“Ah the classic image of an alien leaping out and latching onto your face,” the Rubber Queen chuckled, “The alien movies, the Thing, the Head Crabs from those video games… Yeah no.”
“If the alien didn’t attack you, then what happened?” Lois asked her latex clad hostess.
“It did what so many infants do when they sense they might be in danger,” The Rubber Queen shrugged, “It played dead. Which is probably the best thing it could have done.”
“How so?” Lois was intrigued.
The idea of a Starro type alien laying dead in someone’s apartment didn’t seem all that good for the alien.
The Rubber Queen reached into a drawer in her desk and pulled out a clear plastic jar filled with a pink goo. The Queen opened it, knocked the jar over and pulled out some of the goo.“This is liquid latex Mrs Lane-Kent,” the Rubber Queen pronounced flatly, “Ordinary commercial liquid latex. The kind for sale in sex shops for people who want to pain their bodies in it. I know because we carry this in our sex shops.”
“OK,” Lois said thinking about the notes the belfree in Gotham had sent her, “Your fetish supply companies are out selling every other competitor out there.”
“Now Mrs. Lane-Kent,” The Rubber Queen just smiled and continued, “If this was in your bed room on your vanity what would you do?”
“Clean it up?” Lois shrugged, “Maybe try to use it so it doesn’t get wasted… I hear that stuff can get expensive.”
“Yes,” The Rubber Queen agreed, “That is what I did, I got a brush and applied what I could to my chest and belly… Oh don’t look at me like that, I AM the RUBBER QUEEN, Biggest latex fetish pervert in the world! Anyways, I applied what I could to my chest and belly, then called the apartment superintendent and my insurance company then went to bed for some ‘relaxation’ with a toy before going to sleep. Man did I rock that alien’s world!”
Two and Two clicked in Lois’ head and she eyed the liquid latex glob on the desk nervously.
“Oh relax it is perfectly normal rubber,” The Rubber Queen put the pink material back in its’ jar before continuing, “So as I slept, the alien introduced itself to my sleeping mind. It began to ask me questions about my world and what state it is in. It asked me to explain my fetish, and revealed that in its natural state a Klyntar looks and feels like a big glob of liquid latex. But that Klyntar are actually an advanced alien species that while it is parasitic in nature it is a symbiotic parasite that links to its host. Some of the Klyntar told stories about them being an ancient alien diplomatic tool used to link representatives of different alien species together so the galaxy could talk to one another…”
“Wait,” Lois interrupted her host, “Are you saying that thing was just a smart alien translator?”
“No Mrs. Lane-Kent,” the Rubber Queen scowled, “They were so much more than that, if that had been their original purpose… well the Klyntar were released and given their own homeworld.”
Lois still looked confused.
“Like you said the Klyntar were smart, beyond smart they were self-aware sentient beings capable of independent thoughts feelings and desires. They were no longer bio-ware, they were beings. So they were given their own homeworld,” The Rubber Queen pronounced, “But the dream of uniting the galaxy remained in their collective memories and dreams. Some tried to unite their galaxy by enslaving it, others by reaching out… All of their experiences had been absorbed by the little princess and now she started asking me about my world, about the humans here and how we behaved. She wanted to know more about my fetishes. We talked about latex fetishism, femdom, bisexuality, bondage fetish and so much more…”
Lois noted that the Rubber Queen was masterbating herself with one hand while giving this talk.
“Yeah, well in the morning I was woken by my super knocking on my door announcing he was coming in,” The Rubber Queen stopped fingering her crotch under her catsuit, “I rushed to cover myself so he wouldn’t see the latex body paint… Only there wasn’t any on me, I was buck naked. And I realized I was late for work. I debated calling in sick and going to the hospital, but I couldn’t.”
“Why go to the hospital?” Lois asked.
“I thought the dreams were so weird that I must have been exposed to some of Gotham’s various mind fuck fogs. The rogues unleash a cloud about every other week. So I got ready and went to work at the dinner. I tried to forget about the dreams and focus on work. Imagine my surprise when I found Jervis Tetch, Edward Nigma, Johnathan Crane and Felix Foust sitting down in my booth. I remember that I wondered what they were planning and what they had been doing… At some point I started to know what they were thinking, a though echoed in my mind and then one would speak it or think better than saying it allowed. I kept wondering about what else they knew, how their gimmicks worked and so on… And I was rewarded with the information I wanted. God such information… Turns out Nigma has close to a billion dollars in legitimate investments. He has been quietly investing the winnings off a hundred-dollar lottery ticket for years. I didn’t understand it, but I learned from each of them all of them. It wasn’t just them, the table of dominatrix, the lawyer having lunch with the stock broker… Over the next few weeks I learned from all of them all day and each night I talked with my other half while I dreamed. At first we could only talk while I was asleep, but after about a week, we started talking while I was awake. Not aloud mind you, but like I was thinking to myself.”
“But if the alien rubber had vanished…” Lois asked.
“It hadn’t it became my skin,” The Rubber Queen said, “I learned how to get it to appear as my skin, how to unleash tendrils to get information from others. Now for the five million dollar question, ‘why hasn’t Bruce and the rest of the bats broken down my skylights?’ Oh don’t look at me like that Mrs. Superman.”
“Who told you?” Lois asked.
“Maybe you did, maybe Bruce, maybe one of the other Gotham costumes…” The Rubber Queen shrugged in a mellowdramatic fashion, “I am not going to say, but I have a few friends in the Justice League already, some of them might even be aware of their service to me… He he. Oh, seriously, the reason the Bats are watching me and not kicking in my ceiling every other day is because everything I do is on the up and up. I used a bank loan to start and after a day of quick trades on the penny market I had enough to pay off the loan three times over and was ready to start my fetish shop and from there my fortunes grew.”
“And all of it was above the board,” Lois didn’t believe her.
“Some of my moves were a little underhanded at times, but they were all legal,” The Rubber Queen smiled, “The only things I ‘stole’ were information, and most of it could be put bought in libraries and colleges.”
“And the Brainwashed levels of loyalty?” Lois asked.
“I had been studing motivational psychology before,” The Rubber Queen pointed to a framed certificate from Gotham Community College, “But needless to say Crane, Nigma, Quinn, The Bat, and the rest provided practical insight on a level never imagined.”
Lois kept staring at her.
“You can try to paint me as Jim Jones in a catsuit,” The Rubber Queen smirked, “But all of my staff are paid, pay taxes, have retirements in investment firms outside of my reach, have health care coverage, and paid vacation days.”
“I was thinking more Branch Davidians,” Lois shot off the verbal barb.
“Sitting in this former temple to Ra’ Al Ghul warrants comparisons to Waco,” The Rubber Queen admitted, “Now that I have told you the secret of my success, what can you do with it?”
“I can warn the Justice League,” Lois said.
“Would they believe you?” The Rubber Queen smiled, “Then again if I am brainwashing people who could you trust not to be one of my thralls? Who might be working for me without even knowing it? Then again, is this the first time you have been in my office?”
Lois looked around unsure how to respond.
“You are just too easy,” The Rubber Queen smiled, “A dominatrix always sees what buttons a client has and which ones to push for maximum effect. You can interview any of my employees. And see what they have to say, in fact you can invite any of your costumed friends to interview them if you want.”
“Thank you,” Lois said as she looked at her watch, “I’m sorry I have another appointment I have to reach.”
“Call my secretary when you want to talk to my people,” The Rubber Queen smiled.
“Thank you,” Lois said as she got up and left.
She made her way to the elevator and once inside she freaked out. Lois realized that if she if this bitch knew everything about her already, then who was safe? Lois texted Barbara Gordon, Lois needed to figure out if she was compromised.