Title

A new variation on Cold Slither.

by Fanfic Fetishist
Storyline G.I.Joe
Characters Cobra Commander Destro The Baroness
Category
Previous Chapter Cobra Island

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    "...a new variation on the Cold Slither scheme," he said, nodding smugly.

    The looks of disgust and confusion on the faces of Destro, the Baroness, Interrogator, Firefly, Zartan, Major Bludd, Overkill, Tomax, Xamot, and Doctor Mindbender would have been hilarious to anyone watching.  Cobra Commander just took it all in stride.  "Hear me out," he said, turning to the monitor.  He pressed a button, and images of music idols such as Justin Beiber, Josh Groban, and dozens of others appeared on screen.  "The popularity of music today, as well as reality TV, has conquered the world far better than any army could.  The entertainment industry rules everything.  Hell, that SOPA nonsense would have sealed the deal if the Internet didn't rebel on them."  

    Cobra Commander then called up images of various Cobra officers and soldiers.  "My proposal is this," he said, "We start our OWN music company, and place subliminal messages in everything.  But we do it subtly, using only our best singers to do it.  Nothing even remotely snake themed."

    THAT surprised everyone.  Cobra Commander liked to slap a snake motif on everything.  And they were also surprised to find several of themselves up on the list of best singers.  

    "Commander... How do you propose we do this?" Baroness asked.  "I'm flattered that you think so highly of my voice, but it takes time for stardom to take off."  

    "Raptor's figured it all out," Cobra Commander said.  "That bird brain is finally useful.  We'll promote the hell out of the great singers, such as yourself and Destro, and 'arrange' to have all of the 'just really good' singers put on American Idol, each one wearing a device designed to spread Cobra's message across the globe.  

    He pressed a button, images of advertisements featuring Baroness and Destro in various positions, some romantic, some sexually teasing.  Destro grunted, glad at least that the Commander would still let him wear a metal mask, not wanting to dishonor his ancestors.  

    "...Do you really think this will work?" he said.  

    Cobra Commander just grinned beneath his mask, chuckling.

    Seven months later, the entire world was talking about the new music idols out there.  The Diamond Twins, Darrin and Nirrad, were tearing up the charts with their pop style, completely overshadowing the younger Justin Beiber completely.  Anya Contessa was the hottest new female singer out there, her talented voice capable of doing everything from bubblegum pop to opera.  And the mysterious Iron Phantom, who's real name was a mystery even to the hungry paparazzi, melted the hearts of millions with his beautiful operatic voice, his female fans creaming themselves when they heard his light Scottish accent.  There were rumors that he was going to be cast in an episode of Doctor Who soon.  

    Meanwhile, America prepared for the newest American Idol.  The contestants were all older than what they were used to seeing, but the auditions all proved to be exciting.  It looked to be a great season...

    In the background, a growing discontent with the American government was rising.  No one ever made the connection between the fact that the discontent really started to pick up shortly after the Diamond Twins, Anya Contessa, and Iron Phantom burst onto the musical scene...


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misbegotten2 - 8/24/2016 2:49 PM
ESchorcho--thanks for the compliment. Will try to have more up tomorrow or Friday.
Gorel - 8/23/2016 11:03 PM
Hey Fanficfetishist, I'm giving it some time if you want to add to Rogue Appetites, if not just let me know.
ESchorcho - 8/22/2016 5:01 PM
Great Bimbotech chapter, misbegotten2!
Gorel - 8/21/2016 7:32 PM
RL claims us all from time to time... She is a harsh mistress.
Fanfic Fetishist - 8/21/2016 7:22 PM
I'm sorry I haven't been contributing much. RL responsibilities affecting my will to write.
Yang Xiao Long - 8/21/2016 6:58 PM
I'll have a Devilish Woman chapter up either tonight or tomorrow.
Yang Xiao Long - 8/21/2016 3:50 PM
I don't have any ideas for Meanest Bitch of All either. I am writting something for Devilish Woman though.
Darth Elsa - 8/20/2016 10:41 PM
Not at the moment Niva. If you want to add a chapter you can.
Niva - 8/20/2016 5:42 PM
Any new ideas for "The Meanest Bitch of All"?
ESchorcho - 8/20/2016 1:00 PM
Sorry, GAV, for the delay. If you have the time and an idea for a new Rubber Queen chapter by all means please write it.



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