So, what is wrong with this story?

by Shendude - 1/2/2013 2:59 PM

So, last month I started a story, "The Fantastic Four's New Mission". My initial chapter got a five rating and was extended later that day.

About a week later, I extended the extension. This chapter got a one rating and hasn't been expanded.

I'm tyring to figure out what I did wrong. As I see it there are several possibilities:

-I briefly had an M/M scene, which may have turned some people off.

-I had Franklin getting a blowjob from Val, which probably turned some people off.

-I waited too long.

-My writing isn't very good.

-The base concept is unpopular.

Would you folks mind helping me find out A: what I did wrong, and B: how I can revive the story?


RE: So, what is wrong with this story?

by C.King - 1/8/2013 10:58 AM

 I haven't extended cause I have an unreliable muse and work ethic. So yeah...

 Plus I might not have voted. Give me a minute.


RE: So, what is wrong with this story?

by Evva - 1/13/2013 8:18 AM

Being sincere, what turned me off was 3 different elements


1) Val and Franklin doing sex. Pedophilia and sex between teens below 16 years old repel me so I stopped even to check the story. Another point on that scene, they was watching their mom being fucked. 

2)The whole sequence became another useless sex moment. Like there was no reason for the sex, it was..."I am bored, let make sex" and that usually is boring as the hell. Give me a plot to follow and I will be very enthusiastic about the story. 

3)The 3 way sex scene. I never would imagine Ben Grimm fucking any man ass. He is the example of malehood in several aspects and mentally during years he felt himself like a monster not worthy to be saw by anyone outside of his life as a hero. 

Excluding the turning off list there are some things which made me feel there was something missing on this story. The porn world which they went really must be magical, because in a matter of days made a mother lost all the motherly feelings about her kids. That kind of behavior broke my sense of belief at this story. I suggest you think more on the reasons for the sex and the consequences of the changes than simply jump at the sex scenes. 

BTW, Val is waaay more inteligent than her father and she is fucking arrogant about her brother. How she became a fuckinbot without anything on her head?

-RE: So, what is wrong with this story? by Shendude - 1/15/2013 11:48 AM

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SuperStories Wall


JimmyKasche - 6/23/2017 10:05 PM
You're reminder post was about to slip off the side bar Master_Kind so I figured that I would put a reminder her for you to update Hard reboot.
Meddler - 6/23/2017 9:59 PM
You've always got an energy and passion for this stuff, OmegaJay. I respect that.
OmegaJay - 6/23/2017 10:54 AM
Hope you people like my new story
redjack88 - 6/23/2017 5:38 AM
Can someone please take the Use Symbiote story forward.
Fanfic Fetishist - 6/21/2017 10:27 PM
Dank. Whatcha need?
Danknoodle420 - 6/21/2017 10:21 AM
I plan on continuing writing, but I was finding myself in a bit of a sticky situation... I need help describing the settings and such. I have been sticking to what I can do for a long time and I really wanted to try something new. By the way thanks Cal
Cal512 - 6/20/2017 11:44 AM
Darknoodle, there is that Ann Weying fanfic on DA and fanfiction.net Granted it's not very long atm.
ESchorcho - 6/20/2017 9:57 AM
Danknoodle420, it's an erotic fanfic-themed addventure.
Danknoodle420 - 6/20/2017 1:58 AM
I literally spent hours searching for a Symbiote fanfic that isn't just based COMPLETELY on sexual activities. But I had came to a conclusion that it's impossible. Feel free to message me if you found a really good one or made one yourself. I'd love to
Master_Kind - 6/20/2017 1:25 AM
Apologies for the long delay in posting. Life's been a bit crazy lately. Jimmy, remind me to update Hard Reboot on the wall if I don't get to it soon.



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