by LesLes - 12/7/2013 4:47 PM
Well, you had me at star-crossed lesbian lovers destined to meet again (but unfortunately I haven't seen Mannequin 2). That said it's not entirely clear to me what you're asking. If you're planning on writing this as a first chapter for Addventure then I'd
suggest the first thing to do is write it as a story instead of a summary. Sorry, I know that's probably obvious!
So, something like...
Princess Justina carefully broke the red wax seal on the parchment. Her father was away and so the duty of running his affairs and receiving his orders, such as these, fell upon her pale feminine shoulders. It would be rather easier to concentrate on such
matters if her handmaiden Gessica was not decorating those same shoulders with soft slow kisses.
Night had fallen and the princess's elegant bedroom was illuminated by soft lantern light and the flickering brighter light of the candles upon her richly laquered desk. It was not unusual or strange in Venice that a handmaiden should undo the silken ribbons
of her mistress's corset to let her breathe more easily and prepare her for her nightclothes. Behind these doors, at this hour, it was no longer unusual for the unclothed and unashamed handmaiden to lovingly carress the smooth skin each untied corset ribbon
Gessica pulled the stiff corset away and shivered with anticipation. What she was about to do was forbidden by words of clergy and law and yet it made her heart sore with pleasure and love, as she knew it did the Lady Justina. Her arms slipped forward to
envelope her lady in an unchaste embrace, her mouth nuzzling at aristocratic earlobes and her hands settling upon perfect breasts.
Princess Justina gasped in familiar pleasure and leaned her weight back against her beloved servant. But then Gessica felt her lady stiffen and there came a second gasp, not of pleasure but of surprise and fear.
It was spoken like the judge issues sentence, like the word 'condemned'. The parchment carrying the heavy sentence slipped from the Lady Justina's suddenly clumsy fingers.
Secondly you need to write for your audience. This is superstories and there is a presumption that your story will involve familiar superheroes. You're more likely to get a response if you can blend them in. I believe a magical necklace is involved?
Perhaps Catwoman or Black Cat attempt to steal it. Perhaps Dr Strange or Zatanna investigate it or sense when the curse is broken.
If you're willing to change your story more then perhaps the Venetian lovers have themselves been reincarnated as superheroines. Perhaps the department store is a front for the Hellfire Club and the owner is Emma Frost or Selene. Being the White
and Black Queen's respectively that gives you a little monarchy and some titles to play around with!
Romance isn't dead, but round here you might want to think about how your story can make it easy to fit in lots of superheroine sex! Maybe it's a property of the necklace, maybe it's the way of permanently ending the curse.
Next it's worth thinking about how your chapter ends. It needs to have three or four options that are all different and valid ways for the story to go.
Just some quickly dashed off thoughts. Is any of that helpful?
(An unnecessarily pedantic historical note: Venice never had princesses, in the Renaissance it was ruled by a Doge who was elected by the city's aristocracy - who were also the city-state's powerful merchants - from within the aristocracy and who
served for life. His sons didn't inherit the title unless one was elected to it.)