Title

Batman

by BatPimp
Storyline Crossing the Line
Characters Batman
Category Absolutely Everything DC
Previous Chapter DC Superheroes

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Many would agree that Batman doesn't have feelings, that he never loses his cool. His intimidating appearance and unbreakable poker face only encourage them in their opinion. They don't have the slightest idea how wrong they are.

Just because he doesn't punch a colleague in the face at every meeting, doesn't mean he can't get riled up. Just because he doesn't break down in tears in front of his friends when they fail to save lives doesn't mean he doesn't feel sad. Just because he doesn't whistle or throws a lewd comment every time a female colleague passes by doesn't mean he doesn't desire them.

There are so many things that frustrate him in his life as Batman, as Bruce Wayne and as just Bruce.

As Batman, his problems come both from his enemies and his friends. He can never take a break, because his villains never quit. Oh sure, he catches them, beats them up to a bloody pulp and throws them in jail or in Arkham, but by the time he is finished with one villain another one pops out and takes his place. And by the time he is done with the last one, the first one has had the time to heal and get free. Seriously, those rotating doors in prisons are really starting to piss him off.

His superhero colleagues aren't much better. They always call him when they can't deal with a situation on their own, but when the time comes to deal with supervillains they try to keep him on the sideline, because he doesn't have superpowers. He has trained his whole life to be the best, has shed sweat and blood to achieve his goals, all for naught because he is nothing more than a pathetic human being. Then again, even when he does defeat his opponents, he spends most of his time getting tossed around like a rag doll or a crash test mannequin.

As Bruce Wayne, the playboy, the billionaire, he never gets treated seriously. Oh sure, he wanted people to think of him as a dim-witted fool, barely able to tie his shoes. But did they have to remind him of that every single day. He had enough of people telling him that he was nothing but a spoiled rich brat, that his honorable parents would be ashamed of the man he was.

Like he didn't get enough of this at home. Between Bruce Wayne and Batman (his two jobs), he barely had the time for a private life, but he still had one along with a strange surrogate family. Alfred, his butler and former guardian, still treated him like a child sometimes and regarded Bruce's mission as Batman as his charge throwing temper tantrums.

Alfred thought that Bruce was unhappy because he was single and constantly tried to play matchmaker. But he wasn't that good at it. Between the dumb socialites, like Veronica Vreeland, and the eccentric women, like Selina Kyle, Bruce was really getting sick of the dating game. Alfred's ideal of happiness for Bruce would be for him to marry Catwoman and for the both of them to give up their nocturnal activities.

But like the other women Bruce was fond of, Selina would never give up her freedom for him. They all wanted him to make all the concessions: Catwoman wanted Batman to let her steal whatever she wanted in exchange for sex, Talia wanted him to become her father's heir in exchange for sex,...

He probably overlooked a few names there. And the only woman who wouldn't ask him to change anything about himself was afraid to lose her friendship with another man, a married man nonetheless. Wonder Woman was at most Superman's platonic mistress, but it still made her unavailable for anyone else. In the end, Bruce and Lois, Clark Kent aka Superman's wife, were the ones who suffered because of this.

And don't mention his adoptive sons. That bunch of ingrates always managed to make him pass for an incompetent parent.

Between getting no respect, being treated like a child, a lack of recognition and a non-existent sex life, Bruce has had enough. He didn't become Batman to get any reward, but he still wanted more than living for his job. For once, he decided he was going to be selfish and do something for himself.


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gothamalleyviper - 9/14/2014 9:09 PM
Anyone want to toss me some help with a book length project over on message board?
aspiringactor - 9/14/2014 6:03 AM
swoldrepublic, there's no content in the chapter you just posted.
Evva - 9/14/2014 12:05 AM
You can try talk at the board
YoukoTaichou - 9/12/2014 11:57 PM
I'm always interested in a good LiaG story. Where do I go to talk?
aspiringactor - 9/12/2014 4:02 AM
Okay.
Gorel - 9/11/2014 9:26 PM
Hey Aspiringactor if you wanna brainstorm I'd be happy.
gothamalleyviper - 9/11/2014 8:57 PM
Will do an Alter ID chapter tomorrow evening and probably another Rubber Queen, If I can an MJ black Bat
C.King - 9/10/2014 9:01 PM
Message board for Life is a Game: The Addventure versions.
Grimmer - 9/10/2014 8:49 PM
Not that familiar with the premise and I'm not a Buffy fan but I'm game for whatever you write but for this, maybe have an option for DC or a mixed Marvel/DC verse?
C.King - 9/10/2014 8:22 PM
Question: Anyone interested in a Life is a Game storyline. I have a few story examples if interested. Including a perverted universe, Perverse version of Buffy starring Xander.



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