Queen Angela watched the collected group of heroes stood
about in clothes suited to exercise in their culture. The one called Tony Stark was trying to get
them to all focus on him and not descend into pointless chatter or
bickering. Angela sighed.
“Ok,” Tony said, “We have to find the links if we want to
get our people back and get the Queen to her destination. Because of that we will try to open limited portals
to allow inspection of the alternate world.”
“Question?” a man with dark skin spoke up, “How are we
going to go to these alternate dimension?”
“We won’t,” Tony said, “These will. My Timmy units and a Lassie relay
beacon. They will go across the ‘Stargate’
fields I have set up.”
The one called Clint broke out laughing.
“Timmy? Lassie?”
Clint started making barking noises, “What’s that Lassie? Timmy fell into a radioactive mine? Timmy is being torn apart by an alien goat? I like your sense of humor Tony.”
“I don’t get it?” The once called Steve spoke up.
“Timmy, the little boy who goes playing and falls down a
well, gets attacked by a bear, gets bitten by a snake, and Lassie the loyal dog
that runs home and warns Timmy’s parents,” Clint asked.
“He is right,” Tony admitted sheepishly, “I did name the
systems on the old TV show.”
“Ok,” the woman named Natasha spoke up, “So can we get a relevant
explanation of your bad idea?”
“The Timmy units are remote control versions of my
Hostile Environment scouting armor. They
are controlled via Waldo Puppetry,” Tony said.
“Waldo?” another woman, the blonde, asked.
“Yes Carol,” Tony said, “You see those exoskeleton suits
over there? Each limb brace records and
transmits the movement of your arms and legs to the armor units. The helmets have VR goggles that relay what
the suit sees from the optical sensors for the user.”
“So the bungie keeps us suspended in place while our
motions move the bots around?” Natasha asked for clarification.
“Yes,” Tony said, “There are nine of them, I can out
three per lassie and one Lassie across each gateway.”
“Why are you calling them Stargates?” the black man
asked.
“Like the movie, the portal is one way,” Tony said, “For
now. I can get signals back, but nothing
can come back across for now.”
“So these are disposable?” another asked.
“Yes,” Tony said, “Banner and I will monitor the signals
and try to work out how to set up two way travel should we find the right
trans-dimensional shortcut, but the suits are disposable. I can’t begin to warn you about what sort of
horrors you might see on the other side.”
“Tony, are you implying that we might end up in the home
of the inspirations for Lovercrafts monsters?” Steve asked.
“Maybe.”
That admission caused all of the assembled group to sober
up.
“Steve, you Natasha and Clint will be one team. Carol, you will have Sam and Wanda. T’challa will have Hank and Janet. Thor,” Tony turned to the Asgardian man, “I
am going to need all the power you can bring down.”
*
None of them had “Suited up” as they went about getting
into the strange “Waldo Suits.”
“Is there anything I should be doing?” Angella asked.
“No,” Tony said, “If anything stay in the background in
case we need you to relay information.”
“Friend Tony,” the Asgardian called over the intercom, “Are
thou ready?”
“Hang on Point Break,” Tony said, “How are your boards
looking Banner?”
“The pods are ready to go,” the voice came back over the
intercom.
“You folks ready to go?” Tony asked.
“Yeah,” was the collective agreement.
“Ok, everyone we are going forward on three, two, one,
Thor!” Tony called, “Now Bruce! Hang on
folks you should be going live any second now…”
*
T’challa jumped forward and flubbed the landing. Not operating a normal body but rather
remotely operating the one-meter-tall Iron Man suit, T’challa’s cat like
reflexes failed the robot.
“Nice work kitty cat,” Hank’s voice carried the smirk
that the robot’s face didn’t.
“Pym!” T’challa growled.
“Boys, calm down,” Janet’s voice was even more out of
place coming from the robot.
“Janet, try getting up to the roof tops and take a look
around, Pym stay on the ground level, I will take a look around these alley
ways for clues,” T’challa ordered.
Janet’s little suite engaged the rockets and the miniature
robot rose to the roof tops. T’Challa
went back. Hank piloted his suit out on
to the sidewalk. He was glad his unit
didn’t have any sort of smell sensor as he almost ran into the bags of rotting
trash.
“Son of a…” Hank blurted.
“Ahem,” A voice called from behind the bot.
Hank turned his bot around and looked at the police
officer looking down at him.
“What the hell are you?” the cop asked.
“Ah, a Timmy?” Hank said.
“Ok, Timmy is it?” the Cop crossed his arm.
“No, I am Hank.”
“You just said you are Timmy,” the Cop arched an eye
brow.
“No, you asked what this thing is,” Hank used the machine
to point at the bots chest, “My name is Hank, I am the pilot.”
“Ok,” The cop pinched the bridge of his nose, “Hank is
it? You are the one piloting this Timmy as you call it?”
“Yes,” Hank retorted.
“What are you doing?” the officer asked.
“Would you believe I am operating a interdimensional
probe trying to find other interdimensional aliens?” Hank said.
The officer reached over and grabbed his radio.
“Control this is Foot Patrol Seven-Eight, come in,” the
Officer said, “Yeah, I got another case of Freaky Stuff happening. Not sure, let me check. If I bring you to the police station are you
going blow the place up?”
“Not really,” Hank said, “I don’t intend on planning doing
anything to hurt people if I don’t have to.”
“No real threat,” the cop said, “Ok, I will bring him to
the station. Ok, Hank lets go for a
ride.”
The cop lead him down to a waiting police cruiser. Hank noted that the side of the cruiser was
marked “Gotham City Police Department.”
*
Carol looked around via the VR googles linked to the miniature
bot’s optical sensors, but she wasn’t sure that she wasn’t high as a kite.
“Fucking trippy!” Sam said.
“Keep together,” Carol said.
Around them the whole planet was in mayhem. No stars were visible and the clouds and sky
were a purple haze. Around them, the
trees and mountains to their south seemed to be eroded in a bizarre and freaky
way.
“Does anyone have an idea what is going on here?” Carol
asked.
“Ah, the mountains are being eaten by nanotech?” Sam
spouted.
“Sci-fi much?” Carol asked.
“Says the woman augmented with the alien DNA to get
superpowers,” Sam snapped.
“Point for Sam,” Wanda snickered.
*
Roboto was perched on a work bench in Man-At-Arm’s
lab. He was only partly repaired and
still mostly disassembled to access and fix what was broken. Limbless he simply ran computer game
simulations to pass his time. The game
of Chess as the queen called it was a good one to run. Roboto was linked to the terminal that had
been Prince Adam’s recreational computer when he was younger and was playing an
endless tournament against it for the time being.
A strange blue white sparking of light opened up about a
hand below the ceiling. And a metallic pod
consisting of elongated Octagons fell throw the circle and landed on top of a
bench with a thud. The sides along the
long axis opened and three small robotic lifeforms exited. Roboto focused his sensors on the three units
and started an analysis.
*
“Sergeant Bullock, here is Hank,” the officer said
leading the meter-tall robot in, “This is Sergeant Bullock, he will try to
clear things up for you.”
“Mind stepping into my office?” the rather rotund man
asked, “You want anything to eat? Maybe
some double A batteries?”
“Tripple As,” Hank returned the sarcasm, “I have to watch
my figure.”
“Was that a joke?” Bullock asked.
“Yes, your office?”
“This way.”
*
“This animal looks as if it has been eaten alive,” Wanda noted
looking at the dead bird.
“Flesh eating bacteria eaten alive. You can see it started here behind the
shoulder blades,” Same said.
“Didn’t the queen say her world was attacked by nanites?”
Carol asked.
“Yeah.
*
Roboto went over his systems.
Activate Armor re-inforcement… system failure. System removed.
Activate Weapon arm… system failure. Power relays
destroyed.
Activate Missile launchers… System failure, system
removed.
Activate communications relay… System failure, system
destroyed.
Activate wireless computer relay… System failure, system
destroyed.
Activate communications speaker… System on line.
*
Natasha and Clint were going over the work room. Steve was
keeping an eye on the door. They had
turned off the speakers on their Timmy units to keep the noise down and were
talking amongst themselves back at the VR control stations.
“This place is all sorts of made science,” Clint said, “Hay
Tony are you watching the feeds?”
“Yes Clint,” Tony’s voice came from a distance, “Record
everything. Seems the natives developed
computer technologies in a convergent manor.
None of these are like any of the systems we use on Earth. Hold up.
Go back over that.”
Clint turned the head of his unit back and looked at the
system.
“Ah, is it me or is that the controls out of an old space
shuttle?” Clint asked.
“Looks like it, right down to the Boeing data plate,”
Tony said.
“INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!” a metallic
computer voice shouted from the Timmy side of the relays.
*
“So, tell me, why is an overgrown Lego figure looking for
alien life on an alien world?” Bullock asked.
“It’s weird,” Hank admitted, “Look have any alien castles
just sort of landed on your planet recently?”
“Yeah, Wayne Tower.” Bullock leaned back in the chair
next to the vending machine.
Turns out the Sergeant’s office was the snack room, and
from the belly Hank expected he was the number one customer here.
“What about Wayne Tower?” Hank asked.
“The Superheroes were off saving the planet and a local villain
felt neglected,” Bullock said, “He broke in and threated to blow up the
corporate headquarters building and then, poof.
The tower was gone and it was replaced by a freaking castle out of a fantasy
cartoon.”
“Hold on a second please,” Hank held up the robots hand, “QUEEN
ANGELLA GET OVER HERE! TONY IS THERE
ANYWAY TO PUT THE AUDIO ON A SPEAKER?
WHAT ABOUT HAVING HER LISTEN IN ON HEADPHONES? WHAT? I THINK THEY HAVE SOME OF ANGELLA’S PEOPLE!”
“Do you have to shout?” Bullock asked.
“Sorry, the guy who is managing the system is across the
room,” Hank stopped screaming, “WHERE IS SHE? Oh, sorry your majesty. Could repeat what you just said Sergeant
Bullock?”
“Ah…”
“The head of the ones that ended up in my world is now listening
in. We are trying to get them all
reunited.”
“OK,” Bullock said, “The corporate headquarters building
in town was taken over by a nut job and right before he was going to blow it up
it vanished and a castle took its place.
Looked like something from a fantasy cartoon. Build on jagged spires coming out of the
ground.”
“Does Queen Castaspella mean anything to you?” Hank
asked.
“Yeah, she is staying up at… well she is under protection
after some people thought they could get money if they kidnaped her,” Bullock
censored himself.
“Is that it?” Hank asked.
“Well the city center of another town disappeared and got
replaced by a forrest full of freaks. A
couple of babes too, but mostly freaks,” Bullock said.
“What?” Hank asked, “Ok, Whispering Woods? Anything?”
“I think that is the name of the place,” Bullocks said, “Hay
if I shoot this robot, is a flying dog going to come to it’s rescue?”
“Lassie?” Hank said, “No, that is the relay beacon that
is allowing me to talk to you, I see you watched the same show as Tony did.”
“I use to watch reruns of Lassie on Public access
channel,” Bullock noted.
*
Tony watched Steve, Natasha and Clint scrambling
around. He was trying desperately to suppress
his urge to buckle over with laughter. The
Super Soldier, Master Spy and deadly archer were fumbling around like the three
stooges in the miniature armor. If not
for the gravity of the castle guards trying to destroy them, it would have been
hysterical. Clint’s unit stuck it’s head
into a closet and spotted a guard plowing a woman in a green dress from behind
and took note of the panties on the floor.
“I see London, I see France…” Clint said.
“And you are about to get blown away,” Natasha shouted, “Move
it!”
“See if you can get a shot of the woman’s face,” Tony
shouted.
“What?” Steve shouted back, “Right now?”
“Something about those panties is just too familiar,”
Tony said.
“Seriously?” Clint shouted.
“Yes!” Tony said.
“We good?” Clint asked as he looked up at the woman and
then down at the panties.
“Yeah, run for your life Wee-man,” Tony snapped.