by gothamalleyviper Created on Dec 14 2014 4:06PM
golden maiden by gethewil Created on Dec 4 2014 7:51AM
RE: Rule 63ed Joker by gothamalleyviper Created on Dec 2 2014 5:21PM
RE: Rule 63ed Joker by C.King Created on Dec 2 2014 4:51PM
RE: Rule 63ed Joker by gothamalleyviper Created on Dec 2 2014 4:07PM
CorruptionCentral - 3/2/2015 6:22 PM
Exidor: Yup, I've done it too. BTW, very enjoyable chapter
ESchorcho - 3/2/2015 8:23 AM
I've made that same mistake, exidor. You're not alone.
exidor455 - 3/2/2015 7:29 AM
Posted a new Mephisto chapter of SSSL, then realised I followed up the wrong chapter! Oh well, I don't suppose it matters. :)
gothamalleyviper - 2/27/2015 6:45 AM
Random Idea: Lesbian Perfume. Center female character gets dunked and then while she stays straight every woman in close proximity has an instant need to have lesbian sex with her.
misbegotten2 - 2/24/2015 2:37 PM
Eschorcho, it's cool, I'll probably have a new chapter up tomorrow or Thursday.
ESchorcho - 2/24/2015 9:29 AM
misbegotten2, I don't know how much time I will have to write for the Fuckdoll Finishing School so if you want to take the next chapter please do. That goes for anyone else as well.
misbegotten2 - 2/19/2015 10:29 AM
Eschorcho, that was a great addition. Give me a few days and I'll have something up.
ESchorcho - 2/16/2015 6:13 PM
misbegotten2, I'm working on a new chapter and should be able to post tomorrow.
misbegotten2 - 2/15/2015 2:50 PM
ESchoro-thank you for the compliment. I'll have a new chapter later tonight.
ESchorcho - 2/15/2015 8:08 AM
misbegotten2, that was one genius chapter in The Fuckdoll Finishing School. Please keep posting!
You must be a member to post to the wall