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Lexcorp Tower...
Lex's Office...
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“A woman's place,” the man in the dark suit said, “aside from in the kitchen, is beneath their man. Their purpose is to take care of their men, and give them children.”
The man in the dark suit straightened his tie. “The issue is that circumstances have proven that we actually need women superheroes. Which violates the natural order,in my view. Especially with women like Lois Lane gaining the powers of Superman, and the model Mary-Jane Parker getting the powers of Spider-Man. But that's where I have figured out a counteragent.”
“Really,” Lex Luthor said, casting a glance to his associate, Norman Osborn.
The man nodded. “To counteract the assault of supervillains, who's evil violates God's law just as much as women with power do, superheroes and superheroines are needed. But the women still need to know their place. Hence, my plan.”
Norman snickered. “What is your plan, Mister...?”
“I am the Practical Chauvinist,”the suited man said, smirking and adding. “You may call me PC.”
Lex and Norman, to their credit,restrained themselves from snickering at the dumb villain name.
PC, mistaking their amusement for thinking that the shorthand version of his name was funny, continued. “My plan is simple. I've released a nanotech mesh that over the planet that will seek out every costumed female in the SHIELD and Checkmate databases, giving them the compulsive urge to seek out a male superhero and breed with them, their bodies producing pheromones that will make the man they choose unable to resist fucking them, treating them like the fucktoys they were meant to be. Once they've mated with that hero, they will become that hero's willing sexual slave,willing and wanting to be fucked anywhere and at any time, craving their master's babies in their belly. That way, they can still serve as protectors while providing a positive example to willful, arrogant women the world over.”
Norman quirked an amused eyebrow. “Getting shot in the stomach will still be a danger,” he said.
PC shook his head. “The nanos also sought out Michael Holt and Tony Stark, Mister Terrific and Iron Man,and will plant a suggestion in their heads to get together over drinks in two days and come up with the idea for a microthin forcefield that can be attached to any costume, capable of preventing injury even to a woman at full term,” he said. “Even Tigra's slutty costume will be protected so she can still be a hero while still providing sons and daughters for whomever her master will be. I've covered all my bases. I just need funding for the next phase of my plan.”
“Here we go...” Lex said softly. More audibly, he said, “Well then, let's hear it.”
“Once the women have taken their place as the sexual slaves of the heroes, I'll need to have a platform to preach true family values from. Creating the nanos and hiring mercenaries to steal the SHIELD and Checkmate data took all of my money, so I'll need funding to create a webcast that can help educate the world on proper family values.”
Norman and Lex leaned into each other and began whispering back and forth. They both nodded, and looked at Practical Chauvinist. “We've considered your proposal, and have decided that you are a twit and should die,” Norman said, pulling his Green Goblin mask out of his pocket and putting it on.
PC stood up in shock. “You... YOU ARE A VILLAIN! FIEND!”
Lex snickered. “Now he gets it...”
“GOD IS ON MY SIDE! HE IS MY ROCK AND MY SWORD AND...” the rest of PC's rant was cut off as Norman,cackling, leaped over the table and shoved a pumpkin bomb into PC's mouth. It exploded, destroying PC's head and leaving it a smoldering crater. The would-be evangelist slumped over, dead.
Lex just pressed a button, PC's body being dropped into a trap door, where it would be disintegrated, leaving no evidence.
“Not bad,” Norman said, pulling off his Green Goblin mask. “I need one of those for my offices at OsCorp.”
Lex shook his head. “The consummategall of that man,” he muttered. “Wasting our time and his geniuswith such a silly plan.”
“Still,” Norman said, “he's given us something to work with. Perhaps that nanotech he developed can be turned to our use? Maybe it can be subverted, used to turn them to our mutual cause.”
Lex stroked his chin. He'd entered into this alliance with Norman Osborn after Doctor Doom had proven too volatile to work with, Norman favoring the more business-like approach he did. And despite the Practical Chauvinist's utterly silly reasons for his plan, it did present a unique opportunity.
“MODOK owes me a favor,” Lex said. “I can have him take a look at things.”
Norman nodded. “With the minds of the heroes addled by sex and pheromones, it should leave them open to suggestion,” he said.
Lex nodded in agreement. “Yes, I think we can salvage this idiocy,” he said, smirking and adding,“and if nothing else, it will be fun to watch all those supersluts whoring themselves out for their men.”
Norman cackled in agreement.