Title

A new variation on Cold Slither.

by Fanfic Fetishist
Storyline G.I.Joe
Characters Cobra Commander Destro The Baroness
Category
Previous Chapter Cobra Island

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    "...a new variation on the Cold Slither scheme," he said, nodding smugly.

    The looks of disgust and confusion on the faces of Destro, the Baroness, Interrogator, Firefly, Zartan, Major Bludd, Overkill, Tomax, Xamot, and Doctor Mindbender would have been hilarious to anyone watching.  Cobra Commander just took it all in stride.  "Hear me out," he said, turning to the monitor.  He pressed a button, and images of music idols such as Justin Beiber, Josh Groban, and dozens of others appeared on screen.  "The popularity of music today, as well as reality TV, has conquered the world far better than any army could.  The entertainment industry rules everything.  Hell, that SOPA nonsense would have sealed the deal if the Internet didn't rebel on them."  

    Cobra Commander then called up images of various Cobra officers and soldiers.  "My proposal is this," he said, "We start our OWN music company, and place subliminal messages in everything.  But we do it subtly, using only our best singers to do it.  Nothing even remotely snake themed."

    THAT surprised everyone.  Cobra Commander liked to slap a snake motif on everything.  And they were also surprised to find several of themselves up on the list of best singers.  

    "Commander... How do you propose we do this?" Baroness asked.  "I'm flattered that you think so highly of my voice, but it takes time for stardom to take off."  

    "Raptor's figured it all out," Cobra Commander said.  "That bird brain is finally useful.  We'll promote the hell out of the great singers, such as yourself and Destro, and 'arrange' to have all of the 'just really good' singers put on American Idol, each one wearing a device designed to spread Cobra's message across the globe.  

    He pressed a button, images of advertisements featuring Baroness and Destro in various positions, some romantic, some sexually teasing.  Destro grunted, glad at least that the Commander would still let him wear a metal mask, not wanting to dishonor his ancestors.  

    "...Do you really think this will work?" he said.  

    Cobra Commander just grinned beneath his mask, chuckling.

    Seven months later, the entire world was talking about the new music idols out there.  The Diamond Twins, Darrin and Nirrad, were tearing up the charts with their pop style, completely overshadowing the younger Justin Beiber completely.  Anya Contessa was the hottest new female singer out there, her talented voice capable of doing everything from bubblegum pop to opera.  And the mysterious Iron Phantom, who's real name was a mystery even to the hungry paparazzi, melted the hearts of millions with his beautiful operatic voice, his female fans creaming themselves when they heard his light Scottish accent.  There were rumors that he was going to be cast in an episode of Doctor Who soon.  

    Meanwhile, America prepared for the newest American Idol.  The contestants were all older than what they were used to seeing, but the auditions all proved to be exciting.  It looked to be a great season...

    In the background, a growing discontent with the American government was rising.  No one ever made the connection between the fact that the discontent really started to pick up shortly after the Diamond Twins, Anya Contessa, and Iron Phantom burst onto the musical scene...


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extreme1 - 1/23/2017 6:33 AM
And the first chapter of the story has been brought over. Now we see where it goes on here.
CorruptionCentral - 1/23/2017 5:57 AM
Helen-Troy, I understand how you feel. RL politics always brings out the most polarizing elements. Most of the writers I've had contact with here would take it as intended, but there are FAR more readers and where They might take it is where the s--- s
CorruptionCentral - 1/23/2017 5:50 AM
Extreme1, people put stories from here on other sites a lot. If it's your story, there's no question you can put it where you want. If it's someone else's, I'd ask first and add a line at the top stating who wrote it & where it was from, but it's up to
extreme1 - 1/23/2017 5:06 AM
Question: would it be ok to bring a story (well the first chapter) from another site? I've got a long dead story from BE's Addventures that I'd like to see this place's take on.
extreme1 - 1/23/2017 4:31 AM
site, the bad guys don't lose often lol. Not sure if I'll add anything, but, if it keeps going, I'll keep checking it out.
extreme1 - 1/23/2017 4:28 AM
Helen-Troy Understandable, it read to me as satire. But, I also think this particular election hit on some really deep schisms so people are understandably raw right now (As a Mexican-American, it's been a fucking nightmare). Also, LBR, on this sit
colleem - 1/23/2017 4:17 AM
Aye. But somehow he is the Luck one who gets what he wants so he is the Hero. I see him only as possible funny side Char
Helen-Troy - 1/23/2017 4:05 AM
Guys I'm a little surprised by reaction to this. It's satire, with the possibility to go two ways (let's face it, I hardly made him a "hero") and as for politics, this place is hardly PC at all!
colleem - 1/23/2017 1:58 AM
Aye. Besides the fact that it was trump it was a very good chapter.
extreme1 - 1/23/2017 12:04 AM
ESchorcho, agreed.



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