“Mr. Stark, I appreciate how much you trust me,” Happy
shouted, “But I don’t feel comfortable doing this.”
“It’s critical we test the armor before going into
action,” Tony called back, “Besides it isn’t like I haven’t run into this
situation before so I need to know my armor will hold up.
“I really have to insist that I am not comfortable doing
this Mr. Stark,” Happy shouted again.
“Stop stalling and shoot me already!”
“Is any part of this even legal?” Happy asked.
“We are recording it so everyone will know it was my bad
idea!” Tony called, “Just shoot me!”
“Fine,” Happy went back to the controls, “Freak one in a
million incident and now because Tony wants to use a new Under Water suit… Hay
Pepper what did you do? Oh did you know
Tony build a giant fake whale dick loaded it with whale spunk? Yeah he had me shoot him with it in the lab
today.”
Happy pressed the fire control and the mess was launched
across the room splattering the Iron Man.
Smoke started coming off a knee joint.
“Oh, that’s not supposed to do that…” Tony said, “I think
I might have a leak…”
Happy put up his hands and ran out of the room. As he went to leave the entrance room to the
lab he almost ran into Pepper Potts.
“Happy have you seen Tony,” Pepper asked.
Rather than say anything, Happy reached over and grabbed
a rubber cover all, some boots and heavy rubber gloves. He handed them to Pepper and pointed behind
him.
“What?” Pepper asked.
But Happy put his hands back up and left. Pepper got dressed in the protective gear and
then went into the lab. She was not surprised
to see the Iron Man hanging over a tank, the machine aimed at him and the
condition of the armor made her concerned.
“Tony what is this supposed to be?” Pepper asked not even
wanting to touch anything.
“Don’t you remember the Moby Dick Protocol memo Natasha
had way too much fun writing?” Tony asked.
Pepper put a rubber gloved hand to her forehead.
“Tony, you mean to tell me,” she hissed, “That you built
all of this because of a chance of you pissing off the Atlantians again and in
the slim sliver of chance that they would retaliate by having a whale do a
money shot on you AGAIN?”
“Yeah,” Tony said, “And the knee is leaking. Can I get some help?”
“You know what?” Pepper stopped herself from yelling, “I
have a call with Hasbro, I think it be best if this area of the lab is too ‘Top
Secret’ to be made into a play set! Ok?”
Pepper stormed off.
“Ah… A little help here?”
*
Kara watched her double float into the room. Her idea of “Pajamas” was a pair of thick
wool socks, rubber cycling shorts and a sweat shirt. Kara could feel her double’s eyes on her judging
her choice of a pajamas; the brand name pajama bottoms and top.
“Oh, your first latex dress,” Karen chuckled, “I remember
that.”
“Karen…” Kara asked, “Are you… Do you…”
“What?” Karen asked, “I have Alpha seven. If you were like me, then you are about to go
from being mostly Alpha six to seven over the next few years yourself. You have already been paying attention to
Lois’ ass haven’t you?”
“What?” Kara blanched.
“When did you have to flee?” Karen asked, “Before you
would have been sixteen right?”
“Yeah,” Kara said.
“So you got the kiddy version of the Arn and the Glisse
right?” Karen smiled, “But you never looked into the archives too see what you
missed in the advanced sex education classes.”
“Yeah,” Kara admitted it, “Sex ed in human high school is
awkward enough.”
“So you just assumed that because Kal is an Alpha two and
you are an Alpha five you didn’t need to question the human text books?” Karen
sat on the bed next to Kara, “You probably haven’t realized that Mom was
naturally an Alpha eight and took medication have you?”
“Alphas?” Kara asked.
“The Chemical and hormonal balances in our hearts,” Karen
said, “One is an asexual guy, two is a straight guy, three is a bisexual man,
four is a gay as they say on earth. Five
is an asexual lady, six is straight, seven is bi and eight is a dyke.”
“Hay!” Kara said.
“What? You remember Aunt Ja,” Karen said, “Can you name a
single time she hung out with mom when dad was around?”
“No, she would come over when dad was on trips and they
would go together on missions when Dad stayed home with me…”
“Yeah, according to the archives, the Eight’s second
marriages were normal,” Karen said, “They just have to take their green pills
to make sure they can breed in their first marriage.”
“Wait,” Kara said, “Mom’s vitamin pill?”
“Is that what she called it?” Karen laughed, “I don’t remember
but when I found it in the archive… It all made sense. One a day, and she couldn’t keep hands off
dad when I was out of the room for five minutes, after two days without it, and
seeing dad naked would make her vomit.”
“I think I am going to vomit thinking about that,” Kara
said.
“Hay, if you want I could wipe up some of the purple
pills and we can go straight dyke,” Karen joked, “Maybe that babe at the shoe
store will want you to lez her out.”
*
The Mutant called Logan knew most of the important
players and also remembered their smells.
Logan was in New York City to meet with a lawyer about claims being made
that the Xavier School for the Gifted was Bioweapons research center in the
Daily Bugle. He had given his deposition
and was on his way to find lunch and then take a train out of the city when he
smelled a familiar face.
“Where is he?” Logan said, “Show yourself Barton.”
Logan spotted the clown.
6 foot plus, around two-hundred and thirty, red wig, bright green and
blue clown jump suit. He went around the
corner holding a bunch of balloons.
Arching an eyebrow, Logan followed him from a distance.
*
Barbara was pacing.
She was clearly in a state of shock and high anxiety. She looked at the latex outfit and wanted to
tear it apart… but knew that she couldn’t because Tim and Bruce needed to check
it to see if there was extra in it. And
yet a part of her was enthralled by the look smell of the latex. Did she secretly have a latex fetish?
Barbara went to her computer and did some searches. Yes she always like wearing tight fitting
clothes, she could be called and exhibitionist, the smell was turning her on…
“… as latex fetishists, these are all common traits. Many of use found lycra, spandex, and other
tight fitting material stimulating before we discovered latex… Shit. I just
might be a pervert,” Barbara said to herself.
She looked at the image of a man in a rubber sleeping bag
with a black dick sticking out…
“I would like to see Dick wearing that…”
Barbara started looking at various rubber fetish profiles
and personal pictures…
*
Stephanie sat across the work bench from her sometimes
boyfriend and caped stud muffin Tim Drake aka Red Robin.
“So?” Steph asked.
“So what?” Tim responded.
“You are a technical whiz,” Steph reached across the
bench to grab Tim’s free hand, “Instead of taking a nap so we would be fresh
for patrol, you have been prodding this.
Normally that means you have it cracked and decoded by now.”
“Steph,” Tim put down his electronic probe and rubbed his
face, “Steph, unfortunately the only one who fully understands this, the
hardware, the firmware, the software, how it works, how it translates to bioelectric
neural impulses, is in the infirmary of Arkham with broken ribs.”
“Ok,” Steph said, “So what can you see about the upgrade?”
Tim looked Steph in the eyes, she was right.
“Normally when someone gets hatted the lights go out,”
Steph snapped her fingers for effect, “And its cartoon ‘you command I obey,’
zombie. That was Barbara out there today…
Psychotic, deranged, kickboxing, fetish porn Barbara, but it was still her.”
“Yeah, in the past his cards were basically relays,” Tim
agreed, “I am about half way into the kernel.”
“So you are up to fighting a captain?” Steph asked.
“The Kernel is the program for the board that lets the system
run,” Tim said, “With it I can start to take apart the code for various
functions.”
“Tim,” Steph asked, “Could you make your own version of
this?”
“Not at this rate,” Tim sighed, “Why?”
“I was thinking,” Steph said, “Maybe a few changes, ok a
lot of changes and we could use this to adjust some attitudes around here. Namely have ‘I am the Blood Son’ calling us
Master Tim and Mistress Steph? Maybe
versions for a long weekend playing sexy games?”
Tim just looked at Steph.
“Yeah I know Bruce would break more than our ribs,” Steph
said, “But we all need to think of some way to calm down the demon before he
goes full Hannibal Lector on us.”
*
The NYPD Sergeant looked at his partner as they drove
down street. This was their first day
together, he had been given the new guy’s file three days ago by the new guys
training sergeant.
“So I saw in your file you were in the Army,” the
sergeant asked the new guy.
“Yeah,” the rookie said, “Five years as a cop in the
army.”
“I saw you had an enhanced background check,” the
Sergeant noted, “Can you talk about that?”
“Oh yeah, I was the security for the Special Forces
Shuttle Door Gunners…” the Rookie broke out laughing, “Sorry. No, I got that because when we deployed I
split my time between being the CG’s body guards and babysitting the Division
Intel people. They needed to know I was
trust worthy before I could be let in their… That alley up ahead. The Blonde and the John.”
“I see it,” The sergeant said, “Hold on.”
The Sergeant parked the cruiser and the pair got out and
followed the pair into the alley. Both
were kissing and the John hand his hand down the back of her skirt.
“All Right!” the sergeant barked, “Hands up, you back
against the wall. Alright Officer, Check
them for weapons.”
The new guy appreciated that the Sergeant hadn’t called
him a “New Guy” or “Rookie” in front of the suspects. The John was unarmed, he did hand the wallet
over to the sergeant. The Blonde didn’t
take much to search her. Plucking the
connecting string of her pink rubber bra top like a bass was enough to dislodge
anything and same for the oversized pink rubber belt that was masquerading as a
skirt. That left the purse. He opened it and blanched.
“Sergeant,” he called, “Call in the FBI NOW!”
The sergeant was about to say something when the new guy
held the purse so the Sergeant’s body camera could see what was in the
purse. A portable hard drive with “US
GOVERNMENT PROPERTY” and “TOP SECRET” labels on it. The sergeant looked in the wallet at the ID.
“Well Mister John Storm,” The sergeant said, “Looks like
you and your date aren’t going anywhere until some questions get answered.”